My cousin is in a crappy living situation. Shes in her moms house (which she hates) due to financial difficulties. She has an upstairs bedroom. Her bf moved in with her, but since her parents are old school, they couldnt sleep together, so he took the basement and lived there. After a very short while of being at my aunts house, it ended up that his 2 kids (who arent his kids but he did raise them) came to live with them too. So, bf and his son lived in the basement together and his daughter was given a room on the 2nd floor with my cousin. The kids were 12 and 13 when they arrived. So my cousin was paying for the 4 of them to be there, but could rarely make that work, so my elderly aunt and ncle have been footing the bill for the extra people.
Now, the 2 kids are high school age so they both eventually got jobs to help with the bills. My cousin also works. Her bf, does not work and has held a job for about 6 months in the last 5 years. Theres nothing physically or mentally wrong with him. He can work, he just doesnt want to.
So fast forward, they stay in this situation for 2.5 years. My cousin finally has her breaking point and her and bf break up. But hes stays there. In her moms basement, b/c he has no where else to go. So, they give him a leave date coinciding with his sons high school graduation date. My cousin has said the kids can stay b/c they pay bills, also b/c they get along with the family. And indeed, neither of the kids want to live with their dad. But that starts a whole new set of issues.
So, anyways, her exBFs leave date comes and goes. Hes still in the basement with no job. He gets into an argument with his son and actually kicks his son out of the house. His son has since left and not been back. Now, his daughter (he doesnt have custody of her and she actually is not his daughter) is 17 years old and old enough to make her own decisions. Shes made it clear that shes not leaving the house with her dad. My cousin has been the only stable mother figure shes had and she;d like to stay.
He blows a gasket and they have the argument of the century. But hes still here, in the basement and jobless. (can i just add here, that hes not actively applying for a job. Hes kinda just waiting for someone to give him one, like a present.)
Fast forward again, up to last week. My cousin comes to visit me and after a while shes "nonchalantly" asks. "So, is your attic still empty?
I, sensing the impending trap say "Its storage right now, but why do you ask.?"
Cousin: "I was wondering something. Youre probably going to say no"
Me: *at this point im thinking shes going to ask to move in, so im mentally preparing a nice rejection, b/c i do love my cousin.* I probably will. But what is it?
cousin: I was wondering if you would let exBF move into your attic and i could pay you every week for him to be there and for his food and stuff.
My husband: Hell no! What? You cant kick him out of your house so you want to transplant him into ours? Why are you still trying to pay for him. <<that was unexpected so im trying to hold in my laughter.
Me: Cousin, i really dont think thats a good idea. You DO need to get him out of your moms basement, but no, he cant come here.
Cousin: Oh ok, just thought id try. *giggle*
I was kinda pissed about that. Not only is she trying to foist him off onto MY family, but shes also offering to pay for him which is why HES STILL IN HER MOMS HOUSE!!! No one is making him take responsibility for himself or his children. Ugh. I was a little miffed that cousin thought that was even a freaking option. Before anyone says, Ive had very frank discussions regarding exBF and truly, they fall on deaf ears.
Now, the 2 kids are high school age so they both eventually got jobs to help with the bills. My cousin also works. Her bf, does not work and has held a job for about 6 months in the last 5 years. Theres nothing physically or mentally wrong with him. He can work, he just doesnt want to.
So fast forward, they stay in this situation for 2.5 years. My cousin finally has her breaking point and her and bf break up. But hes stays there. In her moms basement, b/c he has no where else to go. So, they give him a leave date coinciding with his sons high school graduation date. My cousin has said the kids can stay b/c they pay bills, also b/c they get along with the family. And indeed, neither of the kids want to live with their dad. But that starts a whole new set of issues.
So, anyways, her exBFs leave date comes and goes. Hes still in the basement with no job. He gets into an argument with his son and actually kicks his son out of the house. His son has since left and not been back. Now, his daughter (he doesnt have custody of her and she actually is not his daughter) is 17 years old and old enough to make her own decisions. Shes made it clear that shes not leaving the house with her dad. My cousin has been the only stable mother figure shes had and she;d like to stay.
He blows a gasket and they have the argument of the century. But hes still here, in the basement and jobless. (can i just add here, that hes not actively applying for a job. Hes kinda just waiting for someone to give him one, like a present.)
Fast forward again, up to last week. My cousin comes to visit me and after a while shes "nonchalantly" asks. "So, is your attic still empty?
I, sensing the impending trap say "Its storage right now, but why do you ask.?"
Cousin: "I was wondering something. Youre probably going to say no"
Me: *at this point im thinking shes going to ask to move in, so im mentally preparing a nice rejection, b/c i do love my cousin.* I probably will. But what is it?
cousin: I was wondering if you would let exBF move into your attic and i could pay you every week for him to be there and for his food and stuff.
My husband: Hell no! What? You cant kick him out of your house so you want to transplant him into ours? Why are you still trying to pay for him. <<that was unexpected so im trying to hold in my laughter.
Me: Cousin, i really dont think thats a good idea. You DO need to get him out of your moms basement, but no, he cant come here.
Cousin: Oh ok, just thought id try. *giggle*
I was kinda pissed about that. Not only is she trying to foist him off onto MY family, but shes also offering to pay for him which is why HES STILL IN HER MOMS HOUSE!!! No one is making him take responsibility for himself or his children. Ugh. I was a little miffed that cousin thought that was even a freaking option. Before anyone says, Ive had very frank discussions regarding exBF and truly, they fall on deaf ears.
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