*headdesk*

[houdini]

I just scared that it will happen here and then I'll lose another support network.

You won't lose us. And Jester will do bad things to anyone who says anything mean!

I'm in a different time zone but I'm happy to be a virtual ear as well - PM me if you need to Might be useful for 3am when no one else is awake?

[Ree]

I've never had a brithday party. This year was a big one, and I had been planning something special. Then I found out when we were leaving and that I couldn't have a party. So that really upset me. I know it's probably stupid, but I've always wanted to have a party.

I can understand that one. It's not stupid at all.
Last year was a milestone for me, and with my husband also being gone, I had thought, just this once, my family would actually have a party for me.

I got upstaged by a family christening.
No party for Ree on her 50th.
So, yeah, I totally get it.

Glad your fog is lifting and you're improving even more each day.

[Jester]

And Jester will do bad things to anyone who says anything mean!

What, me? I'm a nice guy, a sweetheart, a teddy bear. I can't imagine where these rumors got started.....

[Eisa]

-cough- No idea at all. -cough-





Also the birthday thing would upset me, too. And I totally understand feeling weird that so many people are nice to you, that's how I feel too lol, but yep. Lots of people are nice here.

[Kanalah]

Safe and sound at MIL's house. Still trying to decompress from the car trip. Kids did really good in the car, we only had one tantrum and that was when we were almost done.

[AccountingDrone]

I got upstaged by a family christening.
No party for Ree on her 50th.
So, yeah, I totally get it.

I turned 50 on 10/27. My mother has alzheimers. She did not remember my birthday at all.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

*hugs AccountingDrone*

[Ree]

I turned 50 on 10/27. My mother has alzheimers. She did not remember my birthday at all.

My Mom was still alive but confused by dementia, so she didn't remember my birthday either. (She passed in April of this year.)

My family had planned a surprise party, apparently, and my oldest sister arranged her schedule to visit for it.
My nephew announced his son's christening for that same weekend, and he lives about 4 hours away, so that meant my brother, whose home was supposed to be the location, wasn't going to be around, so the party couldn't be held that weekend.
My sister couldn't rearrange her schedule, so she came to visit anyway, but they didn't bother with the party.

I was really hurt when I found out.

[RootedPhoenix]

*hugs Ree and AccountingDrone*

[BeenThereDoneThat]

That really sucks too, Ree...people are so self-centered.

[Kanalah]

Okay so MIL has been stuck in her house for months. She's lost half of her vision in one eye and doesn't feel safe to drive. You'd think she'd want to go and do stuff - she loves to shop.

But oh nooo....we just sit at home and she complains about how we don't do stuff. I'd love to go take her grocery shopping, I need to go anyways because my kids like fruit for thier stockings.

I have my sewing machine with me and I've already made 3 table runners. I am like so bored to tears it's not even funny. She doesn't even like to have the computer turned on.

And yes my son has already fallen down the stairs once. And we've thrown a tantrum the first night we tried to go out to dinner. And I really just want to go home and pet my cat and roll in fabric.

[dalesys]

... roll in fabric.

That's your inner mummy.

[KiaKat]

Are you reliant on her for transportation? What would happen if you said "<MiL>, we're headed out to see the (Xmas Light Show, Village Tree, Santa) and pick up a few last-minute things. If you would like to join us, we're going to be leaving in about a half hour. We hope you'll come, you always know (the best place to park, the stories about local history, the best route to the mall), and the kids would love sharing Christmas doings with their grandma."

Are there things you can do around the house with her? Making cookies, putting up last minute decor, wrapping gifts... anything she has difficulty with on her own, but loves doing, and would be willing to teach you or her grandkids.

[AccountingDrone]

Thanks, I was expecting it to happen. I am a realist, and I know that the slide is painful for those of us watching it happen. Makes me wish I was estranged so I didn't have to. I can understand people who abandon their elders in a care facility.

[MoonCat]

Okay so MIL has been stuck in her house for months. She's lost half of her vision in one eye and doesn't feel safe to drive. You'd think she'd want to go and do stuff - she loves to shop.

But oh nooo....we just sit at home and she complains about how we don't do stuff.

My mom used to do that. My sisters and I would got out somewhere and she'd say things like, "I wish I could go out like you girls do." So next time we'd try to get her to come along and she'd say she didn't want to.

Years later she was diagnosed with depression. So that's one possible explanation. She might also feel self-conscious about her vision problems.