New cat is a bully

[ShinyGreenApple]

In January, we took Thirteen in after getting her down from a tree in the yard. She's extremely affectionate, loves people, and is a complete snugglebug/attention whore. But she's horrible to my other cat, Mort, a neutered male that I've had for some three and a half years (also a stray that decided to move in). Both are predominantly outdoor cats and I feed them outside. When I pet Mort, Thirteen comes over and demands pets, and since he's scared of her, he runs away. When I feed them, I try to keep a good distance between their bowls, but Thirteen will walk up to Mort's as he's trying to eat, hissing and scratching, slapping him in the face. I used to think he could do well for himself but he lets her push him around. I've got an appointment for Thirteen's spay next week and I'm hoping I might see some improvement, but there's no way to tell for sure. In case she stays a self-absorbed little bitch is there any way to train this behavior out of her?

On the same note, my nephew's Mom/brother's ex was down last week and her daughter saw Thirteen and started going on about how she wishes she had a cat again and how much she loved Thirteen. They're coming back this way this weekend and I'm half-tempted to ask if they want to take the cat with them, LOL. I probably won't, though. I just don't want Mort to be bullied since I've had him longer and I hate to see him reserved and scared like this.

[Marmalady]

Some cats (and dogs, too) just like to be the only pet in a household. They don't want any competition for the hugs and snuggles. And if she's been denied these during her time living rough, this might make her even more competitive. See what kind of effect the spaying has. If there's no change for the better, then it may be the case that both she and Mort will be happier if she has a new home with your ex SIL's daughter.

Something similar happened to a friend of mine, who had a couple of dogs and took in a rescue dog. One of her 'old' pets was fine with it, but the other was totally hostile even though the rescue dog was completely submissive, never tried to get dominance or anything. Eventually, my friend had to admit defeat and gave the rescue dog to another lady who lived just down the road (so at least she knew that the dog would be loved and looked after).

Sadly, like humans, there are some animals who are just never going to be friends.

[ShinyGreenApple]

Well the thing is, my ex SIL and her daughter, who is almost 16, already have two dogs. The girl is just a big lover of cats and misses having one around; I'm not sure Thirteen would appreciate sharing her household with a boxer and another dog, even if it meant not competing with Mort anymore She loves our Pomeranian, has a mutual "You don't bother me, I don't bother you" thing with the Shih Tzu, but terrorizes my Border Collie. Also SIL and daughter live in TN and we're in FL and they probably won't be back down till summer or so.

[Squeaksmyalias]

I would say it's worth a shot talking to your EX- SIL to see how the dogs felt about having a cat in the house, they might have done well. Just as a back up plan. If Thirteen does need a new home, then you know you have one for her, and you can sit down and discuss possibly doing a test drive with your EX-SIL and daughter about doing it, and seeing how the cat works in their house. She is at an age where learning about animal care and that not all pets work out in some homes is ok, and can happen and how to handle that properly so you are doing what's best for the pet. I would say she should be mature enough to learn that. I'm thinking how ever long it takes them for the visit back would be long enough for the cat and everyone to settle in, so you should know by then if everything is working out. Keep in mind I'm saying in general, as far as time, and the girl's maturity. As an adult and someone who works with animals, I even still think it's hard to give up a pet, so I understand the feelings.


BTW I'm not surprised about your boarder collie being terrorized, as a herding dog they tend to poke at cats one to many times trying to play and herd. So then they get slapped around. I love herding dogs, sometimes they get themselves into trouble.

[Sapphire Silk]

Agreed: some cats are just not cat people.

My two cats, Stumps and Jasmine, simply did not like each other, and I was left with a hard choice. One had to find a new home. The choice came down to simple pragmatics, as I love both of them equally. Stumps would use his kitty door into the garage, where the litter box was, and Jasmine would not.

I still wish I had her. But rehoming her was the right thing to do.

[ShinyGreenApple]

We offered them the cat yesterday and they said yes . . . but this morning they said after sleeping on it, they're not ready for a cat after all. At least they decided before they took her and got halfway to Tennessee Oh well, we'll go ahead with the spay this Thursday and see what happens.