I may lose my niece forever

[MoonCat]

Lauren is absolutely being cared for properly it's just that jamie is a shitty influence on her, and the stuff she says around her especially about Mike isn't right. I'm going to talk more about this with my mother as soon as I get home from work today.

Okaaay, then to be frank I don't see the courts agreeing to Lauren being adopted by your mom or anybody else. Obviously I could be way wrong, and I agree from your earlier posts that Jamie's behavior is not the best influence. Now it's very possible that they may agree that Mike might be a better custodial parent. The thing about him taking Lauren from Jamie without the courts involved is that she could make trouble about it. It sounds like she likes to use access to Lauren to make you and your mom get off her back about her bad behavior. If she doesn't want to lose her leverage, she won't agree to let Mike take custody, at least not without a fight.

Have you considered family counseling for all of you together? It might help everybody, including Jamie, to focus on what's best for Lauren.

[Zellie Crescent]

I just finished talking with my mom about this and she told me to just drop it and let it go, so sadly we're going to at least for now going to end up letting jamie use Lauren to play on our feelings to get whatever she wants. I do want to thank you for all of your advice though and I'm sorry I couldn't use it, I think this is going to be the last time I ever mention jamie.

[Seshat]

Study Axis II disorders - and other personality disorders and problems.

Especially study the assorted ways that people successfully live with/around the people who have those disorders. Yes, including methods which are flat-out manipulative.

I know one woman who successfully trained her father to behave nicely when she was around by flatly refusing to accept misbehaviour from him. She saw any, she got up and left. It took a few times before he realised she was truly serious, but he valued being with her, so he learned to behave.

That, obviously, is not the specific solution for your case: I present it only to show that at least in some cases, the techniques work.

Also learn techniques for keeping yourself sane despite her manipulations. Clearly, if you want Lauren in your life, you will probably have to deal with Jamie being in your life. So learn to protect yourself.

[Zellie Crescent]

I'll look up the disorders and the techniques for dealing with them. That's the only thing I have to say for right now, I'm going to focus on other stuff that won't stress me out.