Straight people in gay nightclubs?

[ShinyGreenApple]

Just an odd question here, but I have to ask. A couple good friends of mine from work really want me to come with the, to a large and popular gay night club this weekend. One of them is lesbian and the other is bi, but she's married to a man. They said it's not a problem but I dunno, is it odd to see heterosexuals in gay clubs?

[surreal20]

not really. You get to go for the talks and drinks rather than the shows or to get hit on.

A good friend of mine went to a man's gay bar to drink with a few females. She had friends who worked there (ie. drag, or bartending...the what not). She said she new she would always have a good time and never have to worry about un-wanted sexual hit ons.

No one will know until you say you are not gay. And even then, if you are hanging with other's, who cares. You're there to socialize with friends.

[Mishi]

No, it's not odd. As long as you're polite if/when people flirt with you and don't try to 'convert' anyone, you should be fine. I'm straight and have never had any problems while visiting other than one of my male friends being groped (then apologised to) and my husband not realising that someone was trying to flirt with him.

[Kittish]

Nope, not strange at all. I'm straight. Well, mostly. And I think gay clubs are the best ones around. Especially the ones the gay guys have staked out. Tons of fun! Just don't be alarmed if you get advances and/or offers.

[ShinyGreenApple]

Oh ok! I just don't want to offend anyone if I do get offers and they realize I'm not gay. One of the guys at work heard and he told one of my friends she'd sure as hell better pretend we're girlfriends or I'll get hit on

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Gay clubs play the best music hands down. Very fun environment if you like to go dancing. I've been to a couple, and nobody's been aggressive with me. As long as being hit on by either sex does not bother you, it shouldn't be an issue.

You don't have to explain you're not gay, all you have to do is politely decline if you're not interested, same as any other place. I mean, as a straight woman, are you interested in every straight man that hits on you? Of course not. Not every gay woman is interested in every gay woman that hits on her, either. It's not anyone's business why or why not.

Nobody's gonna check your gay card at the door. Go have fun.

[ShinyGreenApple]

Nice . . . I've just always been a fairly sheltered person, grew up in a baptist church, etc, and it's only been the past year or so that I've been letting myself go a little bit and having fun for the first time in my life. I just have no idea how to behave in these sorts of places, but the two other people going spend close to 40 hours a week with me and know what a nutcase I am, so I guess it's alright!

[Seshat]

As long as you don't behave like 'a tourist' - like Teh Gays are there for you to gawk at.

Treat people as people, and you'll be fine.

[Kara]

I go out to a gay club 4 or 5 times a month. Have been for like 5 months, because it was the only place I could think of where I could just be myself and not be judged. I go on the drag show nights, because I've become friends with all the queens and have made several gay/lesbian/bi friends as well. I see straight people there all the time. It's not a problem for anyone. You don't have to be GLBT to go to a gay bar/club.

As far as how to behave, just be yourself. I tend to be very quiet, because I don't like to talk over people and some of my friends never stop talking. But we all still have a good time and enjoy each other's company. I find it to be one of the most accepting, non-hostile, and outrageously fun places I've ever been. If none of my friends are available to chat with because they're gone that night or performing, then I just sit back and watch the show. What else can I say? It's fun, there are lots of pretty lights, and it's never boring.

Who knows, maybe someone will buy you a drink. I get that from time to time. I'm not looking for a relationship or even a casual romp with ANYONE, and I've had men and women buy me drinks (usually men). But when they want to buy me a drink it's like, "w00t, free vodka." And I thank them and I'll talk with them for a minute and kindly let them know that no, I don't have a boyfriend and am not in the market for one, but thank you. And that's that.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Shiny, I know what you mean about being sheltered. I've grown up in states like South Dakota, and the state of potatoes and gems. I didn't socialize at school like the other kids. I still am a (bit) of a recluse, preferring my evenings at home or with my gaming group/friends. I don't hit the bars often myself, and if there is such a thing as a gay bar here in CountySeat/StateCapital, then I have yet to hear about it, let alone go in. (There is a bar where gay people like to hang out, but that's just scuttlebutt from Hoss, who is of that persuasion and that is so not his name.)
My understanding is that no, it isn't strange to see heterosexual people in homosexually-oriented bars. And besides, it's not like heteros are painted blue and pink and they green or something... I don't think the 'gaydar' thing is 100 percent accurate! Just be genuine, and have fun.

[draggar]

A close family friend of ours (the person who married us) is gay and comes down to south Florida a couple of times a year. We always end up at least once at a gay bar (him, my wife, and myself). Oddly, my wife is the one who is the most uncomfortable with it (patronage at the bar was >99% men) despite it is probably one of the least judgmental and most open minded bars in the area.

We always have a good time.

[RetailMom]

When I did the nightclub thing, I went to gay clubs almost exclusively. I was there to dance and have fun, not to get hit on. If there were offers I told the ladies I was flattered, but straight. We all danced and had fun. It was great to just exist and not have to worry about the bs!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I don't hit the bars often myself, and if there is such a thing as a gay bar here in CountySeat/StateCapital, then I have yet to hear about it, let alone go in. )

The ones I know about here are either straight clubs that turn a bit "gay" during certain times or gay clubs that you have to know where they are and be a guest of a member. One is a speakeasy hidden behind an unmarked door, and populated mostly by men. Everyone is invisible in that place, it's a cool place to sit in the quiet and talk to friends. Nobody bothers anyone. The other is this crazy all night dance club full of, again, mostly men and what's awesome about that is as a woman, you can really cut loose and not be bothered. And if you're with a gay man, he can cut loose and have fun, too, and not have to worry about being dissed. I don't know if gay men have to worry about that around here in general, but it would seem that straight ones do if they're with women, as evidenced by some of the shit my husband and I have had to deal with.

So, dancing like a crazy person at four am with a tightly packed mob of shirtless, happy, harmless men is pretty freaking awesome.

Interestingly, there's a bar out here that is a straight bar that tends to gay up quite a bit at times with ladies, and I've never had any trouble being bothered in there, either. I've had way more experience being bothered by straight men than by any gay person.

[Antisocial_Worker]

Dress nicely and you might get compliments. Last summer some straight female friends came up from my boyfriend's hometown to visit him. We all went out to the local gay bar (which happens to be the biggest in the state). We were all sitting around at one of the bars when a woman approached one of the other women, stopped and did a double-take, and then said in a very deep, very male voice, "Oh, I love your top! Where did you get it?"

[tacohuman]

Gay clubs play the best music hands down. Very fun environment if you like to go dancing.

this. very much this.

i used to go to the gay clubs all the time, just because i love to dance and they always brought in the best djs.