Tweet
Bought some blood oranges recently, and went to peel one while I was watching the nephew. He's one. He saw me peeling it and got all happy cause he wanted some, dancing and saying apple over and over (all fruit is apple to him right now). Offered him a segment and his eyes got big, this horrified look on his face and backed clear across the kitchen. It was purple, not the color he was expecting. He did take some after some coaxing though.
-
You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you. ~Argabarga -
Well at least he didn't say "you look <something inappropriate!"Quoth AnaKhouri View Post
The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom
Now queen of USSR-Land...Comment
-
PaperBoy likes to pick out my jewelry in the morning, and then pull me into whatever room DH is in to show off "how pretty mommy looks".Quoth AnaKhouri View Post
The other day he asked me to wear a shirt that would look good with a particular necklace and earrings. I therefore put on a shirt I have often worn with that set, and added the jewelry. PaperBoy looked at me and said, "Why did you pick that shirt? I don't think we're going to go show you to Daddy this morning..."Comment
-
What a cutie!Quoth paperfiend View Post
The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom
Now queen of USSR-Land...Comment
-
Khan starts yelling the same phrase over and over. We've had a talk recently about how irritating it is when he repeats himself.
Me: "Khan! What did we just talk about?"
Khan: "Not doing cannibalism?"
Me: 'That too..."Comment
-
My little girl is 10 months now and her new favorite way of playing with toys is to grab them with both hands and hold them on top of her head, then squeal about how proud she is of herself.The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.
You would have to be incredibly dense for the world to revolve around you.Comment
-
One I spotted from TV tonight on Gogglebox (look it up, it's the Aussie version).
One of the families on the show had a little boy about 7 or 8. They were watching the 30th year anniversary of neighbours and the scene in question was of two of the "establishing" characters kissing.
Boy: hey mum, did you kiss him at your wedding?
Mum: your dad?
Boy: yeah
Mum: yeah of course!
Boy: eww *makes retching sounds*The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom
Now queen of USSR-Land...Comment
-
Yesterday Khan said he was 'fired' from being teacher's assistant. It turns out the teacher simply ran out of things for him to do, he didn't do anything wrong.
I told him he wasn't fired...he was laid off.Comment
-
Tell him to ask for his redundancy payment
The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.Comment
-
The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom
Now queen of USSR-Land...Comment
-
I'm surprised he didn't ask when he was laid ... on.Quoth AnaKhouri View PostI am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.Comment
-
This came from another lady who I worked with for the last 2 days. Nice lady, who like me, also trained in childcare and has changed careers. She was working with a younger age group though.
One of her kids came in for show and tell one day and said that he was going to show some balloons he found in mummy's drawer.
She (knowing exactly where this is going) tries to prompt the kid further to find out what he actually had.
Kid proceeds to pull out about half a dozen condoms and proudly explains that he pulled one of them off of the packet in his room, opened it and tried to inflate it.
She then decides that now is a good time for picking a story to look at and sends the kids off to the book corner while her colleagues in the next room are absolutely losing it
The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom
Now queen of USSR-Land...Comment
-
Khan started writing fables. My favorite is called 'The Ant in Love".
Once an ant was walking across a field when he saw a ladybug and became in love. He got some corn and was returning with the other ants when he saw the same ladybug. He went to kiss her but the corn was too heavy and he dropped it and they both got squished.
Moral :Sometimes love makes you do dumb things.
The illustration shows a yellow corn cob with insect legs sticking out from underneath it.Comment
-
What a cutie! I love that oneQuoth AnaKhouri View Post
The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom
Now queen of USSR-Land...Comment
-
The Colorblind Fox and the Grapes
(for some reason it didn't occur to me to point out to him that all foxes- and most other animals- are inherently colorblind)
A fox saw some grapes. He was hungry and he thought they were blue, but he was colorblind and they were really green. He ate some and said, "Yuck! Those grapes were sour. I thought they were blue."
Moral: If you're colorblind, don't believe everything you see.Comment
Comment