Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Can someone give me some advice?

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • #1

    Can someone give me some advice?

    I've recently had my suspicions confirmed that my friend, who has a fiance, likes (and apparently has tried to kiss and gives back rubs to) another friend of mine, who I know doesn't feel the same way about him. What would be the best way to go about this? His fiance is one of my best friends, and I don't like the idea of him doing this behind her back.
    DS Andy Cartwright: Everyone and their mums is packin’ round here!
    Nicholas Angel: Like who?
    DS Andy Wainwright: Farmers.
    Nicholas Angel: Who else?
    DS Andy Cartwright: Farmers’ mums.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Well you could be the bad guy by telling her and maybe destroying the relationship.

    OR

    You could be the bad guy and do nothing about it since it's not your relationship.

    OR

    You could be the bad guy and call out the fiancee for their actions.

    OR

    You could be the bad guy and talk to the other friend of yours who, imo, should be the ONLY one to speak up against the behaviour if they really don't like it.

    Comment

    • #3
      Stay out of it and know nothing. If you do anything you will be the bad guy.

      Comment

      • #4
        I agree with the others. There are times when the best course of action is to let people make mistakes. IMO this is one of those times.

        Comment

        • #5
          Quoth Aethian View Post
          Well you could be the bad guy by telling her and maybe destroying the relationship.

          OR

          You could be the bad guy and do nothing about it since it's not your relationship.

          OR

          You could be the bad guy and call out the fiancee for their actions.

          OR

          You could be the bad guy and talk to the other friend of yours who, imo, should be the ONLY one to speak up against the behaviour if they really don't like it.
          Quoted for Truth. Though if you really feel you absolutely have to do something, that last one is probably the least of the evils.
          You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you. ~Argabarga

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth Aethian View Post
            You could be the bad guy and talk to the other friend of yours who, imo, should be the ONLY one to speak up against the behaviour if they really don't like it.
            This option here is the best of a bad situation in my opinion.
            As far as what you end up doing, if anything? Follow your conscience. Do what you think is the right thing.

            Comment

            • #7
              If you see him touching the unwilling-third-party, and she looks uncomfortable, support her in her attempts to get him to stop.

              If she isn't willing to bluntly tell him to stop, take her aside quietly and encourage her to do so. And you support her when she does.

              If he continues to try to behave that way, take HIM aside quietly and tell him he's not winning any friends here.

              I would expect that the fiance of the toucher is aware of his actions, even if she isn't 'allowing' herself to be.
              Seshat's self-help guide:
              1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
              2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
              3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
              4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

              "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

              Comment

              • #8
                I'd do what I'd want one of my friends to do: tell me. Personally, I don't give a crap what the cheater thinks since they are a P.O.S. anyway. I care about my friends and none of my friends deserves to be with someone who cheats on them and doesn't think they are good enough.

                Though I'd only do it if I actually knew for a fact it was happening.

                If I had a friend who knew my fiance was cheating on me and didn't tell me, that friend wouldn't be a friend anymore. Friends watch their friend's back.
                "I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone, that someone is probably the last person you should ask." - House

                Comment

                • #9
                  I have to agree with Greenday. I'd really prefer to be told about something like that.
                  By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

                  "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    There is an important and, as yet, unanswered question here. To wit, which of the couple is your better friend? The would-be cheater, or the one who is blissfully unaware of the would-be cheaters actions?

                    If the one you hold closest to your heart is the would-be cheater, you should either shut your mouth and let it play out, or pull said would-be cheater aside and confront them with the utter bullshit they are pulling.

                    If the one you hold closest is the unaware fiance, or they are both as close to you, then once again you must confront the would-be cheater, but with a different tact....ask them what the hell they are thinking, what the hell they are doing, and why the hell they are engaged to their fiance if they have no issue with going after other people.

                    Or....ignore the whole thing and hope it blows away, or just ignore the results completely.

                    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is                     Still A Customer."

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth Jester View Post
                      There is an important and, as yet, unanswered question here. To wit, which of the couple is your better friend? The would-be cheater, or the one who is blissfully unaware of the would-be cheaters actions?
                      The OP described the would-be cheater as a friend and the would be cheater's fiance as a best friend. That's what I based it off of.
                      "I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone, that someone is probably the last person you should ask." - House

                      Comment

                      Previous template Next
                      Working...
                      X