My Birthdaycation!

[MoonCat]

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfN4_52loC4

Happy Birthday! The above is the Paella episode of Posh Nosh, in case you haven't seen it...enjoy!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Today I celebrated your birthday by getting dinner from my favorite over-priced cash-only Italian place. It was delicious.

[XCashier]

Have a happy one, Jester!

[Akasa]

Happy birthday Jester!

[Jester]

Thank you all. I currently have a hangover the size of Alaska, and am missing my glasses, which is a bad thing. I woke up on the couch fully dressed sans glasses, and can't find them. I have my old glasses and my contacts, but I am going to be really pissed if I lost my glasses, something I've never done, as that is a $300 mistake.

The above is the Paella episode of Posh Nosh, in case you haven't seen it...enjoy!

I've never even heard of Posh Nosh, so this should be interesting!

Today I celebrated your birthday by getting dinner from my favorite over-priced cash-only Italian place. It was delicious.

Sounds lovely. And now I want pasta.

And my glasses. Seriously, where the fuck ARE they?

[Jester]

Update: Still have not found my motherfucking glasses. They were not, in fact, at the bar that I was last spotted at, that I have no memory of being at, that when I called told me they had a pair of glasses, but when I got there we discovered that they were not MY glasses.

I've called both cab companies in town, both of which told me to check in with them tomorrow. I've called some bars I was at, including the last one where I was photographed wearing my glasses (and, apparently, dozing off). No one's seen them. Somehow I got home. No one knows how. Apparently all my friends left me by the last bar I was photographed at, and yet somehow, I made it to yet another bar, and no one knows with who or who, nor how I got home. I'm assuming I took a cab home, but don't know that for certain. Somehow I got really fucked up. I woke up, fully clothed, but without my goddamn glasses.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY GLASSES?!?!??! I can't believe I would have made a $300 mistake like that. I just want my fucking glasses back. This is ridiculous.

Luckily, I still have my contacts, and my old glasses, but damn it, I want the new ones.

And no, I didn't get laid last night, for anyone who's interested. Not that I would remember it.

Fuck.

[ParkingWitch]

I'll vote that the couch ate them.

[Jester]

I have looked on the couch, in the couch, under the couch, behind the couch. No glasses. If the couch ate them, it is doing a damn good job of hiding them. I have performed a couchectomy and come up glassessless.

And now I am getting a lecture from my little sister about how, if I don't want bad things to happen for me for being a drunken idiot, perhaps I shouldn't be a drunken idiot.

I told her precisely where she could stick her judgmental lectures, and it was not Slovenia.

This is not my biggest fuck up as a drunk. It may end up being, however, the most expensive. This is so fucked up. How the flying hell did I lose my motherfucking glasses?

ARGH!

[Mikkel]

If the glasses aren't smashed, they will probably be turned in somewhere. Here somewhere would be at the nearest police station.
I got lost keys, glasses and purses turned in at my shop regularly. If there weren't any clues to the owner, I'd bring them to the police as soon as I had time. Usually next weekend.
Don't give up hope.

[Becks]

Did you check your pockets?

The Jestermobile?

Your friends' vehicles?

In a random shoe?

Refrigerator?

[MoonCat]

And no, I didn't get laid last night, for anyone who's interested. Not that I would remember it.

Well, there goes my theory...I thought perhaps some young lovely was walking around town wearing your glasses as a trophy...

[Jester]

Still no glasses, though a little more info has come to light. I finally talked to the bartender who was working the last bar anyone I've talked to saw me at, and she checked her phone and found a picture she took of me snoozing, and I did still have my glasses on. And apparently a friend of mine yelled at me to go home since I was out cold, and I said okay, got up, and left. And between there and waking up on my couch, the world is a complete blank. I have called said friend and left a voicemail, though I doubt he'll be able to shed any more light on the situation than the bartender did. She said that there were not any glasses left on the bar last night, so presumably I left with them on my head.

Both cab companies in town have been called repeatedly, but so far no eyeglasses turned in.

Did you check your pockets?

Of course. 800 times.

The Jestermobile?

I rode a bike downtown so that I would not even have the chance to make a bad judgment call. And I have been in the J-car several times since then, and have not seen my glasses. Though to be fair, I wasn't looking for them. But I'm pretty sure I would have noticed them.

Your friends' vehicles?

All my friends that I've talked to claim to have left me by the bar previous to the one I was last seen at. No one claims to have driven me home, or have my glasses.

In a random shoe?

Noooo....but since we had to tear apart the living room the other morning to get ready for the carpet guy that never came, and that included moving the shoe rack with all our shoes.....no.

Refrigerator?

Didn't look specifically for my glasses in there, but have been in and out of it a thousand times, especially since I'm cooking my chili today. No glasses. Freezer either.

Well, there goes my theory...I thought perhaps some young lovely was walking around town wearing your glasses as a trophy...

Certainly a possibility, though it was not from seducing me into her bed.

These facts remain: I had them at the P. I did not have them when I woke up on my couch. I do not remember being at the P, nor anything between the P and home. Who KNOWS where I was between the two places. But somewhere out there, in some condition, are my glasses.

What a fuck up.

[Becks]

You need better handlers/friends and old lady glasses chains.

[Jester]

You need better handlers/friends and old lady glasses chains.

Yes. And HELL no.

[Becks]

When your glasses make an appearance, I expect a text.