Wait...am I spoiled?!

[iPanda]

also... +1 for iPandalpacas. Best mental image ever of the month week.

I shall now create toys in this image and market it. I offer to you 10% of stock before it's too late.

Time to become rich.


But back to seriousness; I agree that being spoiled is more of a mindset of a person. It's the person's actions that show if they're spoiled not from what they are given. It's how they react to material gain and the worth they put on material pursuits.

[houdini]

I agreed that spoiled is about attitude, and you don't sound remotely spoiled. You're grateful for what you've received and it's all things that are intended to help you as an adult, rather than simply throw away. Spoiled would be expecting to receive anything you wanted, rather than asking and then being grateful when you do get it.

A slightly alternative view on parents buying a child things etc - in our family, we have a "generational debt" system. My grandmother helped my mother in life, and never wanted repayment. My parents have helped my sister and I if there was anything we wanted to do while growing up (within reason), and they're now helping me buy a house. But their view is that their help went towards making sis and I good people, and when we have children, sis and I will do the same and give our children help with anything they want to do. The house partly ensures that Husband and I will have a home for our children, so they see it as an ongoing benefit. It also works because my parents run their own business, and that really helped sis and I realise the value of money and hard work, because everything they bought for us came from their own efforts - so we don't view money as some automatic benefit, which I think doesn't help "spoiled" children.

[taxguykarl]

Me= Who do we know that drives a shitty 2002 kia?
Dad= You do.
Me=I........ I HAVE A CAR!!!! *runs to my dad and give hims a giant hug*
....
my mother walking me from a sound sleep at 6am to ask me if I want rice krispie treats or granola bars in my lunch even though I don't have to leave for work until 3pm. Usually when my ire cools I feel like a brat for getting mad at them.

Agreed, not spoiled. Spoiled would be this reaction. Your reaction was more like that of a daddy's girl.

Spoiled, in general, would be qualifying for an episode of Prince$$. (Yes that show is aired in the US.)

[MoonCat]

It looks more like your mom and dad give you what you need and a few things you want, with more of an emphasis on "need." Nothing bad about that. And you do appreciate it and love them a lot, so I don't think you're a spoiled brat at all.

Parents don't always give each child the exact same things, in terms of quantity and financial worth. They give them what they think they need. So if your brother's needs are a little different from yours, he may get something more sometimes.

[Maria]

I've always viewed "spoiled" as being selfish, inconsiderate of others, and having everything given to you on a silver platter by over-doting parents... in that order.

This sums it up for me, too. Spoiled, to me, is just that -- gone bad. It's my brother-in-law who "asks" his parents to pay his utility bills by texting a photo of the shutoff notice, 2-3 hours before the shutoff is scheduled. And then wonders why Mom isn't online to Skype - because she let her cable get turned off, to pay his bills.

I didn't get parents until I was 17, but I have an older sister who's very giving, where I'm concerned, to put it mildly. I wonder these things too, about the way she is with me. I ask myself questions like, is her help giving me a foundation to become more independent, or making me soft and dependent? Do I feel loved and wanted, or entitled? Do I appreciate the things I'm given, or feel like society owes me an easy life? How do I respond when she says no, especially when I know she could afford to say yes? When the answers are more negative, we have some coffee and figure out what would be more helpful.

[Seshat]

[*]Parents have offered to by new bed for my room at home so that I will come home after having gallbladder surgery so that they can take care of my while I recover

That one's valid.

The rest are 'spoiled' by the standards of my family/socio-economic status.

From the point I could legally get paying work, I was being eased into paying for my own life: up until I became clearly permanently disabled, my parents expected me to pay for my own life. Despite the disability, I get no economic help from them (except indirectly - their taxes help pay for my welfare income).

From the point where I could pour cereal and milk into a bowl without making a horrible mess, and could make a sandwich, I was making my own breakfasts and lunches (except for special times - in winter, Mum would sometimes make eggs or porridge or other warm meals, and five year olds weren't allowed to cook. But we could "help" cook).

Me, my brother, my niece and nephew ... chores are simply part of living in the house. SOMEONE has to do it, so everyone does a share. What your share is depends on your capacity to work: a five year old has different chores from a fifteen year old.

And yeah, financially? I didn't even get a cent when my grandmother died and left a sizeable amount of money to my mother (in the form of a block of land she'd lived on for thirty years - and which had become HIGHLY desirable real estate in the interim). Getting money just 'cause? Ha.