Thank you and I'm sorry

[Pedersen]

I've taken a break from CS in the past. It can be a good thing. Just please keep my phone number handy, would you? I'm there if you need me. Hell, even if you want me. And not in that way, you perv

[Rapscallion]

Take a break if you need, but we don't want to lose you. Feel free to come back as we'll always be here when you come back, or if you stay.

Rapscallion

[dragon_wings]

Aww Kanalah, if you take a break from CS how am I gonna order the quilt for my roomie?
(yeah I know there are other way but please at least stay in touch.)

[Kanalah]

It's just that everyone here is really awesome and I'm not.

I'd just rather leave before I get kicked out.

[dragon_wings]

Aww but you are awesome.

[Rapscallion]

Indeed. You conceived and brought together the Plaidquilt. I couldn't have done that.

Rapscallion

[Pedersen]

It's just that everyone here is really awesome and I'm not.

Everybody has their own special brand of awesome. Seraph does amazing web designs. I do code. Raps has a way of managing people that is something amazing to behold. You make works of art that cause the rest of us to lose capacity for speech.

You are such a loving and kind soul that you make people who have never managed to meet you in person worry if you're okay. You make us want to help you, to try and make your life better in some small way.

If that's not awesome, I don't know what is.

I'd just rather leave before I get kicked out.

This statement I take extreme exception to, though. It's almost enough to make me angry.

kanalah, you're refusing to allow me (and others, but I'll focus on me because I can) to decide to keep you in our lives. You've already decided that we're going to kick you out, and are working hard to leave before that can happen.

We're not. Using just chat itself, we talk about you every day. We worry about you. We hope you're okay. I read your FB status, and tell people what it says. We're doing the exact opposite of kicking you out: We're trying to wrap you up in the love we have. We want to give you something to help shield you, at least a little, to make your life a little better.

I know from personal conversations that people who are not in chat worry about you, too. If they knew of a way to help, to let you see how loved you are, then they'd already be doing it.

We love you, and we want you to be with us. That doesn't mean you have to put up with us 24/7, of course. Just know that we're here, and we'll do whatever we can to help.

All you have to do is give us a chance. You won't regret it.

[ArcticChicken]

Kanalah, you are a valued member of the CS community, and you are awesome. No one wants to see you leave. If you want to, that's one thing, but please never let yourself believe that we don't want you here, because that's just not true.

[Rapscallion]

This statement I take extreme exception to, though. It's almost enough to make me angry.

I don't. You've got an unwanted guest in your life. From our perspective, the choice is either you with that guest or not you, and we'd prefer to have you around. Some day, you'll kick that guest, but we acknowledge and accept that it's your companion. For now.

Rapscallion

[Kanalah]

You guys are making me cry.

I think my mood took a nosedive because I was dredging up the old memories of the toy store and how bad everyone was treating me.

It seems lately that the universe wants me to stick around because people I haven't seen/spoken to in years are checking in on me.

The night before last I had a dream where Seraph was at my funeral and screaming at my mom. I don't know why sweet innocent Seraph would yell at anyone. >.>

Last night I dreamed that I visited Kara's work and they tried to throw me behind bars for some reason.

I have never had dreams of CS people before.

I guess it's because I'm fighting the depression that it's trying to kick me in the butt that much harder. Although getting out of the house today really did wonders for me.

[ArcticChicken]

If posting about the toy store is too hard, then stop. Sure, we'd like to hear the rest of the story, but your health is FAR more important.

[Kristev]

I'd like you to stay.

[Food Lady]

Kanalah, you can leave the board, but I have your address. And stamps. And I know how to use them.

[Dilorenzo]

Kana, having epic stories to post isn't a reason to stick around here. This place is a community, and a damned good one at that. If you want to take a break, that's all well and good - but you'd be terribly missed, because you're a part of that community.

[Elspeth]

*hugs* I wish i had the magic wand to make everything better. I do i have a stick and If you are gone too long I will ask Food Lady for your address and send you badly crotchet figures (just got a bunch of patterns) I just started, but I think you helped me on the path to do something creative.

Plus who am I going to bug when I start on my watercolor quilt of one of my hubby's pictures (yes I am starting with a bed size quilt)