Random, depressing question

[Amina516]

I know the last few times ive been on here ive been gloom and doom. I apologize. My life has been "interesting" the last while. But I have a truly important question.

Have you ever been aware of such a horrible truth that you were unable to share for whatever reason? What did you do to keep your self sane? I feel like i'm losing it..

[Fudgethatkay]

I had to find distractions. If I wasn't ready to face it, I put myself into my hobbies, studies, or work with more passion, and try to do new things to get it out of mind until I knew I had to breathe and come to terms.

But that is just ME. We're all different.

[Kristev]

I tried to exorcise my anger by writing books.

[Seraph]

Keep busy. As much as possible, until you've burnt it out of your system.

Read.
Play video games.
Buy some perler beads and make sprites.
Re-watch Firefly.
Clean the house.

Just keep your mind off of it, or else if you're anything like me, you get stuck in a recursive loop over it. /hugs

[Amina516]

My only consolation is that its a matter of time before its known. The issue is then picking up the pieces afterwards and dealing with the onslaught of grief and anger that will be inevitable. I am legally unable to share what I know. Ive been dwelling on it all day.

thank you all for your advice.

Also, rewatching FIREFLY is possibly the best idea ever.....

[Seraph]

Hey...well...if it is of any comfort...

It is known.


/hides

but seriously, hang in there hun. And if you need to just chat or whatever, PM me. ^^ Also, REWATCH DAT FIREFLY.

[Kheldarson]

If it's something you can't legally share, does that mean a lawyer is involved?

If that's the case, then maybe see if going to a therapist or counselor until the info starts being known would be allowed so you can at least talk?

[BroSCFischer]

If it's something you can't legally share, does that mean a lawyer is involved?

Well, seeing as Amina is a nurse, I'm betting it would violate HIPPA or other federal regulation covering patient confidentiality.

Hang in there, Amina, it's always darkest just before the dawn. Cheesy cliche, yes, but also, very often, true.

SC

[Seshat]

Is there someone you can legally share it with: perhaps another nurse or medical professional?

If not; get someplace private and express either the secret or your emotions regarding the secret in some form.

If you choose to express the secret, you can do so by talking out loud 'to' the person - as in, to empty space that stands in for the person. Or a punching bag, if you prefer. :P
Or you can write a letter - or many letters.
Or you can write the secret and the predictable consequences of said secret.

As long as you're suitably private, go ahead and express whatever you need to, to the empty air. Or to paper, or electrons. Of course, if you choose paper or electrons, you'll need to erase it afterwards.


If you choose to express the emotions: paint, draw, play music, beat up some modelling clay, beat up bread dough, "fluff" pillows, get a set of fingerpaints and some cheap paper and paint 'anger'.....


Think of it as a wound that's festering and needs to be lanced. Expressing it - either the secret itself or the emotions around it - is lancing the wound.
Then using CBT or Helpful Thinking or other such techniques is applying antiseptic.

[Sapphire Silk]

I know the last few times ive been on here ive been gloom and doom. I apologize. My life has been "interesting" the last while. But I have a truly important question.

Have you ever been aware of such a horrible truth that you were unable to share for whatever reason? What did you do to keep your self sane? I feel like i'm losing it..

Amina, if the guesses of others are right and it's patient related, feel free to PM me. I'd be happy to lend you an ear and a shoulder.

I've been in situations like that; in fact, I'm going through one right now. I find prayer helps me a lot. I've asked God to forgive me, and taken ownership of what I've done in my prayers, since I'm literally not in a position to ask for forgiveness directly.

It's not a perfect solution, but it helps.

If you've never been especially religious, that doesn't matter. You can pray anyway. Praying is a lot like Seshat's example of writing the letter you never send; it can lead to a catharsis.

[Amina516]

It indeed has to do with work. And in a strange twist of fate, I am related (through my husbands side) to the situation. Its like watching a bomb slowly falling on my family and being able to do nothing to stop or soften the blow.


So.....I'm waiting. Impatiently and with a heavy heart, but I'm waiting.

Thank you all for your advice. Ive written it down and have been practically been praying non stop. :/

I was able to speak with a coworker about it and i feel a little lightened. Once this become public knowledge, I hope to be able to share.

[Gizmo]

If there is any self-prep you can do to prepare for the fallout then do that too. Obviously you can't actually tell people or hint but research, drafting a document in a 'fill in the blanks' way etc. It may also help stop recriminations over the fallout if you can stop everyone in their 'blame' tracks by presenting a way forward and asking their input on it.

[Amina516]

So, its out. People know! Now I can share and not have it be a HIPAA violation. Its sad, so if you'd rather not hear, please change the channel now....

So, I just recently had my Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) training and can do rape kits to gather evidence and physical exams after sexual assault. A particularly horrible case came in this past weekend that I wasn't there for. But i heard all about it Monday, as my SANE program coordinator happened to be the one there. We went over all the details and findings, minus the name b/c i never asked and i didnt need to know.

A disabled teenage girl, who cant speak, came in for seizures and was in really bad shape. Incidentally, it was noticed that she had some weird body bruising. After trying to put a foley catheter in and being met with pus, her genital area was looked at and found to be abnormal. Cue the disaster.

Long story short, this girl was raped and horrifyingly, now also pregnant with an STD, which was bad enough that it was causing her body to be septic, which also caused her seizure disorder to flare and basically was killing her slowly.

I go home the next day and find my husband on the phone. Hes gets off and tells me his disabled cousin had a seizure and is in the hospital....

My heart about exploded. I excused myself to the bathroom and call the SANE coordinator. It was her. And now I knew every horrifying detail of her case and could tell no one. It was eating me alive. The girls mother, who knew the findings and of the police involvement, told no one. So all I could do was wait.

I received a call last night from my Sis In Law, telling me what they knew and I just broke down. It hurt to keep something so serious and heartbreaking from the family but I couldnt share. I tried talking to my MIL, but all she did was cry.


I spared them the details of course. Now we just wait. They took the embryo (which wasnt viable) to send for DNA testing. Cops are all over this. Also, her uncle is a state trooper and he found out yesterday, which is how the family found out. He heard and was incensed that this could happen to his niece.


ETA: As I was literally typing this, I received a call from my MIL. She just passed. She didn't deserve that happened to her. I cant stop crying.

[Cookie]

Oh my god. I'm so sorry, Amina. There are no words. I can't imagine carrying that around like you did and then this.

I'm praying for you and for your family and crying with you right now.

[csquared]

I can't even begin to imagine the pain you have gone through. My deepest sympathies to you and the family. May your cousin rest in peace.