After promising my mother for years I would do this, and conversely putting it off for years, I finally went in and got a physical. I am 41, and my father did die at 48, so it seemed like something I should do. And since I have been successfully saving money for a year now, I couldn't say I couldn't afford it. (Though I really wish I had some kind of health insurance, as I would much rather have had them pay for all this crap. Note to self: get thee some health insurance.)
So on Monday, 31 years to the day after my father died, since I had taken the day off for that anniversary, I went in to see Doc Mike. Told him about my concerns relating to my father, who died of a potentially hereditary kidney disease, and asked him to do a full workup on me. So we did a few things.
First, the general checkup.
Pulse: great.
Blood sugar: great.
Heart: great.
Blood pressure: great. A welcome surprise to me, since Dad had high blood pressure. Mine was ridiculously perfect.
Reflexes: great.
We then did an EKG: Also perfect.
The following day, after fasting the prescribed amount of time, I went in before work and had them draw blood.
Wednesday, I went in for the results.
Kidneys, one of my biggest concerns: in the words of Doc Mike, "obnoxiously healthy." The creatinine levels, which can be an indicator of kidney issues, were right where they were supposed to be.
No strange or terminal diseases detected, though Doc Mike did say that there weren't really any effective general screens for cancers, if there were not yet any symptoms. (There aren't.) I had a small concern about this because cancer has affected some of my extended family, though never really made it into my branch of the family.
Shock of the day to those who know me and my drinking habits: my liver, again in the words of the doctor, is "obnoxiously healthy." My first thought was, "I have a liver?" My second thought was, "I have a healthy liver?" My third thought was, "Of course I have a healthy liver...it gets a hell of a workout!" Probably the Mr. Universe of livers!
And so it went, on down the list, healthy, obnoxiously healthy, ridiculously healthy, and so on.
Until.
Until we got to cholesterol.
Now, apparently my bad cholesterol is slightly high. That was not the real issue. The real issue that my good cholesterol is ridiculously low. Which makes the total ratio WAY out of whack, according to the good doctor.
At which point he then sat me down and told me what I would not be eating any more. Didn't suggest this, mind you, but TOLD me. No more eggs. No more milk. No more bacon. No avocados. No more fatty dressings. Much less cheese. No more buffalo wings. A lot less alcohol. And so on, and so forth. And that I needed to start taking fish oil pills.
And I sat there and nodded. And internally told the good doctor to go take a flying leap.
Now, I am not questioning Doc Mike's competence. He is an excellent doctor. And chances are good that he is very correct about this. But from previous conversations with him years ago, I know that it is very hard, almost impossible, to raise good cholesterol. And that the only way to attack my out-of-whack cholesterol ratio is to bring the slightly high bad cholesterol level WAY down. Which may or MAY NOT do the trick.
(NOTE: Can anyone here direct me to a website that explains in relatively plain English the whole cholesterol ratio thing? Just wondering.)
Here's the thing. At some point you have to decide for oneself how you are going to live your life. There is that whole quality of life thing. I am a foodie. I love food. I am not addicted to food, nor do I have a food problem. But I do love good food, and to implement the things Doc Mike was suggesting would not only be very difficult, but would PISS ME OFF.
A quick digression: when discussing bacon, which as we all know makes everything better, a young doctor that Doc Mike was helping train made a comment along the lines that it would be better if I started eating kosher as my religion teaches. I QUICKLY corrected the young doctor that it is the religion of my ANCESTORS, not me. I was born Jewish...I do not follow the religion one bit, foodwise or otherwise. Dude pissed me off. Just because I have a Jewish name, do not assume that I keep kosher or ever have. Hell, I do not remember a time in my life that my family wasn't eating bacon. My parents never kept kosher once they were out on their own.
Okay, enough of that digression. Where was I?
Oh, yes. Quality of life. Here's the deal....Doc Mike is probably right. And chances are good that if I don't change things, I very well could, as he predicted have a heart attack by the time I'm 51, i.e., ten years from now. I find it weird that, with such a whacked out cholesterol level, I still have such awesome blood pressure. Isn't the deal with cholesterol that it clogs your arteries? Mine seem to be working just fine. Beyond that, though, I know I probably need to make some changes. I need to eat somewhat less of some of the fatty foods I eat. But the thing is, I ALREADY probably eat healthier than most of my friends. I eat a shit ton of salads, a shit ton of fish (both recommended by the good doctor), I can't stand avocados (which he said was a big no no), but to TELL me I no longer eat bacon? To TELL me I now only drink skim milk? I don't drink a lot of milk to begin with, but when I do, I find skim milk utterly repulsive. Puke. I don't deal with ultimatums well, and I don't like people telling me what I am going to do, informed and educated or not. As a doctor, he can advise me of what HE thinks I SHOULD do. But no one, and I mean NO ONE, tells me what to do. I am an adult, and I make my own decisions, knowing full well what the potential ramifications and repercussions may be.
Look, I will change my diet somewhat. But to eliminate these things altogether is simply Not Going To Happen.
"But Jester, you could DIE." Newsflash, kids: I WILL die. We all WILL die. The number one most deadly disease in the world, with a 100% mortality rate, is life. No one survives it. There is no alternative ending.
So yes, I will die. We all will. The question is, how will we live our lives before that time comes? Me, I plan on enjoying it, as I always have. Since my father died when I was a wee lad of ten years old, I have made a point of living life to the fullest, of enjoying what life offers me. I eat healthy not because I feel I need to so much as a lot of what I enjoy eating IS healthy. Some of it isn't. C'est la vie.
I don't have any children that are dependent on me. And yes, if I check out early, certainly many people will miss me. Maybe not as many as I would hope--and certainly there will be people who will welcome the news--but as much as we in the American society try to avoid the subject completely, death is a very integral part of life. Who knows? Maybe Doc Mike is wrong, and I'll live like my mom, well into my seventies. (Mom's 76 and still going strong.) Maybe I won't. Maybe while I am stressing over the foods I eat, a tour bus full of geriatric tourists from Oshkosh runs me over. Who knows?
So, yeah....in all ways but one, I am apparently the very picture of a healthy 41 year old man. And that one way...well, no one's perfect. Least of all me.
So yeah, I'm gonna die. Who's got the next beer?
So on Monday, 31 years to the day after my father died, since I had taken the day off for that anniversary, I went in to see Doc Mike. Told him about my concerns relating to my father, who died of a potentially hereditary kidney disease, and asked him to do a full workup on me. So we did a few things.
First, the general checkup.
Pulse: great.
Blood sugar: great.
Heart: great.
Blood pressure: great. A welcome surprise to me, since Dad had high blood pressure. Mine was ridiculously perfect.
Reflexes: great.
We then did an EKG: Also perfect.
The following day, after fasting the prescribed amount of time, I went in before work and had them draw blood.
Wednesday, I went in for the results.
Kidneys, one of my biggest concerns: in the words of Doc Mike, "obnoxiously healthy." The creatinine levels, which can be an indicator of kidney issues, were right where they were supposed to be.
No strange or terminal diseases detected, though Doc Mike did say that there weren't really any effective general screens for cancers, if there were not yet any symptoms. (There aren't.) I had a small concern about this because cancer has affected some of my extended family, though never really made it into my branch of the family.
Shock of the day to those who know me and my drinking habits: my liver, again in the words of the doctor, is "obnoxiously healthy." My first thought was, "I have a liver?" My second thought was, "I have a healthy liver?" My third thought was, "Of course I have a healthy liver...it gets a hell of a workout!" Probably the Mr. Universe of livers!
And so it went, on down the list, healthy, obnoxiously healthy, ridiculously healthy, and so on.
Until.
Until we got to cholesterol.
Now, apparently my bad cholesterol is slightly high. That was not the real issue. The real issue that my good cholesterol is ridiculously low. Which makes the total ratio WAY out of whack, according to the good doctor.
At which point he then sat me down and told me what I would not be eating any more. Didn't suggest this, mind you, but TOLD me. No more eggs. No more milk. No more bacon. No avocados. No more fatty dressings. Much less cheese. No more buffalo wings. A lot less alcohol. And so on, and so forth. And that I needed to start taking fish oil pills.
And I sat there and nodded. And internally told the good doctor to go take a flying leap.
Now, I am not questioning Doc Mike's competence. He is an excellent doctor. And chances are good that he is very correct about this. But from previous conversations with him years ago, I know that it is very hard, almost impossible, to raise good cholesterol. And that the only way to attack my out-of-whack cholesterol ratio is to bring the slightly high bad cholesterol level WAY down. Which may or MAY NOT do the trick.
(NOTE: Can anyone here direct me to a website that explains in relatively plain English the whole cholesterol ratio thing? Just wondering.)
Here's the thing. At some point you have to decide for oneself how you are going to live your life. There is that whole quality of life thing. I am a foodie. I love food. I am not addicted to food, nor do I have a food problem. But I do love good food, and to implement the things Doc Mike was suggesting would not only be very difficult, but would PISS ME OFF.
A quick digression: when discussing bacon, which as we all know makes everything better, a young doctor that Doc Mike was helping train made a comment along the lines that it would be better if I started eating kosher as my religion teaches. I QUICKLY corrected the young doctor that it is the religion of my ANCESTORS, not me. I was born Jewish...I do not follow the religion one bit, foodwise or otherwise. Dude pissed me off. Just because I have a Jewish name, do not assume that I keep kosher or ever have. Hell, I do not remember a time in my life that my family wasn't eating bacon. My parents never kept kosher once they were out on their own.
Okay, enough of that digression. Where was I?
Oh, yes. Quality of life. Here's the deal....Doc Mike is probably right. And chances are good that if I don't change things, I very well could, as he predicted have a heart attack by the time I'm 51, i.e., ten years from now. I find it weird that, with such a whacked out cholesterol level, I still have such awesome blood pressure. Isn't the deal with cholesterol that it clogs your arteries? Mine seem to be working just fine. Beyond that, though, I know I probably need to make some changes. I need to eat somewhat less of some of the fatty foods I eat. But the thing is, I ALREADY probably eat healthier than most of my friends. I eat a shit ton of salads, a shit ton of fish (both recommended by the good doctor), I can't stand avocados (which he said was a big no no), but to TELL me I no longer eat bacon? To TELL me I now only drink skim milk? I don't drink a lot of milk to begin with, but when I do, I find skim milk utterly repulsive. Puke. I don't deal with ultimatums well, and I don't like people telling me what I am going to do, informed and educated or not. As a doctor, he can advise me of what HE thinks I SHOULD do. But no one, and I mean NO ONE, tells me what to do. I am an adult, and I make my own decisions, knowing full well what the potential ramifications and repercussions may be.
Look, I will change my diet somewhat. But to eliminate these things altogether is simply Not Going To Happen.
"But Jester, you could DIE." Newsflash, kids: I WILL die. We all WILL die. The number one most deadly disease in the world, with a 100% mortality rate, is life. No one survives it. There is no alternative ending.
So yes, I will die. We all will. The question is, how will we live our lives before that time comes? Me, I plan on enjoying it, as I always have. Since my father died when I was a wee lad of ten years old, I have made a point of living life to the fullest, of enjoying what life offers me. I eat healthy not because I feel I need to so much as a lot of what I enjoy eating IS healthy. Some of it isn't. C'est la vie.
I don't have any children that are dependent on me. And yes, if I check out early, certainly many people will miss me. Maybe not as many as I would hope--and certainly there will be people who will welcome the news--but as much as we in the American society try to avoid the subject completely, death is a very integral part of life. Who knows? Maybe Doc Mike is wrong, and I'll live like my mom, well into my seventies. (Mom's 76 and still going strong.) Maybe I won't. Maybe while I am stressing over the foods I eat, a tour bus full of geriatric tourists from Oshkosh runs me over. Who knows?
So, yeah....in all ways but one, I am apparently the very picture of a healthy 41 year old man. And that one way...well, no one's perfect. Least of all me.
So yeah, I'm gonna die. Who's got the next beer?
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