Troubles In Paradise

[Sableonblonde]

I'm just curious about other people's views on this.

I share a house with three people. All was well for a time, and then our landlord, who owned the house and lived with us as well, passed away a few months ago, and his son moved into his old room.

My housemate and I just kind of assumed (you know what happens when you assume) that the son would take care of running the house and being responsible for general upkeep. (Like his father had done). Especially because of the fact that he doesn't work (is on unemployment) and doesn't really...do anything...all day. But it soon became clear that he has no real interest in doing chores or maintaining the house, and actually expected that we would be responsible for that. He and my housemate (I stay out of everything) have gotten into several arguements over who should do what, and the son pretty much ordered my housemate to be responsible for certain chores.

Now, I don't even think the son is actually the landlord per se - because we pay our rent to another sibling, who lives out of state and takes care of the finances. I think it's more like he's just living here.

Now, here's my thing. If the son doesn't want to be responsible for buying household supplies or doing any of the household chores, is it fair for him to tell my housemate that HE needs to be responsible for certain chores? (We're dealing with two lazy people here). Does he have a right to tell anyone what to do? I understand the fact that it was his father's house makes it more HIS house than ours, but he isn't paying anything to live here, and the rest of us are, so does that cancel it out?

My housemate and I admittedly have a lot of hard feelings because we both work full-time, and the son does nothing but lounge around all day, and then won't take care of anything around the house but then reprimands us for not taking care of things. I just don't think it's fair to try to boss us around when he's not even technically our landlord...wondering what others make of this?

[Flying Grype]

Two things:

First, the kid who lives there, if he isn't the landlord, is not responsible for maintenance and supplies. It's the landlord's responsibility to ensure that those things happen. Contact the out-of-town sibling, if s/he is the actual landlord, and ask why these things aren't being done. The landlord needs to know this because it's possible that s/he is expecting or paying the kid to be the property manager (which means taking care of things like that for a landlord who doesn't live nearby), and if that's the case things may change.

Second, if you can't stand to live with the kid because he doesn't clean up after himself and harasses you guys, let the landlord know about that, and be ready to leave. That's what you would do in any other bad-roomie situation, and it shouldn't make a difference that the roomie is related to the landlord.

Aside: your hard feelings about the kid's lack of job are something you need to suck up and keep quiet. If he was clean and polite it wouldn't be any of your business whether he was unemployed or why. Stick with the facts -- he's difficult to live with and he's messy, and it directly affects your ability to live there comfortably.

[Sableonblonde]

You keep referring to him as a kid, but he's actually 50 years old LOL

[Flying Grype]

Meh, he's acting like a kid. I figured he might be older, but the word was still appropriate.

Bottom line is, the other sibling is responsible for a lot of this stuff because s/he is the landlord. That's who you need to complain to. Research tenants' rights in your area and know what you are and are not entitled to, and then go ask them what's going on.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Major maintenance is the responsibility of the landlord. If the son didn't inherit the house, you need to take it up with whoever now owns the house.

If he is living there, job or no, rent or no, he should be contributing his fair share to chores and shared items like cleaning supplies and whatnot. He is a roommate like everyone else, and it's not fair for him to contribute nothing. And he certainly doesn't have the right to order people around.

Sounds like it's time for a house meeting where you can work out a schedule for chores so that everyone puts in their share.

[Jester]

Despite what many have said here, I am going to say that he may actually have the right to order others in the house around.

I'll explain.

The landlord is, by the OP's account, the roommate's sibling. The OP and the other roommates should talk to the landlord and find out just what standing, if any, the roommate has in the house. For all we know, the landlord may have told their brother that he can do whatever the hell he wants. And if that is the case, then yes, he has the right, as given to him by the landlord, to be an ass.

My guess, though, is that that is not the case, and that the roommate is abusing the privilege of free rent, and thinking that he gets to do whatever he wants and boss others around because it was his father's house.

First priority: talk to the landlord, find out of if the roommate is acting like an ass on his own, or if this is being allowed by the landlord. If it is not behavior condoned by the landlord, the landlord should be informed immediately and fully of the situation. If the landlord did give him that right, or just doesn't care, the best thing to do is just to swallow your pride and your tongue and deal with the situation as well as possible. Until, that is, you can find another place.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Despite what many have said here, I am going to say that he may actually have the right to order others in the house around.

I still don't think it gives him the right to order people around. They're all adults; he's not their father. They really all need to sit down and establish some house rules. He does live there, after all, he should contribute his share to the things that affect them all.

[PepperElf]

i would also suggest looking over the lease and looking at the local renter's laws.

if he's making a mess and expecting everyone else to clean up after him that could be another issue as well.

if anything, the abusive behavior might be enough to let you break the lease without being punished for it.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Call a magistrate and ask what the protocol is for that. You have a contract with the deceased landlord, not the son, so you may need to negotiate the contract.

Laws about living in places, renting, ect, are tricky. So find out who exactly the landlord is and call someone who knows what the laws are in your area for council.

He actually legally might be in his rights to act like this. However, you might not have a contract with him that prevents your up and leaving. Find out what everyone's rights are and draw up a new contract (or better, find out how fast you can leave).

[Jester]

I still don't think it gives him the right to order people around.

I never suggested he had the moral right. He doesn't. Just the possibly legal right and, far more importantly, the realistic right, i.e., his sibling is the landlord and allows him to do such.

You have a contract with the deceased landlord, not the son, so you may need to negotiate the contract.

Actually, from what the OP said, the new landlord is not the douchebag roommate, but one of his siblings, who apparently inherited the house and the lease with the roommates from the deceased father. The douchebag roommate is not the landlord....his sibling is. And while I am not a lawyer, I imagine the lease allows for the deceased landlord's designated heir to take over his part of the contract, i.e., becoming their new landlord. So the contract (lease) is already negotiated, and has not changed...only the actual landlord has changed, and thus the terms of the lease are the same, if that makes sense.

[Sableonblonde]

We don't have a lease, actually, or any kind of contract. We pay by the month, and are free to leave (and be kicked out, I imagine LoL) at any time.

Things have been smoothed over, by and large. As far as the sibling's role in the house, I know my housemate talked to the new landlord before her brother moved in, and she told him (jokingly?) to "take care of" her brother. But I think we've all come to an agreement, and will be ok...