So who has tried to scalp themselves while making the bed? (other odd house injuries)

[AccountingDrone]

Hm, top to bottom

Alloy B bronze shrapnel in my face that they couldn't get all the teeny tiny pieces out of the eye sockets and every now and again one will work its way out. I currently have a tiny shard embedded in my left upper eyelid that is trying to escape. Catastrophic fail while machining a 1 inch chlorine cylinder valve.

Split my tongue by biting the dentist while he was engaged in drilling on a tooth when I was 5 years old without any novocain. He ended up with 5 stitches in his thumb. I ended up finally being taken to a juvenile dentist.

Knocked my front teeth loose falling 35 feet out of a pine tree. They got reset.

Broke my jaw tripping on the way out of the dental surgery after having all 4 of my wisdom teeth chiseled out. They hauled me back in and wired my jaw shut.

Broke my neck and back in 3 places cross country skiing. I got better.

Flail chest from a car accident. Also broke the left wrist and sprained the right.

Phosgene exposure twice. I can not recommend a lung flush as a fun passtime. Chlorine exposure on the order of 20 or so times ranging from a whiff to hospitalization. Anhydrous ammonia exposure, about the same. I can exhale, close my eyes and find my way 25 feet to the wall mount scott airpack, don it, clear it and start breathing again. Also exposure to all sorts of chemicals ranging from acids, bases, salts. Hazmat tech is not a job for the nervous. And I lost 6 inches of hair length to teh decontamination team at Ginnea 1 when I got valve water accidentally dumped so it contaminated my hair when I was under an intake pipe working.

Broke fingers and toes assorted times ranging from stupid kid accidents, being thrown from a horse multiple times, drop kicked a small TV that by brother set in the hallway that I didn't see because it was dark.

Got both knees wiped out - right knee twice left knee once, playing soccer. Those catholic girl schools are killers! Being spiked under the kneecap leads to patellar tendonitis. The right knee got the tendon split so they did an arthroscopy on it.

Broke the left 5th metatarsal a second time which led to the diagnosis of hyperparathyroiditis [I had lost enough calcium into my bloodstream you could have sharpened my nose and used me on a chalkboard. They caught me at 11.5.]

Probably forgetting a few. I literally have broken about half the bones in my body and jokingly refer to my time as a hazmat tech as the Jupiter Environmental Training Program.

[Mishi]

@protege: My dad has a permanent dent in his forearm, in the fleshy part just below his elbow, from dropping a car on it (the stands failed).

I have:
- A dent in the back of my head from falling over backwards while rocking on my chair.
- Almost knocked myself out on a bedside table + got blood everywhere while getting into bed to read a book.
- Two tiny white lines on my right thumb from dropping a brick on it while repairing a garden bed. Took off a large chunk and then it tried to get infected.
- Scars on my left hand from nicking it with various kitchen knives by accident.
- Broken metatarsal and a nice scar from sitting down on my computer chair while my right foot was under its metal foot. No, I don't know how I did it.
- A scar on my right temple from my friend jokingly throwing a stack of papers at me and not realising that there was a CD case amongst them.

[protege]

I've managed to injure myself while working on the car...

First time, I was lying under the car, trying to take the front bumper off. Thoroughly rusted bolts meant I was lying on my back, had a wrench on the bolts, and was pounding away on said wrench with a hammer. That wouldn't have been a problem, but it was cold as hell in the garage (ever lay on a cold concrete floor in the middle of winter?), and I was told to answer the phone...since I was the only one home at the time. First time the phone rang, no problem. I extricated myself, grabbed the phone, and got to work. Second time...I wasn't so lucky. Apparently, I forgot about being *under* the MG, and as I got up, I clocked myself upside the head I'd smacked my head and ear on one of the bumper irons. I could have ripped my ear clean off As it was, I was left with a nice big cut on my ear and a big gash on my head. That was bad enough, but when my head hit, I literally saw stars!

Second time, was about a dozen years later. Same car though This time, I was in the process of rebuilding the front suspension. More rusty bolts meant I got to play with a torch and/or a Sawzall. Oddly enough, my injury wasn't from either of those implements of destruction. No, it was nothing more than a socket wrench. I was taking apart the driver's side suspension, and while I was leaning on a stuck bolt...the wrench's ratchet mechanism suddenly failed. I ended up punching the protruding flange on the lower A-arm...which left me with a nasty gash across several fingers

I always try to be careful when working on the cars. I don't leave tools lying around on the floor, and the work area is always cleaned up when I'm done. But, there's no way to prevent an old tool from suddenly failing, or when distractions turn into annoyances.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

And I'm sitting here with a pinched nerve in my shoulder from getting out of bed today. >.<

Been there, done that with the pinched nerve - hurts like Hell.

And how did I get that pinched nerve in my neck years ago, combined with a slipped disc and tendonitis in my left rotator cuff?

I was crazy enough to move an old tabletop tv (one of those 80's RCA colortracks with the knobs on it) off a dresser in a bedroom and carried it to the living room for my aunt (she'd just moved into a new trailer and the cable guy wasn't scheduled to come out until the following Monday.)

As soon as I lifted that tv, I felt a pop in my neck. Three weeks later I was at the doctor's office, being treated for tendonitis . . . then referred to a specialist, who did the MRI and found everything else.

Other accidents around the house include:

Trying to run across a tiled floor in the kitchen with socks on . . . I skidded and had to grab onto the counter of the sink and jerked my shoulder in the process. OUCH.

But at least I didn't fall and bust my butt.

At least a couple of times in the shower, I end up bruising my elbow by banging it against the fiberglass wall when washing my hair. That funny bone ain't so funny after all.

Then there was the time I accidentally tried to slice off one of my fingers while washing dishes . . . that one took months to heal up and stayed tender forever it seemed. That one involved a knife that had been put in the sink blade upwards.

Then there was the time I was getting clothes out of the dryer and I threw my back out . . . never sneeze while you're bent over trying to pick up stuff that's fallen out of your arms, that does it to me every time. Stayed partially locked up for almost 2 days.

Same goes for locking up your shoulder while trying to reset the side of a queen size waterbed onto the platform b/c the idiot who set it up didn't brace it properly. This happened way back in middle school . . . twice.

Needless to say it finally got fixed not long after the 2nd incident . . . .God took care of that (he was a friend who rented a room from us - his real name was Bruce but somehow he got the nickname "God" - I'll explain how he got his monicker in another post.)

And I lost count of how many times I would stub my toes on a particular coffee table Mom had in the living room when we were growing up. This particular coffee table was made from a Conostoga wagon wheel and she had the guys at the glass company across the street custom cut a sheet of glass to fit over it. The base had curved legs that stuck out and if you didn't watch where you were going or went barefoot . . . it'd reach out and grab you!

Those are the ones I can think of right now . . . I might think of more later to add, right now it's shower and get ready for bed. *yawn*

[EyeTeaGuy]

I've punched myself in the face opening a wine bottle...and I regularly walk into the walls of the townhouse I've lived in for YEARS and should therefore know where the damn things are by now

The wine bottle thing reminds me of a story from my wedding night...and don't worry, it's not rated X.

As a wedding gift since my wife and I were doing a stay in the city honeymoon, my mom's quilting group paid for the hotel accommodations for a 1 night stay at The Oxford, a VERY swanky old hotel in downtown Denver. I never knew what they paid for the room, but the "Max charge" sign on the back of the door was around $500 per night.

Luxury all around....the room and the hallway honestly reminded me of the 1st class section on the Titanic....save for the plasma TV on the wall. Important to the story.

Since it was our wedding night, about 10 minutes after we got in they delivered a complimentary bottle of champagne - with a corkscrew. Again, that's important to the story.

Not being much of a drinker myself, I thought 'hey, they put the damn thing there for a reason', and start to use it to un-cork the bottle. The neck of the bottle broke, thankfully I did not get cut.

But the cork flew out at something approaching 'ludicrous speed', and hit the wall - about 2" away from the very nice plasma. THAT would have been one hell of a way to start a marriage, with having to pay for that...!

[Racket_Man]

Let's see

got my hand run over while ice skating (still have the scar)
tried to get my ankle sliced off while riding double on a bike (still have the scar)
fell down on some jagged concerte and sliced my knee open (still have the scar)
tried to hop a barbed wire fence and cut open my leg about 4 inches (still have the scar)
rouneded the dresser and smashed my middle toe causing a nice sprial fracture
playing Frisbee in an empty parking lot and stepped on another foot and twisted the crap outta my knee (I can tell when it is going to rain )
fell down some stairs and split my forehead open
accidents with knives to numerious to list them all
fell down a cliff face on some loose rock and tried to slice my little finger off (still have the scar)
got a nice long road rash on my arm as I fell off my bike when the seat came loose

at work a couple of years ago I slipped down a customers steps after it had rained. nice road rash most of the way from my hip to my knee

[BrenDAnn]

Not once, but twice I have nearly ripped toenails off by stubbing my feet on someone else's shoes. First time it was my nephew's shoes. Most recently it was my dad's shoes. One that I was witness to was my former manager slicing her shirt, pants, AND leg with a box cutter at work. Needless to say, we really didn't allow her to use sharp objects much after that. I have an aunt that was washing the glass turntable of a microwave in a sink, broke the turntable, and sliced one of her fingers badly enough that to this day she has nerve damage in it. The weirdest scar I have is from a dog I used to have accidentally clawing me. To this day, I have a scar on my upper inner left arm from that. Speaking of things falling on people's heads, I was recently sitting here, relaxing, when most of the ceiling tiles on my ceiling fell down all over my room. Thankfully, I was quick enough to get away from them actually falling ON me, but good god what a scare that was!

[Jester]

Oddly enough, every incident I've had with a ceiling fan (other than the recent sheet incident) was not with my hands, but with my head. I'm 5'8". Let's just say I've been known to stand on tables in bars.

I will not comment on the number of times I've cut myself with a knife in the kitchen, as I would get carpal tunnels from all the typing I'd have to do.

My most recent kitchen incident: I was checking on some bacon I was roasting in the oven. And I reached into the oven and grabbed the tray to move it with my right hand, on which I was wearing an oven mitt, because I'm not an idiot. The tray got stuck, and I reached in with my left hand to help move it, on which I was not wearing an oven mitt, because I'm an idiot. My roommate heard my screams. In the other room. While he was wearing headphones. The good news: I had some burn cream from Key West Aloe, which was designed for alleviating sun burns, but I figured a burn was a burn, and I squeezed some into my hand and squished it around for about 9 days. I was right...a burn is just a burn. I ended up the next day with only one small blister on my pinky. The rest of my hand, while feeling slightly raw, was unscathed.

[fireheart]

You know, I saw the title and I was so sure this was gonna be a Seraph thread. Rather relieved it's not, actually, she has enough comical accidents.

I'm surprised that Lupo isn't commenting.

[Seshat]

Not an in-home accident, but a taking-the-cat-to-the-vet accident. I may have told this one before.

Cat in cat basket. Me carrying her. New construction means we walk on a gravel-covered bit of road instead of on the footpath.

I start to slip.

I have no conscious memory of the next half-second or so, but my best friend tells me that I PUT the cat down, even while I'm measuring my length on the gravel. I didn't drop her, I PUT her cage down.

Gravel rash bad enough to bleed on my knees, the palms of my hands, and my CHIN.

We walked into the vet's office with one perfectly healthy cat (coming in for a checkup) and one human who desperately needed antibiotics and basic dressings!

[Eireann]

I once asked a coworker how she got a case of road rash (a particularly bad case, might I add).

"I was riding my bike and eating a cheeseburger."

Then there was an acquaintance who had some heavy-duty scabs down her arm, and a couple on her face.

"I came home drunk and fell against the stove."

[bhskittykatt]

So the other day, I'm draining some pasta, and realized I left the sink stopper in. So I forget the fact that I just poured scalding water from the stove in there, and reach in to grab the stopper...

Couple of weeks ago I reached for a switch at the back of the microwave... the microwave door was ajar, my arm was over the top of it & my boob managed to knock the door shut & latched trapping some of my skin in there... which meant that opening the door again was problematical as the skin acted as a wedge to keep it shut!

Not a household incident, but once whilst spelunking, my BFF climbed through a too-tight hole. When she tried to back out, her boobies basically pushed back, and she was thoroughly wedged in there. Cue me pulling on one leg, another friend pulling on the other, while BFF cries "My boobies!! Owwww!" Yeah, those things can really get in the way at times.

[Mytical]

While I am a clutz, and have hurt myself in very inventive ways in my own home..the most 'doh' moment stands out. We have a floor grate for our central air. It is in the middle of the house. Silly me was in a hurry, barefoot, and come running into the house. BOOM fell flat on my face. Had to end up being taken to the hospital, where I lost the toenail on my right foot (not the big toe..that was later due to an infection, but the one right next to the big toe). Ripped it almost clean off, they didn't have to do much to get the rest of it removed. Luckily it was numb the whole time, never did hurt.

[auntiem]

The other day I managed to set my electric glass top stove on fire.
Last summer when I was making jalepeno pear chutney I managed to make the palm of my hand look like I had some horrible flesh eating disease - apparently I'm allergic to the powder in the latex gloves I was using and had spent an hour cutting up jalepenos and pears and grinding the powder into my hand.

Most of my injuries occur outside the house - my house is well "auntiem - proofed" since my SO is a safety trainer. (tip - safety glasses work well if you are cutting onions).

[telecom_goddess]

And I'm sitting here with a pinched nerve in my shoulder from getting out of bed today. >.<

wow that's pretty bad

I've cut myself numerous times, electrocuted myself on a light socket, broke my toe once by kicking a shoe.