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He slimed me.

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  • He slimed me.

    So I'm out in my in law's extremely overgrown yard spraying poison ivy with Roundup and I look down and see what I think is a large earthworm stuck to my bare leg.

    So I reach down, pull it off, see stripes and a flattened body, and think "Oh, fuck, it's a baby snake! How's it stuck to me??", and then I realize it's stuck to me because it's dripping with slime. '

    Literally. DRIPPING with slime. It's a freaking snot monster.

    So I go back to the big earth worm theory, hold it closer to my face, and move on to the "big earthworm eating a leaf" theory. Because it looks like it has a japanese fan stuck to its head. Then I realize the fan IS It's head.

    And like any passionate, science-loving, naturalist, I utter the phrase uttered by science lovers from the beginning of time: I am pretty sure I probably said that out loud.

    So I bring it into the house, of course, and the husband, predictably, flips out.

    Turns out, it was a shovel headed garden worm, or a hammer headed garden worm, Bipalium kewense. Freaking trippy looking creature. Really, very very cool. Not a cool creature to have in our environment because it's not a native and as such potentially damaging. But I am really glad I got to see on up close.

  • #2
    "That's great!! Actual, PHYSICAL contact!! Can you move??"
    "We guard the souls in heaven; we don't horse-trade them!" Samandrial in Supernatural

    RIP Plaidman.

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    • #3
      Well, I can certainly slide....

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      • #4
        I saw some of those once after a tornado went through my neighborhood when I was a kid. They were trying to get in our back door, and Mom poured salt on them. She thought they were leeches.

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        • #5
          Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
          Freaking trippy looking creature.
          He's an ugly little spud, isn't he?

          Having never seen one of those before, I'd have been running around screaming and flailing for a bit. I like weird nature, but not when it's touching me uninvited.
          "You are loved" - Plaidman.

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          • #6
            augh augh augh augh augh

            (I'm with Kara on this)
            "Is it the lie that keeps you sane? Is this the lie that keeps you sane?What is it?Can it be?Ought it to exist?"
            "...and may it be that I cleave to the ugly truth, rather than the beautiful lie..."

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            • #7
              I think it looks cool! I thought you were going to say it was a leech. I wouldn't mind seeing one of those guys in the yard.
              https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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              • #8
                The husband thought it was a leech, so while I was outside with it, he google searched it. Evidently, a LOT of people think it looks like a leech (I thought it might be a leech of some sort, too.)

                So he was able to find it fairly quickly, along in the leech pics on Google. From that, he was able to find people who actually knew what it was.

                Internet...so freaking cool.

                If I'd gotten a good look at it before I peeled it off with gloved hand thinking it was just a worm, and seen it in all it's alien life form glory, I admit I'd have probably flailed around freaking out, too. I'm not afraid of creepy crawlies, worms, or snakes, but I want to know what I'm dealing with if one is on me.

                The do not bite or pose any hazard to humans, but they can cause damage to native populations of earthworms and other small creatures. They are carnivorous.

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                • #9
                  .....

                  Kink, you are a far more calm person than me in these situations. If it was a snake, I would be ok with it but worms...HELL NO! I would have been doing the flaily thing with Kara with a lot of "GET THIS F***ING CREEPY SLIMY THING OFF OF ME!!!!"
                  The original Cookie in a multitude of cookies.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Kara View Post
                    Having never seen one of those before, I'd have been running around screaming and flailing for a bit. I like weird nature, but not when it's touching me uninvited.
                    Quoth teh_blumchenkinder View Post
                    augh augh augh augh augh

                    (I'm with Kara on this)
                    Count me in on the panicking. Just the photo is making my skin crawl.
                    "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
                    - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

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                    • #11


                      So you came and you saw, but you didn't kick it's ass?

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Kara View Post
                        He's an ugly little spud, isn't he?
                        I think he can hear you.

                        "That's the problem with nature. Something is always biting, stinging, or oozing mucus on you."
                        "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                        "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                        • #13
                          EW.

                          Seriously, I might have nightmares just from looking at it. I cannot imagine the therapy and booze needed for me to recover from touching it.
                          My sanity has been dripping out of me my whole life, today they turned on the faucet.....

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                          • #14
                            Quoth teh_blumchenkinder View Post
                            augh augh augh augh augh

                            (I'm with Kara on this)
                            Ditto that. Ick.
                            I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                            I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                            It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                            • #15
                              OK, I like snakes, and worms don't bother me...but that's kinda...weird.
                              When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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