Getting together for MiL's birthday (Should I be offended?)

[CaroPhoenix]

Next week (May 14), the Rum family is going to descend upon the house that is the PiL's. Along with us will be K1, K2 (the other grandchildren), BiL#1, his wife, BiL#2 and his wife. It was decided that everyone was going to bring meats/sides/dessert so MiL wouldn't have to cook. (Or, as BiL#2 said: "Mom doesn't know how to cook and I want to eat good food, so she's not cooking". Yeah, he went there, not me, but I have the same sentiments).

So, Mr. Rum and I are bringing the ribs. Mr. Rum makes amazing ribs. He parboils them, then marinates them in a barbecue sauce overnight, and then grills them.

BiL#2 and his wife are bringing hamburgers/hotdogs (along with turkey dogs for the "dieters"). They're also bringing 2 sides, and possibly the birthday cake from Costco.

BiL#1 and his wife are bringing the buns for the burgers and dogs. They're also bringing 2 sides.

Again, all I have to bring is Mr. Rum (and Child Rum too) and the ribs that Mr. Rum will be cooking.

Nothing else.

WTF?

I can cook. Really! Honestly. And let me tell you: even though MiL can't cook, neither can the other 2 DiLs. Seriously, I think I'm the only woman in the NotaRum family who can actually cook.

So ... what the fk is going on here?

[MaggieTheCat]

This happens every Christmas with my family's get-togethers. Last year, my brother was hosting. The plan was to go out to dinner, and come back to his place to open presents and eat dessert/snacks. So he and his girlfriend were making cookies and pie, and my other brother and his wife were bringing some kind of pan dessert. They told our mother that she didn't need to bring anything if she didn't want to.

My mother got insulted because she thought they didn't want her to bring anything.

My brothers were just trying to be nice and say, "We have enough stuff already, you don't have to go out of your way to make more if you don't want to."

I got both sides of the story, since I didn't actually go (they all live in Wisconsin, I live in Texas) but I'm not sure how it ever actually got resolved between them all.

I don't know your family well enough to say whether they were deliberately being insulting or if they were just spacing, or what. If you want to bring something, bring it. Who cares if they told you you don't have to? Make up an excuse if you really want to. "I have this wonderful side dish/salad/dessert that goes just great with Mr. Rum's ribs" or "Child Rum really likes this other dish so I brought that too, to make sure she got something she liked."

[42_42_42]

Honestly, they were probably thinking that ribs are more costly than what they're bringing so it would be unfair to burden y'all with another dish.

That being said, if you want to make something, do so. I seriously doubt anyone will complain that there's MORE yummy food.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I agree. You've got your hands full with the kid.

I realize you're probably more than a little gun shy around these people, but I echo the sentiment that the ribs are not cheap. Why should you both bring a dish? The ribs are coming from your household, that should be plenty.

If you want to cook, go for it. Personally, I myself would enjoy the fact that for once, Mr. Rum is shouldering a little of the burden and giving you less work instead of more.

[MaggieTheCat]

Good point, RK!

Whenever my husband and I go to a picnic or gathering of some kind where we're asked to bring a dish, we only bring one dish between the two of us. So that's a good point, too. I still say bring something if you want to, but don't sweat it if you decide not to.

[CaroPhoenix]

Mr. Rum was being an asshat this afternoon. I told him he could go to his Mommy's house without me. He said he & Child would starve as the only "good food" they'd have is the ribs .

I might make my "famous" tuna pasta salad. I know it's something Child will eat. I'm sure she'll eat a hot dog and maybe a rib. But when she's down at the house of the PiLs, she's too busy wanting to play with the dog and exploring every room in the teeny tiny house.

*le sigh*

On a bright note, I'm seeing my therapist the day before this "wonderful" event. That's good, right?

[BlaqueKatt]

I do feel your pain. I can cook pretty well. And was once told to bring "scalloped potatoes" for thanksgiving. I had the ham, cheese, flour, and butter all ready to go, and was yelled at because "scalloped potatoes" to them meant sliced potatoes covered in cream of mushroom soup-that's it. I was like WTF? I want to actually COOK something , not spend 3 minutes slicing potatoes and spooning soup over them, that is NOT cooking. I was going to make scalloped corn as well as I had tons of ham and cheese prepped.

[CaroPhoenix]

Awww .. Blaque! I'm sorry to hear that!

All of use peoples who love to cook and are being shafted need to get together and throw a dinner party.

I'm going to think about this, and probably just eat all of the ribs and maybe bring something I know Child Rum will eat.

I make an awesome crock pot mac & cheese. And I know Child Rum will eat that.

All I'm really worried about is how Child Rum is going to eat. As I said before, she barely eats at MiL's house. And then everyone looks at ME like I know why she's not eating.

[MoonCat]

I make an awesome crock pot mac & cheese

Share?

And I'm sure Child Rum will eat if she's hungry. If the in-laws give you a "look", pretend you don't see it.

[MaggieTheCat]

Share?

Yes please. I'm always on the lookout for a good mac&cheese recipe. Also, BK, would you mind sharing your scalloped corn recipe? I've had scalloped potatoes and ham, which is excellent, but I've never heard of scalloped corn.

[CaroPhoenix]

I'll have to dig it out of my archives of crock pot recipes and then will post later.

I'm thinking of not bringing anything but Mr. Rum, Child, and the ribs.

Also, I'm a little put out.

SiL#1 just let everyone know that K1 and K2 have "games" the morning/afternoon of May 14. I really think that: 1. It won't kill the kids to miss them on this ONE day and 2. If everyone things we're going to be getting together really late, they have another thing coming. We have to be on a strict schedule with Child Rum (me, the free spirit, the "we'll do it whenever we get around to it" type of person is starting to make and keep schedules *shudder*). Plus, with her listening therapy, I don't want her missing more than the requisite number of days than she's supposed to (she has to listen to the CD for 5 days with a break of 2 days. The therapist recommended having one day of definite break, like Saturday OR Sunday and then have one "any day" break during the week in case something happens).

Maybe I'm selfish about K1 and K2. But my anxiety level just sky rockets when I think of going down there, and yes, it's hard for everyone to schedule around us, but ... dangnabbit! They don't have to live with Child Rum. And Mr. Rum for that matter.

[CaroPhoenix]

No-Fuss Macaroni and Cheese (Really incredibly easy)

2 cups (about 8 ounces) uncooked elbow macaroni
4 ounces light pasteurized processed cheese, cubed (I use Velveeta)
1 cup (4 ounces) shredded mild Cheddar cheese
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1.5 cups fat-free (skim) milk

Combine macaroni, cheeses, salt and pepper in slow cooker. Pour milk over all. Cover; cook on LOW 2 to 3 hours, stirring after 20 to 30 minutes.

(Made this at home & Mr. Rum loves it! No longer brags about his mother's baked macaroni).

Also ... when did 8 ounces = 2 cups and 4 ounces = 1 cup in cooking world? I thought no matter if it's liquid or solids (like cheese and macaroni, etc., etc.), 8 ounces = 1 cup and 4 ounces = 1/2 cup?? Or am I missing something?

[Treasure]

Also ... when did 8 ounces = 2 cups and 4 ounces = 1 cup in cooking world? I thought no matter if it's liquid or solids (like cheese and macaroni, etc., etc.), 8 ounces = 1 cup and 4 ounces = 1/2 cup?? Or am I missing something?

Volume vs weight

4oz of weight = 1 cup volume

or so I'm thinking - go watch Good Eats w/ Alton Brown for verification

[MaggieTheCat]

Thanks for the recipe, Rummy. I know when AB first published his oatmeal cookie recipe, he used all weight for the measurement...I don't remember the exact measurements without looking up the recipe, but I know there was a lot of oatmeal in it and people were somehow thinking that the amount of oatmeal he used equaled like 2 cups. When really it was more like 4.5 cups. People were using cups to measure without weighing it and their cookies were turning out horrible.

Oatmeal doesn't pack into a cup as well as, say, flour does. There's more air space in the cup since the grains of oatmeal are bigger than the grains of flour. So when people thought that they were getting enough oatmeal by just measuring with a cup instead of by weight, they actually weren't.

I just ran into the kitchen and weighed a few things.

1 cup water = 8.2oz
1 cup milk = 8.7oz
1 cup sugar = 7.4oz
1 cup flour = 5.8oz
1 cup oatmeal = 3oz

Now, granted, it may not have been EXACTLY a cup of everything. I could have packed the flour into the cup to get more in. I may have been just slightly over the cup line when I measured the milk. But that's why weighing ingredients is so much more accurate than using volumetric measurements.

Edit to add: Regarding macaroni and cheese, think about it. Elbow macaroni does not completely fill up a measuring cup like water would. It's a solid and a rather large solid (compared to, say, grains of flour or sugar) so there's going to be air space when you measure it out with a measuring cup. Same with shredded cheese. A cup of cheese sauce that is liquid is going to weigh more than a cup of shredded cheese, since the cheese sauce will completely fill the cup, whereas the shredded cheese will have air space in the middle.

[CaroPhoenix]

Thanks for the explanations everyone!

I'll be talking to Mr. Rum re: k1 & k3's schedules for the games and reiterating the "We are NOT eating late into the night."