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How to deal with backstabbing friend
will do my best to keep the drama short lived. basically she backstabbed me for alot of things, and is now acting clueless and i am preparing to let her have it. the question is, when, how or should I speak to her at all for a while?
FOR TL;DR version go back to the pink/orchid color font at the bottom
backstory:
a small town convention was this weekend from friday 4/19/13 to sunday 4/21/13
months in advance i had begun preparing to get my stock ready as i was going to be a vendor at the con and i asked two friends if they would be willing to help me with my table and if so the responsibilities involved etc.
I made sure they understood the above, that their badges were comped they just needed to pick them up and for all their help at the end of the convention they got to chose from my table from what was left OR if they saw something i would do my best to hold it for them. Also because they were coming to this convention i wanted them to enjoy it too, see some panels etc. thats about it
first friend is B. second friend is E
B went above and beyond to help me, make sure we had what we needed etc. so i let him galavant about the con and get himself immersed.
Friend E....against my strong suggestions IN ADVANCE brought her 5 year old. ALL THREE DAYS. this is a family con, but as it was meant for people 12 and up alot of the kids would be bored. but they kept alot of things pg and so on.
moving on, yes her kid was bored out of her mind which E found irritating (HELLO. you're a mother what did you think would happen?)
Second day in my table buddy - friends i had asked if they would return to have a table next to me - had an emergency and had to take off for a bit. I won't go into details beyond it was sorted all is fine.
When they left E turned to me and went on about unneccessary drama and what was her problem. I was shocked and slack jawed. i told her i don't know but you need to mind your business.
before i rant on i will just wrap this up. she DID help me with my costume and other things, there was some good in this but it was not enough to even the balance.
The entire weekend she had this air of negativity, bad attitude and drug the convention down for myself and those around us, was rude to me, my friends my table buddy and the person i was sharing a table with for another reason. Would spread the drama and backstabbing to any convention staff that would listen.
what bothered me most, my table buddies, are in the army, He serves and she is an army wife. E would make it a point to stop anyone in uniform to tell them thank you for what you do (a noble action but when you do it EVERY TIME it gets old sorry. especially when they have gone all the way down the row to avoid you)
I thought this was rude because it was made known that table buddy's husband served for our country, E never said a word of thanks at all. Yeah i know her right but i think that was very rude and disrespectful if you are going to thank others and not the person next to you all weekend.
ok sorry the last thing that bothers me is she fancies herself a geek, yet is kind of disrespectful to the whole geek culture and not really immersing herself in it or being picky about it. Not insulting the geek culture or anything of that nature, the best way i can describe it is taht the way she acts gives the other geeks in our community a bad name. The worst faux pa she did (IMO), was ask me to ask a person in a fur costume who was in full fursona (playing a character) to take of their mask so that her kid can understand that that is a real person under there. from what i understand you don't do that, and if she were the geek she claims herself to be she wouldn't do that.
All in all i am done with her, i have known this person for a good 6 months and she started out as nice, but all her true attention grabbing hypocritical charming decieving nature has revealed itself. there is a great deal more but i am going to keep it to this convention and how her negativity and bs cost me some sales. ie this was to help pay some bills and put food on the table and so on, yeah i paid bills and we are sphaghetti-ing it up the rest of this month and then some because of her. IE we have bills paid and just enough food to get by, like ramen for a good week.
Thank you for letting me vent now the question is, should I deal with her and let her know i am very upset? or should I approach her at all?
I am still not talking to her because i feel i cannot without exploding on her and i know that doing so would be just a bit over-reacting. I want to be tactful about this and not do so in front of her and her kid. and i honestly feel she doesn't have a clue that she screwed up royally. The most important part i want her to understand is that i had to apologize to alot of people around me because of her behavior and that because i had to tend to her crap because she wouldn't i missed alot of panels, and alot of time i had scheduled for people that she knew about.
thank you for at least taking a look, i figure i must be doing better if i am trying to make an effort to just let her have it.
FOR TL;DR version go back to the pink/orchid color font at the bottom
backstory:
a small town convention was this weekend from friday 4/19/13 to sunday 4/21/13
months in advance i had begun preparing to get my stock ready as i was going to be a vendor at the con and i asked two friends if they would be willing to help me with my table and if so the responsibilities involved etc.
I made sure they understood the above, that their badges were comped they just needed to pick them up and for all their help at the end of the convention they got to chose from my table from what was left OR if they saw something i would do my best to hold it for them. Also because they were coming to this convention i wanted them to enjoy it too, see some panels etc. thats about it
first friend is B. second friend is E
B went above and beyond to help me, make sure we had what we needed etc. so i let him galavant about the con and get himself immersed.
Friend E....against my strong suggestions IN ADVANCE brought her 5 year old. ALL THREE DAYS. this is a family con, but as it was meant for people 12 and up alot of the kids would be bored. but they kept alot of things pg and so on.
moving on, yes her kid was bored out of her mind which E found irritating (HELLO. you're a mother what did you think would happen?)
Second day in my table buddy - friends i had asked if they would return to have a table next to me - had an emergency and had to take off for a bit. I won't go into details beyond it was sorted all is fine.
When they left E turned to me and went on about unneccessary drama and what was her problem. I was shocked and slack jawed. i told her i don't know but you need to mind your business.
before i rant on i will just wrap this up. she DID help me with my costume and other things, there was some good in this but it was not enough to even the balance.
The entire weekend she had this air of negativity, bad attitude and drug the convention down for myself and those around us, was rude to me, my friends my table buddy and the person i was sharing a table with for another reason. Would spread the drama and backstabbing to any convention staff that would listen.
what bothered me most, my table buddies, are in the army, He serves and she is an army wife. E would make it a point to stop anyone in uniform to tell them thank you for what you do (a noble action but when you do it EVERY TIME it gets old sorry. especially when they have gone all the way down the row to avoid you)
I thought this was rude because it was made known that table buddy's husband served for our country, E never said a word of thanks at all. Yeah i know her right but i think that was very rude and disrespectful if you are going to thank others and not the person next to you all weekend.
ok sorry the last thing that bothers me is she fancies herself a geek, yet is kind of disrespectful to the whole geek culture and not really immersing herself in it or being picky about it. Not insulting the geek culture or anything of that nature, the best way i can describe it is taht the way she acts gives the other geeks in our community a bad name. The worst faux pa she did (IMO), was ask me to ask a person in a fur costume who was in full fursona (playing a character) to take of their mask so that her kid can understand that that is a real person under there. from what i understand you don't do that, and if she were the geek she claims herself to be she wouldn't do that.
All in all i am done with her, i have known this person for a good 6 months and she started out as nice, but all her true attention grabbing hypocritical charming decieving nature has revealed itself. there is a great deal more but i am going to keep it to this convention and how her negativity and bs cost me some sales. ie this was to help pay some bills and put food on the table and so on, yeah i paid bills and we are sphaghetti-ing it up the rest of this month and then some because of her. IE we have bills paid and just enough food to get by, like ramen for a good week.
Thank you for letting me vent now the question is, should I deal with her and let her know i am very upset? or should I approach her at all?
I am still not talking to her because i feel i cannot without exploding on her and i know that doing so would be just a bit over-reacting. I want to be tactful about this and not do so in front of her and her kid. and i honestly feel she doesn't have a clue that she screwed up royally. The most important part i want her to understand is that i had to apologize to alot of people around me because of her behavior and that because i had to tend to her crap because she wouldn't i missed alot of panels, and alot of time i had scheduled for people that she knew about.
thank you for at least taking a look, i figure i must be doing better if i am trying to make an effort to just let her have it.
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