Are they jerks or am I oversensitive?

[hinakiba777]

So lately I have been having this really odd thing happening to me on dating websites. Now a few of my friends think this might just be the same person with different accounts trolling me, but I just thought I would get a few additional opinions. I want to make sure this person is a jerk, and it's not simply that I am being oversensitive.

So basically guys keep messaging on these sites just to insult my weight and appearance, or at least that's how it seems to me. The thing is, they aren't outright calling me fat and ugly, they just seem to be implying that. As well as the fact I will die alone. Here are some examples of things said in one of these conversations;

• I am just really concerned for your health. What exactly do you eat, and how often do you excercise?
• How many dates have you actually gotten on this site?
• How many dates have you gotten ever?
• We are in a society where looks/ weight matters
• I can guarantee you no one will message you because people are so shallow
• I am friends with tons of people I find ugly
• I am not going to comment on your weight
• Aren't you concerned for you health?
• Why are you on a dating site when you aren't concerned with making yourself attractive?

These guys always message me first. They at times start talking to me about other things like my interests and stuff, but it tends to end up like this. Now this is just a handful of people, and it's only been happening recently. I just want to know if these guys are actually jerks, or if I am just being oversensitive.

Here's a photo I use in most of my profiles. In case this thread needed pictures.

[Mytical]

I think they are just jerks. I've always thought you were beautiful, and in the name of sanity, with that picture how the heck do they get you are fat? WHERE? *ahem* Anyhow...haters gotta hate..put them on ignore and move on.

[lilnizzie]

those guys are JERKS and are rather cruel. No wonder they're still single!

They're purposely messaging you to tell you these things? Either right away, or soon after contact? Jerks. Whether they're all separate people, or a troll, that doesn't matter.

What does matter is that you remember and hold onto your already firm belief that you are beautiful, and that what people say makes big statements about who THEY are, and says nothing about who YOU are.

Consider it a wonderful heads up, so you wouldn't have to waste an ounce of energy on them, except to hit delete.

[violiavampyr]

That is bizarre. It may very well be Just some jerk trolling you. One or two different people, I'd say are isolated incedents, but several? I know people can be jerks, but that's just too much of a bunch of jerkiness for it to be coincidence. I say it's just some bored douchebag.
BTW, I think you're pretty in that pic.

[Mytical]

BTW, I think you're pretty in that pic.

This is what I am saying!

[Akasa]

Definitely jerks. Tell them they can stuff their size 0 imaginary girlfriend where the sun don't shine, cause if they think you're fat, they like girls with eating disorders.

[Food Lady]

It's some incredibly rude, bored jerk. He's probably a pimple-faced fourteen-year-old.

[Pixilated]

Put briefly: they're jerks.

That's a lovely photo, you're not fat and they are just yanking your chain, IMO.

You could try "Why are you telling me this?" or "Why are you asking me this?" to these comments and questions.

Better yet, just pull the plug on 'em and block 'em.

Have you mentioned this to the site, by the way? If it's one or two people trolling, you may not be the only one they're taking aim at, and if the site is reputable, I'd think they'd want to know this is happening.

[Andara Bledin]

Wow, those are some class A douchebags.

They're probably going pre-emptive on the "well, I didn't want to date her, anyway, 'cause she's ugly" excuses because their personalities are so awful, nobody is willing to go out with them.

Just chalk it up to stupid twats with no self-esteem who have to rag on others to make themselves feel less like losers. Block, report, and move on, thankful that you never actually wasted time on the creeps.

^-.-^

[Marmalady]

They're jerks, plain and simple. In fact, probably very plain, and definitely very simple. Trying to upset you in order to boost their own inadequate egos.

That's a beautiful photo of you. Block these toerags and put 'em out of your mind.

[Jester]

Treat these messages and the people (person?) sending them with the respect and attention they deserve: none.

Ignore them, treat them like junk mail, and don't bother even reading any more messages from those who have sent you such messages.

To put it simply, fuck 'em.

[thehuckster]

I suggest you review the TOS for the dating site. I'm sure there's a rule in there somewhere that prohibits members from messaging other members just to insult them like that. If there is, report them! There's really no need for that kind of asshattery on a dating site, where the purpose is to find a lovely companion, not to make a commentary on each profile you find.

[Yfandes]

My first thought was that these are abusive people looking for someone to take their abuse. Your response will tell them how much abuse you will put up with. Ignore, mute, ban, report whatever, but do not engage.

And no, you are not being too sensitive. It doesn't matter if its one person or many - still jerky.

[Chanlin]

I'll chime in with one more thing that occurred to me after you asked me last night.

There is no such thing as too sensitive. If someone is saying something that bothers you, then tell them to stop. If they keep going that's harassment.

But, I'll echo my first sentiment as well which seems to be the majority response here. Just ignore the jerks.

[artcurmudgeon]

::honest unbiased opinion::

All of the statements that I saw you post would make me think that they are jerks.

Joke them if they cant take a fuck, I would say.

Now for my opinion of the picture...

Yummie! You are an attractive lady and don't doubt that for a second.

Nuff said....