Tweet
So, my finances are a wreck, let's get that out of the way.
I owe $4000 in student loans still (which, I know isn't horrible, but still, a debt is a debt), have a $350 a month car payment (really should have gotten a less expensive car, that car has become a bit of an albatross), and a credit card debt load that is approaching $5000 when combining my different cards. Every time I run a theoretical budget, it shows that we should be able to easily stay afloat and even build a bit of an emergency fund while paying down debt at a decent rate off of my husband and I each working just one full time job, even without the help of roommates. The reality though is that I am working two jobs and we have two roommates (one of whom is actually reliable) and we are still falling behind.
Now, me mentioning one roommate being reliable... yeah, the other is most definitely part of the problem... she is a month and a half behind on rent (she pays every month, but has never paid the full amount) and has suckered my husband and I into loaning her nearly $1000 (granted, not all at once, I was actually surprised to see it had gotten that high and cut off any future loans as soon as I found that out). I do believe her when she says that she wants to pay us back, I don't doubt her convictions, what I doubt is her ability. Either way, she won't be pulling us down any further, she has already decided that she is going to move back in with her father so she can see her daughter more often, she intends to do this as soon as her probation can get transferred to Clark county where her father lives. This is the two in the one two punch of having our godson fuck us over royally (nearly $1500 that he is never going to repay us).
I have my suspicions that the rest of the problem is the fact that we have trouble controlling money... and when I say we, I will admit my own problems, but I think my husband is worse. He's before complained that I have no right to complain about money when I make impulse buys like downloading a game off of Steam... yeah, that was a $10 game on sale and has been one of maybe three impulse buys in the last couple of months... he'll every other day buy lunch and/or dinner at a fast food restaurant because he doesn't feel like cooking or he doesn't want to take lunch with him to work. He'll make the point that he isn't spending more than about $5 to $10 when he does that, but when it happens a few times a week it adds up. Hell, one week he spent over $400 taking himself and friends out to eat literally every single day. Yet I'm the one who has a problem with my impulse buys? Hell, there have been a few times when I've been out with my little (I volunteer with BBBS) and we've stopped at McDonalds or similar and I've let him know that he doesn't need to cook for me because I already ate and he said, "well, in that case I'm just going to go out." Fine, whatever, I guess that is fair for him to stop at like McDonalds or similar also... nope, he's gone to a nicer Chinese restaurant and spent nearly twice as much as I spent on myself and my little combined... and of course, it's my fault for deciding we would be eating out that night.
The second job is keeping us from going under, but I physically can't handle it for much longer. I know the long hours are wearing me out and I know from the last time I got sick that if I get sick again, I'll simply have to quit my second job because I can't get better while working 13 hour days and I can't take the time off my first job to fully recover and my second won't tolerate me working at my first without going to them also. And when I say I can't afford to miss time at my first job, I'm not just talking money, I'm talking about missing deadlines and having my performance reviews suffer.
So, the options we have.
All the options involve me locking the credit cards in the safe and keeping out only the gas card (it offers enough of a discount on gas by using it that we'd be stupid to use cash) and then give ourselves a cash allowance that we can't go over.
Now for the variable options.
1. Replace our roommate with a more reliable one, we already have one who has shown interest and has references that will attest to his reliability. This combined with a drastic reduction in spending will allow me to leave my second job and still catch up on our debts. The drawback to this is that it wouldn't be enough for me to go back to school to take the last few classes I need to take to be eligible to sit for the CPA exam, which ultimately is what will allow me to get a better job. I do have an inheritance I could use to pay for school, but I would like to save that as a worst case scenario because I'd rather use that inheritance as either the start of a retirement fund or the down payment for a house when I'm at a place in my career that it makes sense to settle down into our own home.
2. Sign over the lease to our more reliable roommate, he gets the more reliable roommate that had shown interest, he does whatever he needs to do, we move back in with my mother. This may be our best option, because she would let us live there essentially for the cost of doing her cleaning and yard work and a share of utilities, so when combined with our cutbacks, I can leave my second job, still pay down debts, and probably be able to afford to go to school with minimal new debt/cashing out of inheritances. The downside to this option is rather obvious, we'd be living with my mother. Granted, the reasons may not be as obvious, no one wants to have to move back in with their parents, but in my case, I have no problem with it, it is a sacrifice that is worth making if it helps us in the long run... my husband however is adamantly opposed to it, he really doesn't want to move in with her. The part of me that is bitter that I am working two jobs, 65 hours a week, no full days off, is still expected to do at least half of the household chores while my husband has 3 days off a week can't take over more of the household responsibilities because he's "too tired" thinks a lot of it is that he doesn't like that my mom doesn't love him like I do and won't put up with any of that shit. In fairness, his job is very physically demanding, he works in the packaging department of a food manufacturer, constantly moving, constantly lifting, constantly being told to go faster, all while working in what is essentially a giant walk in freezer. Truth be told, that's exactly what he is afraid of... whether or not he is just being lazy or if the job really is that tiring that it takes three whole days to recover, mom thinks that it is that he is lazy.
So essentially, no really good option. Either take the better living conditions now but at the expense of long term growth or take the long term growth at the expense of putting us in a living situation my husband will absolutely despise and I'm not thrilled at. Maybe a second opinion on which option y'alls would choose if you were in the situation would help.
I owe $4000 in student loans still (which, I know isn't horrible, but still, a debt is a debt), have a $350 a month car payment (really should have gotten a less expensive car, that car has become a bit of an albatross), and a credit card debt load that is approaching $5000 when combining my different cards. Every time I run a theoretical budget, it shows that we should be able to easily stay afloat and even build a bit of an emergency fund while paying down debt at a decent rate off of my husband and I each working just one full time job, even without the help of roommates. The reality though is that I am working two jobs and we have two roommates (one of whom is actually reliable) and we are still falling behind.
Now, me mentioning one roommate being reliable... yeah, the other is most definitely part of the problem... she is a month and a half behind on rent (she pays every month, but has never paid the full amount) and has suckered my husband and I into loaning her nearly $1000 (granted, not all at once, I was actually surprised to see it had gotten that high and cut off any future loans as soon as I found that out). I do believe her when she says that she wants to pay us back, I don't doubt her convictions, what I doubt is her ability. Either way, she won't be pulling us down any further, she has already decided that she is going to move back in with her father so she can see her daughter more often, she intends to do this as soon as her probation can get transferred to Clark county where her father lives. This is the two in the one two punch of having our godson fuck us over royally (nearly $1500 that he is never going to repay us).
I have my suspicions that the rest of the problem is the fact that we have trouble controlling money... and when I say we, I will admit my own problems, but I think my husband is worse. He's before complained that I have no right to complain about money when I make impulse buys like downloading a game off of Steam... yeah, that was a $10 game on sale and has been one of maybe three impulse buys in the last couple of months... he'll every other day buy lunch and/or dinner at a fast food restaurant because he doesn't feel like cooking or he doesn't want to take lunch with him to work. He'll make the point that he isn't spending more than about $5 to $10 when he does that, but when it happens a few times a week it adds up. Hell, one week he spent over $400 taking himself and friends out to eat literally every single day. Yet I'm the one who has a problem with my impulse buys? Hell, there have been a few times when I've been out with my little (I volunteer with BBBS) and we've stopped at McDonalds or similar and I've let him know that he doesn't need to cook for me because I already ate and he said, "well, in that case I'm just going to go out." Fine, whatever, I guess that is fair for him to stop at like McDonalds or similar also... nope, he's gone to a nicer Chinese restaurant and spent nearly twice as much as I spent on myself and my little combined... and of course, it's my fault for deciding we would be eating out that night.
The second job is keeping us from going under, but I physically can't handle it for much longer. I know the long hours are wearing me out and I know from the last time I got sick that if I get sick again, I'll simply have to quit my second job because I can't get better while working 13 hour days and I can't take the time off my first job to fully recover and my second won't tolerate me working at my first without going to them also. And when I say I can't afford to miss time at my first job, I'm not just talking money, I'm talking about missing deadlines and having my performance reviews suffer.
So, the options we have.
All the options involve me locking the credit cards in the safe and keeping out only the gas card (it offers enough of a discount on gas by using it that we'd be stupid to use cash) and then give ourselves a cash allowance that we can't go over.
Now for the variable options.
1. Replace our roommate with a more reliable one, we already have one who has shown interest and has references that will attest to his reliability. This combined with a drastic reduction in spending will allow me to leave my second job and still catch up on our debts. The drawback to this is that it wouldn't be enough for me to go back to school to take the last few classes I need to take to be eligible to sit for the CPA exam, which ultimately is what will allow me to get a better job. I do have an inheritance I could use to pay for school, but I would like to save that as a worst case scenario because I'd rather use that inheritance as either the start of a retirement fund or the down payment for a house when I'm at a place in my career that it makes sense to settle down into our own home.
2. Sign over the lease to our more reliable roommate, he gets the more reliable roommate that had shown interest, he does whatever he needs to do, we move back in with my mother. This may be our best option, because she would let us live there essentially for the cost of doing her cleaning and yard work and a share of utilities, so when combined with our cutbacks, I can leave my second job, still pay down debts, and probably be able to afford to go to school with minimal new debt/cashing out of inheritances. The downside to this option is rather obvious, we'd be living with my mother. Granted, the reasons may not be as obvious, no one wants to have to move back in with their parents, but in my case, I have no problem with it, it is a sacrifice that is worth making if it helps us in the long run... my husband however is adamantly opposed to it, he really doesn't want to move in with her. The part of me that is bitter that I am working two jobs, 65 hours a week, no full days off, is still expected to do at least half of the household chores while my husband has 3 days off a week can't take over more of the household responsibilities because he's "too tired" thinks a lot of it is that he doesn't like that my mom doesn't love him like I do and won't put up with any of that shit. In fairness, his job is very physically demanding, he works in the packaging department of a food manufacturer, constantly moving, constantly lifting, constantly being told to go faster, all while working in what is essentially a giant walk in freezer. Truth be told, that's exactly what he is afraid of... whether or not he is just being lazy or if the job really is that tiring that it takes three whole days to recover, mom thinks that it is that he is lazy.
So essentially, no really good option. Either take the better living conditions now but at the expense of long term growth or take the long term growth at the expense of putting us in a living situation my husband will absolutely despise and I'm not thrilled at. Maybe a second opinion on which option y'alls would choose if you were in the situation would help.
Comment