I really need to vent (language)

[notlovinit]

Ok, this might not make any sense or be coherent, but I'm really upset and frustrated today and I need to vent.
Things that have gone wrong today:
1. I was exiting a parking lot and so obviously I need to go over the sidewalk portion to get into traffic. I do this and then see a car coming that I didn't notice before so I stopped. At this moment, a bicycle (riding on the sidewalk) comes and has to go behind me as I am blocking the sidewalk. As he goes by he decides to yell at me (loud enough I could hear through my closed windows and over music) "Why are you on the fucking sidewalk? Fucking BITCH!" which super pisses me off because he shouldn't be riding his bicycle on the sidewalk either. So I rolled down my window and shouted "Fuck you cunt!" and drove off. I know I shouldn't have but it made me feel better to say something back because usually at work I have to be like "I'm sorry, want free food?"
2. I get home and my friend that lives here asks for a ride to school. I have kind of a weird situation because I live with my parents and this friend that I've had since high school lives here too. My parents sort of adopted him because his parents gave up. But since then he is 23 and lives here, no job, doesn't pay rent, doesn't pay anything, and my parents recently paid tuition for him to go to school. He asks me for a ride because the bus ride would take him 2 hours. I say no, because the time he has to go to school coincides with the time I have to go to school so in order for us both to get on time to two different schools would make it so that I am driving for two hours. He gets super pissed off and me and abusive with me because I don't want to do the exact thing he doesn't want to do. Either way he'll be on the road for 2 hours.
3. My teacher in the morning recently revealed to me that he is a super pervert. I emailed him about an assignment and this is part of what he wrote back to me:
"I look forward to seeing more of you ;-) (I think you know what I mean)"
This worried me but I decided he probably didn't mean it the way it came off and that he probably just meant seeing me in class more (I had missed a few classes), so I ignored it. Then came another e-mail from him advising me of my grade and then he entered this:
"You know I like you {my name} - I've enjoyed having you in classes. I enjoy your smiling participation, and your occasionally provocative attire ;-) I would like to have you leave me with good feelings and a decent grade. "
Now I'm stuck in this class that I have to take in order to graduate feeling really awkward. I'm really confused about the provocative attire thing too because I am always in jeans and a t-shirt and sometimes a jacket when it gets cold in the building. There is nothing revealing in my clothing and now I feel weird when I get dressed in the morning about being careful what I wear.

The worst part is when I talk to my mom about these things here was her response:
To issue number one: "Well, you shouldn't have been in the sidewalk, he was right."
#2: "Just leave the room." Me "I need to use the computer in here to submit my homework." Her "Do it later."
#3: She advised me not to tell anyone about it because "Life isn't fair."



Grrrrr I'm so freaking frustrated right now. I need hugs.

[Rapscallion]

Save the emails. Report his sorry arse.

If he's stupid enough to go down the route of leaving a trail when he's acting like that, he deserves everything coming to him.

Rapscallion

[notlovinit]

I agree. I get where my mom is coming from because a couple years ago a student reported a teacher for the same thing and he got fired and there was a court case and she won and everything, BUT the entire time SHE was the one getting sandblasted. Everyone was saying it didn't really happen and she was just mad that she didn't get an A in the class, etc etc.
So I know she is just worried that could happen to me too, but it just sucks. I wish she'd be on my side for once, because the way she talks makes it sound like she doesn't care and that it's okay for people to treat me like this.

[Akasa]

Print out the emails and take them to the Dean inform the Dean that if your grades deteriorate as a result of your coming forward you will take action. Save the emails as evidence.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I would respectfully suggest to you that taking your mom's advice is going to encourage you to become as big a pushover as she is.

She's paying for a grown ass man with misplaced entitlement issues to sponge off her and badmouth her daughter in her own house.

She thinks you ought to roll over and take insult from someone who is no more in the right than you are.

And she thinks that people should quietly submit to being objectified and harassed by perverts. Perverts, I might add, who really need to be reported to the dean for suggesting that your grade might be tied into your willingness to be sexually available.

Your mom's advice sucks. She probably does think it's okay for people to treat you like this because (and I don't think I'm really going out on a limb here) it's okay for people to treat her this way. I imagine she was taught this by her parents.

She might think it's okay. However, she is mistaken. It's not okay. Not in the least.

[notlovinit]

I plan on saying something on Friday when I see my adviser next. I agree that my mom's advice sucks (as well intentioned as it might be), but I would ask that you not speak ill of her.

[Blade_Raver]

Don't let society get you down. Get down on society.

Grow a backbone and stand up for yourself.

The biker on the sidewalk's a douchebag and your response was nicely done.

The mooch living in the house is an irresponsible douchebag and needs to be responsible and GTFO or pay rent.

The teacher that's trying to bootycall you is a creepy douchebag and needs firing yesterday. Talk to a lawyer just in case the dean decides not to do the right thing and if your grade suffers for it. Keep all communication from said teacher as evidence.

[tropicsgoddess]

The biker was an ass and deserved that response you gave. As for the pervert teacher/prof, print that email or hell, forward it to the dean and report him for sexual harassment.

[MaggieTheCat]

Agree with everything everyone is saying.

Don't let the cyclist get you down. People are jerks and in most cases, not worth worrying about. You did nothing wrong in that case.

Your "friend" is not your friend so much as a mooch and a leech who is looking for a free ride for as long as he can get one. Ever stop to think about why his parents gave up on him? Do not give him anything. If you give him 1 inch he will take 10 miles. Don't give him rides, don't give him free food, don't help him unless he starts contributing in some way. You can't change what your parents do but you can at least keep him for latching on to you as well.

The teacher...is an ass and needs to be let go, right now. As stated, talk to the Dean, right now. Do not wait until the end of class or until you see your grades start to fall for no reason. It will look more like you are trying to get him in trouble for dropping your grades. Report him right now and do not back down.

As for your mother...I'm sorry, but she gives shit advice. Do not listen to her in these matters, and if she's giving you this kind of advice over these things (which are not trivial, especially the mooch friend and the perv teach) then be very wary of taking her advice in other matters as well. In all honesty, it sounds like the kind of situation (between your mom giving you very ill advice, and your "friend" being rather toxic) that you need to get out of, ASAP. Find another place to live as soon as possible.

Hugs, and kitty snuggles. And good luck.

[notlovinit]

I feel better about life today. Thanks guys for the well wishes. With the bicycle guy my only regret now is that I didn't call him a cunt muffin instead because that would have just been hilarious. He's trying to be all angry and a big man and then gets called a cunt muffin.

The situation with my friend is okay now. He apologized to me and everything is fine. We fight sometimes like brother and sister, but overall we have a good bond. I was just frustrated with him yesterday.

Nothing has happened with the teacher thing yet as I don't see my adviser until tomorrow.

As for my mom, I love her. Overall, we have a great relationship. It is just frustrating trying to go to her for advice because she ALWAYS takes the other person's side. My guess is that she doesn't want me to grow up like all the entitlement whores we have in society. I think her approach worked, because I'm not out there fighting every little thing that is slightly unfair, however it gets frustrating because I know there are things worth fighting and I wish she would have my back on these things.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I'm not saying your mom is a bad person or that she doesn't love you. But I do think she has some issues that make her believe that she is inferior to others or that she matters less or however you want to look at it. Which is sad. If she ALWAYS takes the other person's side, then clearly she doesn't believe that she could be right. Or that her being right matters. She thinks the other person matters more.

Not everything is worth fighting for. Cunt muffin on the sidewalk? Not worth it. Not because he's worth more, but because he's worth less. Douche in house? Feh. More her problem than yours. Probably not the hill to die on.

Slimebag perverted fuck trying to get into your pants? THAT is the hill to die on. Only it won't be you dying there, it will be him. End this guy. If you won't end him for yourself, end him for the next young lady.

You know your mom's got a messed of view of her self worth or you wouldn't be posting this here. Don't inherit that.

[notlovinit]

No, I don't KNOW that and neither do you. I do not wish to discuss this further. Can we please close this?