Angry Roommate Rant!

[Diablo]

I hate my fucking roommate. I've been living with the dude for the last three years so arguably its not like its the worst situation I have ever been in...but my god he is on my last nerve.

He honestly has a some nice qualities. He is a clean freak and very responsible. We have never had a fight about bills or cleaning at all. But he has some really...REALLY annoying qualities. He is a power hog. Right now it is 78 degrees outside yet my roommate is running our AC at 72F...why I don't know. He has been going to the same school that I have, except he is working on a Masters while I am working on an undergraduate degree. Since he doesn't work, he basically watches TV about 14 hours a day. I wish that was me embellishing it...but I don't think I am. I pay half for cable and other than the rare NFL game, I don't get to watch any TV at all. If he is actually away from the TV, he is sitting on his computer. You would think I could watch TV then, but no, he usually has the Tivo programed to record multiple programs at once. I'm not kidding...he records every single Sci-fi movie that channel makes, no matter how insanely bad it is. So basically I find myself regularly torrenting content that I already paid for.

It wouldn't be too bad except I learned very early on that I cannot have people over at all. Once my roommate is done for the day (meaning he does not plan to leave the apartment) he sits around in a scuzzy T-shirt and gym shorts. This can occur as early as 11am. Then he just parks himself in front of the TV. So needless to say, I tried to have a party in which a fat lout in his underwear sat in front of a TV, watching a shitty movie, complaining that people were talking or walking in front of his view. That and he creepily hit on every female that showed up, while at the same time not removing his gaze from the idiot box.

But since I never again force individuals to share the same space with him, its been relatively nice. That is until about a week ago when I get a call from the front office wondering why me and my roommate are breaking our lease three months early. Needless to say, I was shocked by this news as well.

Turns out that my fat slob of a roommate is leaving school three classes short of his Masters. I sure wasn't expecting him to do that and I sure as shit expected to be at least conferred with. Turns out that he thinks he is getting a job two hours away. His big plan is for me to move there with him, he gets a fix-er upper, and I just pay him rent and utilities. So basically I put up with the same crap now, add in a TWO hour drive to class and work, and I get to pay off this tool's mortgage.

Well when he told me this plan, I couldn't hide it, and just laughed in his face. Thanks to him waiting till about a week prior to school, I can't find a new roommate so I am moving into a shit hole by myself rather than rush into an arrangement that I may regret. But since I am not willing to move in with him, the fat slob is now being a prissy little bitch about everything. Now he can't stand my smoking, even though I smoke outside, across the parking lot next to the dumpster (I only smoke about 3 cigs a day). The funny thing is the slob is a 2 pack a day smoker, and he smokes right on our patio. He offers the advice that I spend to much money on smokes (the entire time I have lived with him, I am the only one that has had regular work). He keeps offering to give me stuff that I, nor anyone with a functioning brain would not want. For example, he has a big screen HD TV that barely works (its one of those old tube models). The damn thing weighs a ton and doesn't actually work. Ever since he got a massive flat screen, that damn thing has sat in our living room for months. Now he wants to offer it to me for $200 since I don't have one. Yeah...no thanks seeing as I don't watch TV and I don't want an anchor. He has done the same for a broken futon and a vacuum cleaner even though I already have one. Basically he expects me to take away all his junk he doesn't want.

Oh and the best thing....his credit sucks. He isn't getting a house anytime soon and he still doesn't know if he got the job he thinks he did. He'll be living with his parents before he every gets his own place, seeing as he burned the only bridge he has a roommate.

Also, he wants to "borrow" my pick up truck...which means I have to load it up and drive for him as he can't use a stick shift. He can shove it...

[Victory Sabre]

Before I got to the part about him moving, I was going to suggest that you try to talk to him. With him moving that's not an option. My best advice is to do whatever you can to try to get a new roomie.

[Sapphire Silk]

Look at the bright side.

You are about to jettison some flotsam.

[Jester]

Do not help him. Do not "loan" him your pickup truck (or your help in moving him out) in any way. If you can, find a new roommate. Better than breaking a lease, right?

On the bright side, you're rid of him.

Frankly, I would tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine. He's a douchebag.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Why can't you just stay in your apartment you already live in? Rent too much for one person?

[Seshat]

You can stop paying the cable, and pay less for utilities. You may be able to stay in the apartment while finding another roomie - if you choose.

[Akasa]

He was given 3 weeks notice. That's not enough time to find a new roomy and vet them out.

[taxguykarl]

Turns out that he thinks he is getting a job two hours away.

Note he thinks he has a job lined up. If I got a buck for each time I thought that(with good reason, mind you), I would have gotten a PhD as the cash would have easily been there.

Thanks to him waiting till about a week prior to school, I can't find a new roommate so I am moving into a shit hole by myself rather than rush into an arrangement that I may regret.

That almost sounds like an improvement over your present situation.

Oh and the best thing....his credit sucks. He isn't getting a house anytime soon and he still doesn't know if he got the job he thinks he did.

I see, so why does he believe he'll get a mortgage? Mrs. TGK & I just did a re-fi and we had to jump through almost as many hoops as when we got our original mortgage--faxing pay slips, bank statements, tax returns, etc. Our FICO scores are both in the 700's. The only way I can see this individual obtaining a mortgage would be if his 'rents co-signed...even then, chances are the loan underwriter will have a problem with that.

Also, he wants to "borrow" my pick up truck...which means I have to load it up and drive for him as he can't use a stick shift.

Sounds like a reasonable price to be rid of him.

[Solumina]

IANAL or anything but a lot of complexes have fees for early termination of leases, with my current complex it essentially equates to a month and a half worth of rent (no matter how far into your lease it is) so it can certainly be a substantial fee. He wants to break the lease and you did not want to so he is on his own for that fee, if your complex's policy is similar to mine that would equal his half of rent for three months. Would there be any way that you could convince him to, instead of paying that fee, use that money to cover rent long enough to give you a reasonable chance to find a new roommate?

[Diablo]

I sat him down and basically have forced him to agree with staying until the end of our lease. Needless to say, our property manager is not to keen on the fact that my roommate keep me out of the loop.

Getting another roommate is very difficult in my situation. Both my roommate and I were going to college on the GI Bill, meaning we both had more funds for living arrangements than the typical college student. So really, I've been living in a very nice place, well above what the usual college student would be willing to pay.

Furthermore, I am an old fart at the age of 30. I fully admit that I have no patience to live the typical college lifestyle (say two or more people sharing a bathroom). I did that for far too many years in the military. Plus, I have a parrot. I tend to flip out when some kid tries to mess with it or invades my or the birds space.

Actually, the bird has been a pretty big issue with the apartment search. At least in my college town, a lot of places don't want to deal with animals at all.

Per the cable, I had to admit I use a LOT of internet bandwidth. I just get annoyed when my roommate pretty much rots on the couch for days on end, then gives me shit when I don't invite him to go to parties with me and the like. Pretty much every time I have introduced him to people, he creeps them out.

This isn't to say he is really that bad of a guy. He is really responsible with money (at least paying for rent and the like) and he keeps his stuff clean. I guess I am most surprise that it seems to me that he hasn't thought any of this stuff through at all and I am sort of stuck with the consequences. Talking about stuff like this makes him just shut down and its like talking to a brick wall, especially when he won't turn off the GODDAMN TV!

Oh well...I already got a new place lined up. It don't have AC, its in the shitty part of town, and pretty much there are ZERO amenities, but they don't give a crap about my parrot and it won't really cost me that much more than where I am now.

I kind of feel bad how all this went down because we got along for 3 years and despite his little annoying qualities, he has been by far one of the best roommates I have ever had (I got some REAL horror stories, such as the squatter that moved in during one of my deployments).

Oh well...one more year of school and chances are I am not even going to live in this state anymore.