Need Help Planning a Jersey Shore Party

[Greenday]

Apparently, word got out before I even got back here in Afghanistan that I am from the Jersey Shore. I met the new NCOs and OIC in the office and they were asking about it, fist pumping, my gold chain necklace. Then they said that I need to hold a Jersey Shore party in the office. So I'm looking for suggestions on what you guys think I should have.

I'm thinking of having a water pong tournament (Alcohol is banned out here for Americans), a flip cup tournament. I'll see if I can score some Jersey Shore at the market and have some episodes running. Definitely will be some BBQ. Gotta get some clubbing music.

I have already begun planning my outfit. I'll be wearing a collared shirt (collar popped of course), sunglasses inside, my necklace. I will be fist pumping the shit out of the place.

So yea, I'm looking for more suggestions on what I can do for the party.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

club music stations can be found online, like di.fm, and at-home radio stations, like your HomeTown, might be online as well.
Find fake tan stuff.
Have wrestling/fight tournaments.
um... I totally don't even watch JS. THANK GOD.

[blas]

Invite my ex bf to show you the best way to start a fight with someone at a bar for no reason.

On a serious note, careful of the fake tan in a can stuff. My friend and her husband were Jersey Shore people for Halloween last year, and they looked orange. And for a couple of weeks afterward, had patchy, nasty orange flakey skin.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I think the whole point is to look orange, if anything I've seen regarding that show is accurate at all.

From my perspective, the goal seems to appear as orange and douchy as possible.

I don't watch it, but it's pretty impossible to not know about it. If for no other reason that the fact that my family is from that area.

Yeah. I have lived in SC since I was six. But half of my family is from the "Shore" area. Jersey Girl marries Southen Boy. Straight out of a romance novel.

Since that show came out, I quit trying so hard to suppress my southern accent. I'm just sayin'.

[blas]

They aren't orange, that's just your TV, lol. It's just going tanning so often that your skin turns very bronze.

My friend and her husband supposedly bought this super high end self tan lotion that body builders use to look darker for competitions and whatnot, and all I have to say is, if that stuff is what the pros use, they look like shit. Or my friend and her bf really have no idea how to use it. It looked BAD.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Yeah, you definitely want to go the Oompa-Loompa on Steroids route as far as tanning.

And spike up your hair with an obscene amount of hair gel so it looks like the Deepwater Horizon leaked onto your head. Also think up a cheesy nickname for yourself.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I should be able to help you come up with ideas for such a thing. I happy to say I cannot.

[Jester]

Checklist for this party:

Bad wardrobe.
Too much hair gel.
Overdone Jersey "paison" accent.
Wife beater/popped collar shirt.
Stupid shades.
Self-important and/or moronic nickname.
Shrunken testicles.
Misogynistic outlook.
Zero semblance of sexual morals.
Repulsive social skills.
Douchebag attitude.

[Greenday]

Should be able to cover most of those, Jester. Except for the hair gel thing since I have more hair than most guys in the office and my head is buzzed...and the shrunken testicles. I can't pull that one off either.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

... .________. Are you Army or Marines? ... 'cuz either way, I'd be afraid of hitting on the chicks. They tend to be fierce.
try for wigs!

[Greenday]

... .________. Are you Army or Marines? ... 'cuz either way, I'd be afraid of hitting on the chicks. They tend to be fierce.
try for wigs!

I'm a contractor. It's mostly Army and Air Force on my base. My office is all Army. But women in fatigues carrying rifles is pretty hot tbh.