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Betrayed by "friends"
So, yeah. I met this girl (let's call her S) who was working at the Walgreen's down the street from me. She seemed like a pretty cool person, we got to know each other, and I asked if she'd like to hang out some time. She agreed and gave me her number. She introduced me to her best friend (BF) and her boyfriend, and we started hanging out and doing nerdy things (Mostly playing board games.)
Now, it was pretty clear from the start that we weren't going to be more than friends. She's a pretty aggressive agnostic, I'm a devout Christian, I'm a libertarian socially and a conservative economically, she's a devoted liberal (I would almost say extreme left wing) and she's told me multiple times I am not attractive to her and she finds me considerably unattractive (rude, but, I'm used to it and tried not to take offense.)
I replied every time that I understood, I was fine being friends, and she would not be someone I was interested in either because of our differing beliefs. However, I have always believed making friends across those lines is a good way to build tolerance and understanding, not to mention, if I ever were to share the Gospel, it makes sense to build up to it and show her first the kind of life I lead and what I'm like (lead by example, rather than let her keep her preconceptions about Christians) and that works far better than beating someone over the head with the Bible. Besides, even if she never was interested, I can always use another friend.
However, she just couldn't seem to get it through her head that I was ok with being just friends. I would do nice things for her, like tell her about jobs I heard of, offer to cook us dinner (all of us, not just her and I), lending BF and her boyfriend some video game stuff and the like, and she kept taking it as I was interested in her and wanted to bed her. (I will agree I called too much sometimes when she didn't answer, but half the time we had made plans and she suddenly disappeared and wouldn't return my calls around the time we were supposed to hang out! Drove me CRAZY.)
So, I talked with her best friend about it (she brought it up) and she said she would try to explain my point of view to S. So, the next thing I know, the BF's boyfriend is calling me up today telling me that none of them want anything to do with me anymore. This is after a few months of hanging out, not once did S ever talk to me directly about this, and this was the first I had heard since hanging out with the three of them Monday, when everything seemed fine.
So, yeah, I'm kinda crying as I type this. I'm really hurt, and this just seems to keep happening-people don't get me, even when I make things as clear as I can, and I am so sick of being misjudged, mistreated, and rejected (and she basically called me ugly in the bargain,) by people who I thought liked me and people in general. I just feel so worthless right now. Guess this is more of a rant, but I just had to get this out somewhere.
Now, it was pretty clear from the start that we weren't going to be more than friends. She's a pretty aggressive agnostic, I'm a devout Christian, I'm a libertarian socially and a conservative economically, she's a devoted liberal (I would almost say extreme left wing) and she's told me multiple times I am not attractive to her and she finds me considerably unattractive (rude, but, I'm used to it and tried not to take offense.)
I replied every time that I understood, I was fine being friends, and she would not be someone I was interested in either because of our differing beliefs. However, I have always believed making friends across those lines is a good way to build tolerance and understanding, not to mention, if I ever were to share the Gospel, it makes sense to build up to it and show her first the kind of life I lead and what I'm like (lead by example, rather than let her keep her preconceptions about Christians) and that works far better than beating someone over the head with the Bible. Besides, even if she never was interested, I can always use another friend.
However, she just couldn't seem to get it through her head that I was ok with being just friends. I would do nice things for her, like tell her about jobs I heard of, offer to cook us dinner (all of us, not just her and I), lending BF and her boyfriend some video game stuff and the like, and she kept taking it as I was interested in her and wanted to bed her. (I will agree I called too much sometimes when she didn't answer, but half the time we had made plans and she suddenly disappeared and wouldn't return my calls around the time we were supposed to hang out! Drove me CRAZY.)
So, I talked with her best friend about it (she brought it up) and she said she would try to explain my point of view to S. So, the next thing I know, the BF's boyfriend is calling me up today telling me that none of them want anything to do with me anymore. This is after a few months of hanging out, not once did S ever talk to me directly about this, and this was the first I had heard since hanging out with the three of them Monday, when everything seemed fine.
So, yeah, I'm kinda crying as I type this. I'm really hurt, and this just seems to keep happening-people don't get me, even when I make things as clear as I can, and I am so sick of being misjudged, mistreated, and rejected (and she basically called me ugly in the bargain,) by people who I thought liked me and people in general. I just feel so worthless right now. Guess this is more of a rant, but I just had to get this out somewhere.
I am so sorry. You didn't deserve any of that, not her constant harping about being "just friends" (you'd already said OK once!) and certainly not her comments about your being unattractive (I am older and more cynical and that is the point at which I would've said, "Righto!" and walked away. There was NO call for that; it was rude, nasty and demeaning).
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