What would you do/think

[Zellie Crescent]

I have to agree with Greenday, I'd be very suspiscous and have my worries if it was just me he wanted to take to his home country for a month with him paying for everything. I'm pretty sure my answer would be no.That would make me nervous without kids, but if I did have kids my answer would definitely be no. Me and my (not yet existant) kids being in this guys home country for a month with him paying for everything, it might be just me but it just seems way off and not right.

[Seshat]

If I do say yes, I keep the return tickets and passports. That's non-negotiable.

Find - now - a bank you will be able to walk to from his house. Organise to own a safe deposit box: in your own name. Store them there, not in his house. Along with notarised copies of your other IDs. Banks should have notaries.

[mathnerd]

Thank you everybody, for your thoughts and opinions. There were, of course, a few other details that required consideration. They've been considered. I talked to him this afternoon. I told him that the offer was incredible, and I'd love to take him up on the offer, but I'd rather spend some time dating him here and be in a more committed, serious relationship before I took a trip like that with him. He's going again late fall and asked if I'd consider going then. I told him if we were more serious at that point, then yet. He then asked if that meant we were dating again, and I said "yeah, I suppose it does." I clarified again that we were starting from the beginning. I'm not ready to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire, so to speak. We have to take this slowly if it's going to work. He seemed okay with that. We shall see.

[sms001]

but I'd rather spend some time dating him here .... have to take this slowly if it's going to work.

Perfect! Seems a pretty good sign that he's not insistent, maybe just trying to rekindle a spark was his motive all along.

[wolfie]

Mathnerd, something that hasn't been mentioned in this thread yet but that deserves SERIOUS consideration - in this guy's home country, how good are the medical facilities, and are food-preparers (both commercial and his family) allergy-aware? Is the local cuisine tomato-intensive (e.g. Italy), or do they have the 1800s American attitude (i.e. "Tomatoes are poisonous")? Also (if you react to potatoes - they're part of the Nightshade family, just like tomatoes), are potatoes a common food in that part of the world?

[MoonCat]

Mathnerd, something that hasn't been mentioned in this thread yet but that deserves SERIOUS consideration - in this guy's home country, how good are the medical facilities, and are food-preparers (both commercial and his family) allergy-aware? Is the local cuisine tomato-intensive (e.g. Italy), or do they have the 1800s American attitude (i.e. "Tomatoes are poisonous")? Also (if you react to potatoes - they're part of the Nightshade family, just like tomatoes), are potatoes a common food in that part of the world?

If it's Italy, a lot of Italian cuisine doesn't involve tomatoes at all. It depends on the region. Tomatoes are more an Italian-American thing. But food allergies in general are definitely something to keep in mind when traveling/living in a foreign country.