Slang and catch phrases -- what are yours?

[Kara]

Let's see....

Anyone who's read my stories in Sucky Customers (I miss having stories) knows a lot of my varients of asshat: assbeast, assgoblin, asslord, assqueen, and the infamous Captian Assbeard.


My bestie is from Alabama, thanks to her I now say "yall" pretty frequently.

Due to my job, I use some radio codes in regular conversation, usually 10-4 because that's one everyone knows. But I also say "10-22" (disregard) and "10-9" (repeat that).

And Lupo taught me to use "mew?" when I'm confused about something. And "mew!" when frustrated.

Most of my lil sayings have already been mentioned.

[chrislb]

Whenever someone says God in my presence I usually say in the creepiest way possible "There is no God here" like that vampire in 30 days of night.
When things are going pretty bad I will say assteriffic or asstacular.
I also measure things by fucktons.
I don't usually say meh instead I say poop in the same tone.
If I like you I will probably call you pookie at some point, that or chubbers. Both names of kittens that I have been lucky to love.
I also use dattebayo and the nice guy thumbs up when being sarcastic.

[Zellie Crescent]

I call people booger as an insult, I say it the same way as asshole or shithead.

[dragon_wings]

Instead of 'maybe' I tend to say 'perhaps'.
And as an affirmative (instead of 'yes'/'yeah'/etc.) I use 'indeed'.

[taurinejunkie]

dragon_wings: Classy!

Sometimes when I read what my customers write, I mutter to myself: "English, mother *mumble* do you speak it?"

[dragon_wings]

@tj: *curtsies* ^_^

[Primer]

As a teacher, I've had to revise some of my language.

Bless it!
Fudgecicles!
Triple thick fudgecicles!
Shastikovitch!

are all epithets.

That inhales with great velocity! (that sucks hard)

When driving, if somebody does something to endanger me, then they are a f*ckwad, otherwise, just an idiot or an asshole. If somebody passes me, seriously exceeding the speed limit, it's "Buh Bye."

All of my dogs are "<name>-butt" or just "doggy-butt"

When somebody asks how I'm doing, "I'm doing. Somehow." or "I was doing better, but then I got over it."

[FuzzyKitten99]

I also quote HP for various things/situations.

Other phrases you might hear from me:
*Frick! - Elliot from Scrubs used to say this all the time. Nice for saying around kids.
*Genius at work! - for those who are nominated, should be nominated, or have/will win a Darwin Award, or a general warning to those around them
*If only common sense could be made into a rufie. - I made this one up
*You can throw glitter on a turd but it won't turn it into a diamond - describing various situations accordingly
*Is there an echo in here? -for when someone repeats my question as part of their answer.
*Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em.
*Fargin' Sneaky Bastages!
*Fuckin' Fucker(s) - one of my regular customers says this all the time so now I seem to say it
*Smoke 'em if you got 'em!!

I am sure I have more that I am just not thinking about right now...

[Bella_Vixen]

Becks almost died laughing the other day when I screamed "what the diddly?!?" (instead of wtf) at some jerk when we were driving into GB.

[MoonCat]

At home we sometimes use "Cheese and crackers got all muddy!!" instead of Jesus Christ God Almight...

Or "Seneca Bridge!" instead of son of a bitch...

[ApolloSZ]

"How are you let out unsupervised?!" usually exclaimed after a particularly..... taxing... phonecall from one of those users...

[Chazzie]

Bollocks! = Originally started as my 'safe word' at work, now I just use it whenever something goes wrong. It's actually quite therapeutic.
What is this I don't even-- = Popular internet meme to express total utter confusion over something. Sometimes replaced with "I only sometimes even-"
Shark Week = How I describe my monthy visitor. Sometimes this is replaced with "Raising the Communist flag for the week".
Lamebuckets = I have no idea when I started saying this, but rather self explanatory. Just to describe that something is lame.
I don't know how to deal with (*)! = Something from Soul Eater. Usually suffixed with something completely ridiculous and random in terms of gaming, such as "I don't know how to deal with zombies' heads popping off! I don't know how to deal with running out of ammo!"

[firecat88]

Just thought of a few more of my -isms.

"What the crap/frell/frack?"

"But...but...but...ehn!!!"

"Sweet flying crapsicles (on a stick)!" - This one largely depends on the context. Usually a good thing and followed by "That was awesome."

"Oh em squee!" or 'Ohmysquee'

"Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahno. Thought about it, aaaaaaaaaand no."

"I will now sing the 'My Computer Is A Piece o' Crap' song."

I also tend to grab quotes from things I like. Examples:

When asked how I slept, I will, depending on the person, reply "On my back." Which, in my case, comes from the movie Newsies.

"Right. I'm gonna go...away from you." from an episode of Young Hercules, used when a friend has said something so brain-breaking that the only option is to go 'over there'.

"And for my next trick- Anvils!" Anyone familiar with Dresden Files will know this one.

[Kristev]

Fiddlesticks.

Well, that's what I get for trying to . . .

Story of my life.

Why am I not surprised?

Oh my.

Slap two dogs with one claw.

[HappyFun Ball]

Fuckweasle- One who manipulates for sex
Butthurt- Unjust offended feeling
Ah, Goddamnit- frustrated cry
Trichomonasis- A why of insulting someone with a medical term
Life neutral- That point in life where you're not suicidal, but you aren't going to take great measure to save your life.