Because yesterday I do believe that I cemented my place as the King of All Smartasses, which I've been calling myself for years.
The setting: Don's Place, a local (and locals) bar. You wanna get away from the tourists in Key West? Head to Don's. Any tourists that end up here don't stay long.
I met a friend there after I finished work, but said friend was drunk (and on a mission), and quickly left. And...I quickly got drawn into the dice game going on at the bar, with several of the patrons and Don himself.
(Yes, I spent a good portion of my New Year's Day in a dive bar, drinking and gambling. Mom would be so proud!)
While I've been going there on and off for years, I had never actually met Don. I quickly discovered that he was a complete and total smartass, and quite witty in his own right. See, us smartasses can quickly spot our own. As I was losing badly in the dice game (and I mean EPICALLY badly!), it was inevitable that I would start saying things like "Fuck you, Don." To which Don laughed. And said, "That's actually my full name: Fuck You Don. It's what my wife calls me." Like I said, this guy was quick and he was funny. We got along great. Anyway, at some point, the following conversation took place.
JESTER: "Fuck you, Don. You asshole."
DON: (laughing) "Yeah, you can call me that. Hell, you can call me anything you want. Chances are I earned it at some point."
JESTER: "Okay....ya pedophile."
DON:
EVERYONE ELSE:
DON: "Okay, ya got me on that one."
He was actually speechless there for a moment, making that sputtering sound that people make when they are trying to say something, but just can't get the words to form.
Hail to the King, baby.
The setting: Don's Place, a local (and locals) bar. You wanna get away from the tourists in Key West? Head to Don's. Any tourists that end up here don't stay long.
I met a friend there after I finished work, but said friend was drunk (and on a mission), and quickly left. And...I quickly got drawn into the dice game going on at the bar, with several of the patrons and Don himself.
(Yes, I spent a good portion of my New Year's Day in a dive bar, drinking and gambling. Mom would be so proud!)
While I've been going there on and off for years, I had never actually met Don. I quickly discovered that he was a complete and total smartass, and quite witty in his own right. See, us smartasses can quickly spot our own. As I was losing badly in the dice game (and I mean EPICALLY badly!), it was inevitable that I would start saying things like "Fuck you, Don." To which Don laughed. And said, "That's actually my full name: Fuck You Don. It's what my wife calls me." Like I said, this guy was quick and he was funny. We got along great. Anyway, at some point, the following conversation took place.
JESTER: "Fuck you, Don. You asshole."
DON: (laughing) "Yeah, you can call me that. Hell, you can call me anything you want. Chances are I earned it at some point."
JESTER: "Okay....ya pedophile."
DON:
EVERYONE ELSE:
DON: "Okay, ya got me on that one."
He was actually speechless there for a moment, making that sputtering sound that people make when they are trying to say something, but just can't get the words to form.
Hail to the King, baby.
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