Jester needs.....BAKING help?!?!?

[Jester]

I know, I know...I cook, I don't bake. I've said this a thousand times, and I've meant it every time.

However, rules can be broken, even if they're our own rules for our own lives. And in this case, my main issue with baking is not that I don't have the ability or talent to do it...I have no doubt that I very much do. I just don't really have the patience it takes to bake, as baking, unlike cooking, generally requires a bit more exactness. And frankly, I have no real passion for baking, to be perfectly honest.

Well, sometimes it's worth bending our own rules to achieve something we really want. And I was inspired by something I saw in the latest issue of Food Network Magazine, in which they have a cake made to look like a carved-out coconut tropical cocktail. "That's freakin' cool!" was my first thought. In typical magician fashion, my second thought was "I could do that!" Which then led to thoughts of actually doing just that for my friends for my upcoming birthday dinner. Not only would that be awesome, but my friends would never expect to see a cake made by ME. Food, yes. Baked goods, oh hell no.

And then I really started thinking. Coconut shell cocktail, sure, cool, nice. Not really me though. What about a.....a.....holy hell, that's brilliant.....a BEER CAKE!

....................

And yes, I did a bit of googling, and I found some cool stuff, including an ingenious recipe for the beer "foam" to top the cake with. But I figured, hey, we have a bunch of brilliant cooks on CS.com, why don't I bring this to them?

So, my baker friends, for maybe only this once, I am crossing over to the dark side of the kitchen, and I need your guidance. Here's what I want to do:

Create a cake that not only looks like a mug or pint glass of beer (not a bottle) standing up, with foam, looking very beer-like, but if at all possible, I want to make this....with beer! Maybe a dark beer, I don't know, not sure, but I am willing to listen to all ideas on the subject, and take notes on all recipes, and listen to any and all advice you may have.

The only catch is this: my birthday is two weeks from today. And in that time, in addition to my normal work schedule, I am also going to be making paella for a cookoff and performing magic at the local high school prom. (Yes, really.) Actually, the prom gives me a freer schedule, since in order to guarantee that I would be there on time looking the part, I had to request off for my normal day shift that day.

Oh, I should also mention that I don't have a single cake pan, but of course, I can buy those. I also do not have an electric mixer.

Is this possible? Or am I going to have to troop down to the local grocery store with the brilliant baker and have him make me this (or possibly a rum cake designed to look like a bottle of one of my favorite rums)?

CS Bakers.....TO ME!!!!



(For those wondering about my state of mine (i.e., sobriety) during this post, I am only midway through my second beer of the night. In other words, I am stone cold sober, and damn serious about this.)

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Electric mixers aren't necessary for 'just a cake.' After all, 95 percent of baking techniques (and 100 percent of those used by mere mortals) have been around before electricity. Of course, things are way the fuck easier with them, when, say cutting together fats, like butter and shortening (yes, you slash across all of it until it's all one big grainy pile. Tres annoying, and it must be done cool, preferably cold.)
I would think you'd have to decide on the cake size first. the upright-ness of this means you'll probably want flat round cake pans (which are easy and fun to find in a variety of sizes and makes and are super-common, bog-standard).
Is this the thing you saw? 'cuz if so, it's easy enough to modify.
Anyway.
The foam should be easy enough, especially with dairy or eggs... meringue foam maybe... (also I think I misspelled the egg-product for the music ) The actual thing of beer in the batter... *goes to search*
a google search of "beer in cake" (without the quotes) yields good results.
these looked promising
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/beer-cake-i/Detail.aspx
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/fo...ut-Cake-107105
Guinness seems unnaturally popular in baked goods, so take from that what you will. I don't really drink, let alone drink beer.
You'll probably want to try the cakes out before you actually make your BEER CAKE. After all, funky tasting stuff just is bleh.
Baking is like cooking in general, so don't get too worked up and anxious. A little concentration, pay attention to the recipe, and watch your time.

[Jester]

I would think you'd have to decide on the cake size first. the upright-ness of this means you'll probably want flat round cake pans (which are easy and fun to find in a variety of sizes and makes and are super-common, bog-standard).
Is this the thing you saw? 'cuz if so, it's easy enough to modify.

Yep, that's it. And I figured that modifying that shape to beer glass (like a standard pint glass) wouldn't be that tough. Hell, I could use three of the same size cake pans and just trim cake to achieve that effect, since the top of a pint glass is only slightly wider than the bottom.

The foam should be easy enough, especially with dairy or eggs... meringue foam maybe...

Yeah, the recipe I found for the foam is for a meringue that you let harden somewhat over a couple days....it looks brilliant.

these looked promising

I'll check them out.

Guinness seems unnaturally popular in baked goods

Yeah, I knew that going in, and actually, as a beer drinker, I can say it makes total sense.

That being said, I DO want the beer cake to look like a "standard" beer, i.e., the "liquid" part of it should be golden to amber. Though I am not against it being a dark "beer," since I've been drinking a lot more of those lately.

You'll probably want to try the cakes out before you actually make your BEER CAKE. After all, funky tasting stuff just is bleh.

Actually, no. I am not a huge fan of baking, and I trust in my talent and ability to follow instructions (and plan on following instructions more closely than I would during one of my normal cooking experiments), so I just want to do this once. Period. And if it comes out fucked up, well, into the bin it goes, and lesson learned. No biggie.

Baking is like cooking in general, so don't get too worked up and anxious. A little concentration, pay attention to the recipe, and watch your time.

Oh, this I know. And this would be actually kind of fun for me, as it's not for a cookoff, my friends have no idea I'm planning this, so either it works and I look awesome (okay, more awesome than normal), or it doesn't work, I pitch it, and it's no big deal.

[AccountingDrone]

Hm, the sides of the 'glass' are just amber colored fondant, unless you perhaps make candy 'glass' pint glass and simply drop round slices of cake into it.

See, if you wanted to make a glass of wine where the top rondel needed to be a bit glassy you could make a colored candy glass disc, but with beer you make the faux foam.

[Seshat]

Structurally, you'll want enough tiers of cake to make the 'glass'.

WAIT FOR THE CAKE TO COOL.

You then stack the tiers on top of each other, carve (carefully!) to shape. If you mess up the shape, you can stick some of it back on with icing.

You can also colour the sides with icing - which will also conceal the seams. And any screwed up bits of carving you did.

[Kittish]

Yea, you don't need electric mixers or any fancy gear for baking. I do something like 95% of mine with a fork.

I third (or is it 4th? aw hell, let's make it a 5th!) the idea of doing simple round layers and trimming to shape. Depending on how big you want the cake to ultimately be, you'll either need 3 or 4 layers.

You should probably put frosting on it, both for color and to help the layers stay together. Easy enough to buy or make a simple vanilla frosting (frosting doesn't have much in the way of liquid in it, so I don't see how to get any beer into THAT), with a few drops of yellow food coloring and maybe a tiny bit of red to get the right color. To get the sides nice and smooth, after you've applied your frosting to the cake, dip a butter knife into HOT water, let it sit for a few seconds, wipe it dry, and smoothly sweep the flat of the knife UP the cake. Rinse and repeat all the way around, til you're satisfied with the look.

Yes, let the cake layers cool COMPLETELY (to room temp) before you try to stack them up. If they're even a LITTLE bit still warm from the oven, you'll wind up with a soggy mess. But don't try putting them in the fridge, again, they'll get soggy on you. You can refrigerate the cake after it's iced and decorated, though I'm not sure how your 'foam' would react to that, meringue can be kind of picky about temp and humidity. If you can make the foam seperately and set it on your cake at the last minute sort of thing, that would probably work out best.

For the cake, it's very simple to replace the liquid called for either in the recipe or on the box with whatever beer you like. You should probably make one batch ahead of time to test the flavor you wind up with by doing this. Another hint- you may well want to start off by using a strongly flavored beer. You can always switch to something with a milder flavor if needed, but flavors like that tend to lessen in baked goods.

Now, just for fun- if you decide you want to get REALLY creative, and can find the time, turn your beer cake into mini beer cakes! Make cupcakes. Maybe one batch jumbo cupcakes, and a second batch regular size. Stack, trim and frost as with the full size cake only on a smaller scale. If by some wild chance you decide to try that, make sure you only fill the jumbo cups half full (or a little less even) with the batter, so they'll come out with sort of flat tops. And don't use cupcake liners, instead be sure to grease and flour your pans just like you do with the big ones.

[Mikkel]

I have never made cake with beer, but I have used beer for pancakes and meatballs.
The lighter beers often get a sour taste when they are cooked. I would try a dark, sweet beer in the cake.

[Food Lady]

I'd say look up a recipe for coke cake or 7up cake, as they use carbonated liquids, which change the chemistry. You could modify one of those recipes. If you use a boxed mix, use flat beer so you don't over-leaven. As for structure, I have no idea. If you find a recipe for a 13" x 9" cake, that's equivalent to 2 round layers. A foamy frosting would be 7-minute frosting. You can use one pot over another as a double-boiler. You need an electric mixer for that one, unless you can whisk really fast.

[JambaBamba]

I've tasted chocolate guinness cakes and they are yummy! (this was the cake I had http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/fo...ut-Cake-107105)

For equipment - use a couple cake pans, a knife, a fork and a spatula. that should be all you need (yes, mixers are awesome but don't worry about it)

If you're using premade mixes for the cake I'd think you'd be able to substitute beer for part of the water, but you'd probably need to test a couple times to make sure that the proportions were right and you were getting enough beer taste. I'd go with a Devil's food or other dark chocolate cake mix.

For cutting the layers - make sure to put some frosting between the layers - it's wonderful glue. after you cut out your shape do a crumb coating of frosting (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KvwwGRyHBg) and I'd chill the cake for about 20 minutes before putting on the actual decorating frosting.

Let us know how it turns out!

[MoonCat]

Just a suggestion, not sure how well this would work, but instead of layers you could bake it in a large size coffee can. I've seen bread recipes that use them, so I would think a cake could work, too. Then you'd have an upright shape that could be trimmed a little on the sides to sculpt the shape you want, and you wouldn't have to worry about layers being uneven, or falling over, etc.

But if someone who knows more about baking than I do says it's a bad idea, listen to them!

[Cookie]

Beer cake isn't something I've tried in particular, but I would love to. That being said, I can't speak to an actual recipe. I will say, though, that you shouldn't worry about an electric mixer. You actually won't want to over-mix the cake since over-working flour will develop gluten, a protein which gives bread dough its elasticity and the finished product that awesome, bready texture...which isn't so awesome when making a cake. Get the lumps out and call the mixing done!

[MaggieTheCat]

A lot of times, you don't even need or want to get the lumps out of batter. Ever make pancakes? If your batter is smooth before you start frying them, it's over mixed. Pancake batter should be lumpy. I just made a cake tonight, and my batter was pretty lumpy before I poured it in the pan.

I thought about a coffee can too...I have heard of bread being made it one, but never a cake. I'm not sure how it would turn out. I'd be worried about the inside still being runny/mushy while the outside dries out.

Okay, I did a quick google search and here's some info on baking a cake in a coffee can: http://www.ehow.com/how_4857620_can-...-cake-can.html

[BlaqueKatt]

or to get very close to the right shape-use a cheap clay flowerpot-no stacking or carving needed

Flower Pot Cake Follow directions for brandy or rum cake cake, or a simple yellow box or scratch cake using 2 cups of flour. Obtain a new, clean, 5” or 6” clay flower plot. Wash and dry. Cut a double-thick circle of foil for bottom of pot, then line sides of pot with single layer of foil, pressing against sides firmly. Spray with baking spray and dust all lightly with flour before adding cake batter. Bake 40-45 minutes or until cake touched lightly springs back(or pick inserted in center comes out clean). Cool in pot ten minutes, then turn out onto rack widest side down and cool thoroughly.

also parchment would work to line the pot

[Jester]

Yea, you don't need electric mixers or any fancy gear for baking. I do something like 95% of mine with a fork.

For someone more inexperienced in baking (i.e., my dumb ass), would a whisk be as good? I just figure I can mix better and more "electric mixer like" with a whisk than with a fork.

I third (or is it 4th? aw hell, let's make it a 5th!) the idea of doing simple round layers and trimming to shape. Depending on how big you want the cake to ultimately be, you'll either need 3 or 4 layers.

Pretty much what I was planning on doing, honestly. As for size, it doesn't have to be that large, as from experience I can tell you that our dinner is going to be very filling; I just want it the right proportions to resemble a pint glass, as it were.

You should probably put frosting on it, both for color and to help the layers stay together.

Also what I was planning on doing, as that seems to be the consensus of the various recipes I've seen.

Easy enough to buy or make a simple vanilla frosting (frosting doesn't have much in the way of liquid in it, so I don't see how to get any beer into THAT), with a few drops of yellow food coloring and maybe a tiny bit of red to get the right color.

I was thinking this, or perhaps using a butterscotch/caramel frosting, or perhaps even a light chocolate one, depending upon what kind of "beer" I wanted the cake to resemble.

To get the sides nice and smooth, after you've applied your frosting to the cake, dip a butter knife into HOT water, let it sit for a few seconds, wipe it dry, and smoothly sweep the flat of the knife UP the cake.

Excellent practical tip, and something I would not have thought of.

Yes, let the cake layers cool COMPLETELY (to room temp) before you try to stack them up.

Another excellent tip!

If you can make the foam seperately and set it on your cake at the last minute sort of thing, that would probably work out best.

Based on the recipe I found, I will probably be making the "foam" meringue a couple days ahead of time, to allow it to set.

Now, just for fun- if you decide you want to get REALLY creative, and can find the time, turn your beer cake into mini beer cakes! Make cupcakes.

Nice idea, but no. I don't want to get that involved in decorating (one cake rather than many mini ones to decorate? Hell yeah!), and I don't have any cupcake pans. Also, cupcakes are just the wrong dimensions for a "beer."

The lighter beers often get a sour taste when they are cooked. I would try a dark, sweet beer in the cake.

More excellent information!

I've tasted chocolate guinness cakes and they are yummy! (this was the cake I had http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/fo...ut-Cake-107105)

That recipe looks like a real possibility....

Get the lumps out and call the mixing done!

More great info!

I thought about a coffee can too...

Interesting idea, but I think the shape would be wrong....and I would have to find an empty coffee can. As someone who doesn't even drink coffee, and am unsure which of my friends actually make their own at home, this might be tough...

or to get very close to the right shape-use a cheap clay flowerpot-no stacking or carving needed

...but this might actually be a great idea. Some flower pots are pretty much the same shape as pint glasses, cylindrical with a slight outward tapering from bottom to top. This is a serious idea....

Of course, I would have to find a flowerpot that would be oven-safe. And just how does one ask the folks in the Home Depot garden section if you can stick a flowerpot in the oven safely without getting very, very odd looks, and, more importantly, the correct answer?

Some great info, tips, and ideas, folks. Keep 'em coming!

[Eireann]

Take this for what you will - but aren't clay flowerpots oven-fired at an EXTREMELY high temperature? I think they'd be oven-safe. And quite a few of them are (when used for their original purpose) left out in the hot sun in tropical or desert environments.