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So here I am, legs all trembly, sweating, and giving off a smell that could tarnish brass. Why? Because I just returned from the gym and I'm feeling quite proud of myself. The problem is, however, that tonight was the first time I'd been to the gym in about six or seven months despite the fact that every month I've been paying $29 for the privilege of not going to the gym.
See, my problem is that even when I go at 1 in the morning, as I did tonight, there are always those people (you know who you are) who go to the gym even when they blatantly do not need to be there, what with their rippling muscles, flawless butts, and statuesque legs. You people make me, with a body that makes people sad, and with man boobs that make the phrase "Knock yourself out" a personal challenge, very self-conscious. Yes, I know you're there maintaining what you've got. However, when pale, flabby weaklings like myself encounter people like you, it makes us want to go home and let another six or seven months pass before we try risking it again.
Why am I like this? For the simple reason that as a child, I was quite fat and graceless, and could count on making an absolute fool of myself in any given situation in which physical prowess was required. I dreaded P.E. I loved rainy days and cold weather because it meant I could stay inside. I lost all of that weight through a concerted effort in high school, and by my first go-round through college, I looked mad sex-ay. I maintained this lower weight for several years before I finally came to terms with the fact that I despise exercise because it bores me shitless.
Lately, however, it has come to my attention that none of my pants fit, nor do any of my good dress shirts, and I don't have the money to go out and get new ones. So... It's work out or go around naked and horrify people with my jiggly gut, cottage cheese ass, and man boobs. However again, even when all these physical failings are cunningly hidden by t-shirt and sweatpants, I see all the beautiful people at the gym, even in the middle of the night, and I want to scurry away.
How can I overcome this? I know in my mind that if I go there consistently, I'll get back to where I was. I know this. But when I go, I feel intimidated and painfully self-conscious.
Any tips?
See, my problem is that even when I go at 1 in the morning, as I did tonight, there are always those people (you know who you are) who go to the gym even when they blatantly do not need to be there, what with their rippling muscles, flawless butts, and statuesque legs. You people make me, with a body that makes people sad, and with man boobs that make the phrase "Knock yourself out" a personal challenge, very self-conscious. Yes, I know you're there maintaining what you've got. However, when pale, flabby weaklings like myself encounter people like you, it makes us want to go home and let another six or seven months pass before we try risking it again.
Why am I like this? For the simple reason that as a child, I was quite fat and graceless, and could count on making an absolute fool of myself in any given situation in which physical prowess was required. I dreaded P.E. I loved rainy days and cold weather because it meant I could stay inside. I lost all of that weight through a concerted effort in high school, and by my first go-round through college, I looked mad sex-ay. I maintained this lower weight for several years before I finally came to terms with the fact that I despise exercise because it bores me shitless.
Lately, however, it has come to my attention that none of my pants fit, nor do any of my good dress shirts, and I don't have the money to go out and get new ones. So... It's work out or go around naked and horrify people with my jiggly gut, cottage cheese ass, and man boobs. However again, even when all these physical failings are cunningly hidden by t-shirt and sweatpants, I see all the beautiful people at the gym, even in the middle of the night, and I want to scurry away.
How can I overcome this? I know in my mind that if I go there consistently, I'll get back to where I was. I know this. But when I go, I feel intimidated and painfully self-conscious.
Any tips?
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