Really? (Bit long)

[NYTCRAWLER94]

I....just don't know what to think about her anymore, at this point



Bit of a background: I met my gf a while ago online, on World of WarCraft, and to be quite honest, things seemed to be going pretty well (Keep in mind, I'm in WI, while she's way over in California).....After talkin' with her, getting to know her a bit, I discovered that we have at least one thing in common (it being that we BOTH have lost someone who was very close to us)....I'm not really at liberty to disclose anything more than that, unfortunately.



A while ago, I tried talkin' to her, see how she was, and instead, I spoke with one of her room-mates who informed me that the gf was dealing with family issues at the time, so she would be gone for a while, so that basically meant that I had no way of getting a hold of her, really, since she had no internet access, where she was (she had my Skype info, ik this). She does have a cell phone, but, to my understanding, she has been pretty iffy about giving that information out, due to unfortunate circumstances in the past



Fast forward.....I finally heard back from her, so, I'm thinking to myself "My patience paid off, and she was actually happy to talk to me again (or so I thought)



What went down between the two of us, yesterday has got me thinking there's absolutely no hope for her, much less our relationship...Following is as close to verbatim as I can get:



gf: Did you talk to someone on your mage, yesterday?
Me: I did, yes. Why?
gf: You need to stop acting like me
Me: I wasn't acting like you at all
gf: Fucking bullshit



Apparently, a friend of hers saw me on my mage, thought it was the gf, but, it should have been quite obvious that it was not her, especially from my interaction with him (Yes, my mage has the same name as my gf's mage toon, but, that's beside the point)....I even told her friend that I was NOT her, but did that stop my gf from going completely batshit on me? Nope.


I honestly feel that she was over-reacting to what went on (and this isn't the first time she's over-reacted, btw)....I'm thinking she just needs time to cool off, but, do I really want to do that? As it is now, I'm so ready to cut her off/move on

[Sapphire Silk]

Cut her and move on. You've never even met her in person, and she's moody, defensive and accusatory.

Believe me, it will not get any better from here.

[taxguykarl]

Sapphire Silk is right. Nothing good will come of continuing a relation with her. Cut your losses and move on.

[Akasa]

You do NOT need the drama in your life continuing association with her will bring.

[Gravekeeper]

Transfer servers. >.>

[Kittish]

Transfer servers. >.>

That only works if Nyt doesn't have her real ID or battle tag friended. If you do decide to do a server transfer, though, you're welcome to move to my server, Misha. Misha-Rexxar I guess I should say now. My guild is tiny small (just me, boyfriend and a couple other friends), but you're also welcome to wear our tag, <Monster Hunters>. Oh, guess I should also mention we're Alliance.

I'm not sure what happens on the other end if you remove someone from your real ID list, but it's probably not a bad idea to do so, if you have her tagged and do decide to cut contact.

And weighing in with another cut it and move on. I met my boyfriend online, and we played WoW together for a long time before I moved out here to be with him (four years ago and counting, one of the smarter things I've done it turns out). Long distance online relationships don't always go badly. Just mostly it would appear.

[Sapphire Silk]

I met my ex online. We later met in person at an event hosted by a mutual online friend. Things just took off from there; we connected very quickly.

Online relationships are just another way to meet people. Eventually you do need to meet in person for it to be anything real. Otherwise, you're just engaging in fantasy.

The failure of my marriage had nothing to do with how we met. It had to do with how we both behaved later on in the relationship. I see nothing wrong with meeting people online. However, for it to be a real relationship, you do have to meet and have a relationship in person.

That's risky for the folks who are separated by hundreds, even thousands of miles. The one who travels takes a tremendous risk if the relationship doesn't work out. But I don't see anything wrong with that, either. Risk taking is part of ANY relationship; if you're not willing to take risks then no relationship is likely to work out.

Some of our members here have taken that risk, and are in relationships even though some of them are still separated by miles they've actually managed to meet in person. Even if those relationships don't work out long term, they took risks and so will be better off in the long run for having taken that risk, had the experience, and can move on to bigger or better things.

But when you don't even meet the person you're "in a relationship" with, you have to be more cautious about calling that relationship anything concrete. It's just disembodied data; there is no real commitment on the part of one person or the other. And then when one partner starts acting all paranoid? Why? Why be paranoid over someone you have never actually met? That kind of behavior is a big red flag. It tells me that the person is possessive, and that's not a relationship. That's dominance. It's damned unhealthy in person, and just as much so online.

The OP hasn't posted anything back, so I don't know what he thinks of what we've told him, but I hope he takes it to heart: dump this crazy broad, but don't be afraid to connect with someone else online. Just don't call it a relationship until you start having something in person.

[blas]

Meh, I'm turned off of online dating since the City Slicker Manbaby.

Granted, anyone can pretend or be on their best behavior temporarily, but this guy did it better than I've ever seen before.

Once we'd met and gone on a few dates and he figured he had me exclusively, then it was like when an actor steps off the set and goes back to being their real self, if that self is particularly bratty and impatient and rude.

[telecom_goddess]

I met my gf online, and no we haven't met in person yet, we've been together seven months. The plan is for her to move out here with me, we just don't know when that will happen yet.

It's a real relationship to me, even if we haven't met yet. We talk every day, text, chat on fb, email. We send each other our things, so we have bits of the other person with us all the time.

It works for us until she can get here

[Kittish]

Online relationships are just another way to meet people. Eventually you do need to meet in person for it to be anything real. Otherwise, you're just engaging in fantasy.
<snip>
Just don't call it a relationship until you start having something in person.

I have to disagree a bit with the 'it isn't real til you've met in person'. My boyfriend and I were in a solid relationship for about a year before I moved out here. When I got here was the first time we met in the flesh.

To be fair, we web cammed with each other almost nightly for most of the relationship, and we talked on the phone pretty much daily as well as hanging out together on line. So we'd 'met' face to face as it were before I moved out here.

[Sapphire Silk]

I have to disagree a bit with the 'it isn't real til you've met in person'. My boyfriend and I were in a solid relationship for about a year before I moved out here. When I got here was the first time we met in the flesh.

To be fair, we web cammed with each other almost nightly for most of the relationship, and we talked on the phone pretty much daily as well as hanging out together on line. So we'd 'met' face to face as it were before I moved out here.

It worked out for you and that's just awesome. But there is no commitment in long distance relationships, which is why I'm skeptical of them.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I have to disagree a bit with the 'it isn't real til you've met in person'. My boyfriend and I were in a solid relationship for about a year before I moved out here. When I got here was the first time we met in the flesh.

To be fair, we web cammed with each other almost nightly for most of the relationship, and we talked on the phone pretty much daily as well as hanging out together on line. So we'd 'met' face to face as it were before I moved out here.

If I understand correctly, the OP doesn't even have this person's phone number, and he doesn't seem to be entirely clear on why she doesn't share it (perhaps he is and just doesn't want to share the reason here, which is fine, but the way it's worded seems otherwise). Not saying these things can't work out, but that right there just strikes me as odd.

[cleorose]

You know I played evony for years and I found that MOST relationships that started in a game usually ended badly.

On server 92 (where i started) the host and his wife ran the first alliance I joined. She would go crazy if someone uttered one bad word about their alliance in world chat. She would then get on her hubbys account and declare. On everyone. They would then leave the server four weeks after the start because they were that toxic. I went to bed one night a nobody in my alliance and woke up a host of the most hated alliance on the server. Oh joy. They were the least crazy.

Same server I ended up in a major war alliance. One day the Vice host started getting down and dirty with the VH of another alliance supposedly our ally and sister. She flashed her boobs at him and he gave her his password to his account to "LOOK around". She booted everyone from our alliance, changed the passwords. And started attacking. With his account and hers. She then decided her alliance was out to get her. So he started scouting from outside accounts to find out what her own teammates had. Those that she could beat or had alot of goodies she booted and attacked.

Had another host on 144 who hooked up with GF somewhere on a previous gf and they moved in together. She quit and he did not. He had like 15 accounts and she got mad and reset the lot. Most people who play and he was no exception dump money into these accounts. His account probably had at least 200 dollars dumped on to it. No telling how much he dumped into his other accounts.

I had one vh who convinced everyone she was a supermodel and famous actress and would buy them coins if they bought her first. Her pic was actually Kara dioguardi (American idol fame) and that was not the name the person was using. In fact her so called CANDID shot was a newspaper clipping and they had no other pics of themselves. I was booted for calling them out as scammers.

I could tell you more but yeh they dont get any better.

[Gravekeeper]

I've seen more Guilds and Alliances crumble under the drama of one couple than I care to count. >.>

The only two that never caused any chaos were two of my guildies in the late years of DaoC. Who mainly played stoned on weed and on Ventrilo.