Surefire Way to Piss a Mother Off

[FuzzyKitten99]

Honestly, even though you don't WANT to go to the media, what you want to do is make them think that the most well-known station is on your speed-dial and you could make a call any time. Not necessarily threaten it directly (because it could be considered blackmail), but hint that the media would have a field day and they can investigate deeper and it will be out in public, etc. This may get the teacher to open up to you (or others/authorities). Either way, you want details. Kind of the "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way, your choice."

Like I said, don't actually THREATEN, but subtle hints should do nicely.

[Seshat]

Whatever you decide to do, know that we care and we'll back you.

The most important person for you to care for, of course, is your little girl. Next is the rest of your family.

Yes, I am among those worried about what's happening to the boy: hopefully reporting this incident to the police, perhaps child services, will get them investigating the boy's family and sorting something out there.

I also worry a bit about the other children the boy has done this to: did they just have parents who crumbled under the school's inaction?

[crazylegs]

I also worry a bit about the other children the boy has done this to: did they just have parents who crumbled under the school's inaction?

I'm guessing that with the schools lack of reporting the other parents don't even know...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

This is why I try to become friends with other parents. You cannot underestimate the value of the parent grapevine.

I try to go to as many birthday parties as I can manage. My friends are all like "Again? Aren't you sick of all that?" Well, yeah, kind of. But you have to nuture those relationships because you need to know what's going on with other kids in the class. It's not just a birthday party. It's communication.

I found out about a habitual groper last month. I found out who the class bully is last week. All from other moms.

[Seraph]

I'm going to try and meet other parents....kinda difficult as I don't drive, and frankly, I'm almost always the odd sheep out. Always. I just don't....fit in. -.-

Haven't been able to discuss anything with the principal this week....strep took my voice and I haven't been able to talk in a couple of days.

Very good news though, my daughter has adjusted amazingly well, we had one small incident where she brought it up momentarily, and then said "hm, that's not a good thing" and then hasn't spoke about it since. So obviously, she might still remember some of it, but it's not affecting her terribly.

Soon as I regain speaking ability, going to find out what's been going on with the investigation.

[Flying Grype]

Re: taking it to the superintendent and schoolboard: nah. They'll be as shifty as everyone else in the coverup. The cops are your most likely chance to be unaffected by the politics and whatever is making everyone else want to protect this family.

I'm so sorry to hear this but I'm not shocked. This is what most school people do in out-of-the-ordinary situations, in my experience. They run around like squawking and do every. little. thing. wrong. until the whole thing is unsalvageable and the kids can't be helped. I'm sure they're good people individually but when it's the school environment they just stuff it up.

[spark]

Just discovering this thread. I'd say I'm shocked, but actually I'm the exact opposite of shocked. I had something almost exactly like this happen to me when I was about the same age.

Only nobody ever found out it happened, I never told anyone until I was long since an adult. I tried to bring it up obliquely with my mother once, but she was so freaked out by her six year old asking her what "sex" meant that she shut me down completely and I felt I couldn't talk to anybody about it ever. But although it gave me some slightly weird ideas as a kid, it didn't mess me up for life I sorted out all the strange ideas eventually, and I have a perfectly fine sex life now, it doesn't bother me in the least.

And that's with my mother being the exact opposite of helpful. I'm sure your daughter will come out without any harm done. Though I am VERY glad that you're pursuing this. The one thing I really, really, really wish is that the kid who did it to me had gotten help. I found out later that he'd done the same to several other girls, and was only stopped when he was a teenager... still doing freaky things to little bitty girls. I feel very sorry for him, and for everybody else he hurt, and I wish I'd known how important it was to tell somebody when I was a kid.

[Akasa]

I'm glad kidlet is doing well and what you thought happened didn't, that he only tried. I'm seconding the SVU contact.

[Kogarashi]

I only just discovered this thread myself, and am very glad to hear you're pursuing the issue. Count me among the parents who'd be on the warpath had this happened to mine. My oldest daughter is also in kindergarten, and I can only imagine how I'd react if this had happened to her.

[Seshat]

Only nobody ever found out it happened, I never told anyone until I was long since an adult. I tried to bring it up obliquely with my mother once, but she was so freaked out by her six year old asking her what "sex" meant that she shut me down completely and I felt I couldn't talk to anybody about it ever.

I talked about this thread a bit with my wife, yesterday. Mostly because it was disturbing me a bit, and I wanted her opinion. She's a lot less screwed up about sex than I am - my parents were uptight.

Anyway, the reason spark's quote is relevant:

My wife said that in a strange way, it's almost good that something like this has happened to Seraph's daughter. Note, I said almost.

She's discovered that she can say 'no'.
She's discovered that her 'no' will be backed up by the most important people in her life.
She's discovered that she can talk about anything to Seraph, and it won't interfere with her being loved and cared for.
She's been put in a nasty situation, acted assertively, and had it turn out okay. (From her point of view, anyway. Obviously, Seraph is now busy dealing with the things a 5 year old shouldn't have to - but from the child's POV, it's all turned out okay. Mum and Gran and her family are proud of her, so all is good.)

All of this will build strength and resilience that will support her through the rest of her childhood, and especially through the trying and testing period during and shortly after puberty.

[jedimaster91]

I can only imagine how I'd react if this had happened to her.

Heads would roll. Jedi doesn't get pissed off often, but you do not want to be at the receiving end when it does happen.

I hope there is a satisfying resolution to all this. And at least the kidlet is no worse for wear.

[fireheart]

Just bumping to see if there's any new developments on the situation i.e. has kid been moved?

[Seraph]

Yes, he's been moved to another class.

Unfortunately, not much else is going to be done. Since my daughter's the only witness to this (who'll admit it)....and...well, she's five....not really anything we can concretely prove. And you know? I've come to peace with that. There were six playground supervisors out that day, so we'll never know who exactly saw it. We can't prove it without a shadow of a doubt. This whole thing's been horrible, but she's learned from it. Albeit it's a lesson I wish she didn't have to go through, but now she knows to run from things like this, and that she can immediately come to me, her principal, other people, etc.

As for what's going to happen to the boy besides being moved to a different class...we won't be able to hear anything about it, of course. All I know is that they did file a report with CPS about it, and they were going to look into it.

Not exactly the hugely satisfying ending I'd like for all this, but at the same time, I'm relieved that if anything, she's okay. She's pretty much forgotten all about it. Also, the school is now on hyper-watch-mode for anything of the sort. You see, there was a recent article in the local newspaper about sexual harassment going on in schools these days, and a lot of local parents got stirred up about it. So yeah, things are going to be different now.

[XCashier]

Also, the school is now on hyper-watch-mode for anything of the sort. You see, there was a recent article in the local newspaper about sexual harassment going on in schools these days, and a lot of local parents got stirred up about it. So yeah, things are going to be different now.

Good. Bring it out in the open, have everyone on alert, and even the boy's family "connections" (if they exist) won't be able to cover it up.

I'm glad your daughter is doing okay. I hope you are too. You've been through the wringer, and neither of you deserved it.

I still hope the boy can get the help he needs before he gets worse and this won't be covered up again.

[Seshat]

This whole thing's been horrible, but she's learned from it. Albeit it's a lesson I wish she didn't have to go through, but now she knows to run from things like this, and that she can immediately come to me, her principal, other people, etc.

And THAT is a lesson which may well save her from the same - or worse - in the future. It might even save her life.