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...sort of.
Here's the thing: I adore my friend, but she's a bit of a flake. She's never on time anywhere, she's incredibly picky, things always have to run on her schedule and to her preferences, she won't drive (she's 28), and is always running around doing whatever strikes her fancy: wearing fairy wings, dancing in the street, etc. She's a blast to be around, but a little exhausting.
She really hated living in Southern California, and ended up meeting a guy online from Oregon. Last summer, she quit her job and decided to spend the summer with him and his family (they'd met in person several times by then). We all pretty much assumed that she'd never actually move back, and sure enough, summer came and went, and she was still there: apparently she gets along great with this guy's mom.
A few months ago, she quietly told a few close friends that she was engaged: her mom didn't really approve of this guy, so she wanted to keep it quiet. We all understood that, and were happy for her.
On Tuesday night, she was tagged in a photo on Facebook: a friend of hers posted a photo of my friend and her guy and said, "You guys are the cutest newlyweds ever!"
Yes, she'd gotten married without telling any of us that she was doing so. (to her credit, she did NOT intend for us to find out via Facebook, and was already working on some nice photo announcement cards to be sent personally). She apologized profusely on Facebook, telling us that she and the guy had decided only a week and a half beforehand that they wanted to get married right then, etc, etc.
Lots of people have been posting on her comment, saying "Oh, we're not mad, no-one could be mad about this, congratulations, blah blah blah"
Well...I AM mad! And quite hurt, too: did she think her friends wouldn't want to be with her on that special day? Or, if she really was insistent on getting married that quickly, that we wouldn't want to at least send a gift and keep her in our thoughts that day??
Am I wrong to feel really hurt by this?
Here's the thing: I adore my friend, but she's a bit of a flake. She's never on time anywhere, she's incredibly picky, things always have to run on her schedule and to her preferences, she won't drive (she's 28), and is always running around doing whatever strikes her fancy: wearing fairy wings, dancing in the street, etc. She's a blast to be around, but a little exhausting.
She really hated living in Southern California, and ended up meeting a guy online from Oregon. Last summer, she quit her job and decided to spend the summer with him and his family (they'd met in person several times by then). We all pretty much assumed that she'd never actually move back, and sure enough, summer came and went, and she was still there: apparently she gets along great with this guy's mom.
A few months ago, she quietly told a few close friends that she was engaged: her mom didn't really approve of this guy, so she wanted to keep it quiet. We all understood that, and were happy for her.
On Tuesday night, she was tagged in a photo on Facebook: a friend of hers posted a photo of my friend and her guy and said, "You guys are the cutest newlyweds ever!"
Yes, she'd gotten married without telling any of us that she was doing so. (to her credit, she did NOT intend for us to find out via Facebook, and was already working on some nice photo announcement cards to be sent personally). She apologized profusely on Facebook, telling us that she and the guy had decided only a week and a half beforehand that they wanted to get married right then, etc, etc.
Lots of people have been posting on her comment, saying "Oh, we're not mad, no-one could be mad about this, congratulations, blah blah blah"
Well...I AM mad! And quite hurt, too: did she think her friends wouldn't want to be with her on that special day? Or, if she really was insistent on getting married that quickly, that we wouldn't want to at least send a gift and keep her in our thoughts that day??
Am I wrong to feel really hurt by this?
And truth be told, there's a good number of us who would have been really happy to make that trip, and we'd even mentioned that to her before. I dunno: the whole thing, combined with the move (which was sudden), just feels a little like she's trying to cut us out of her new life. I don't think that's what she intends to do, but it does feel a little like that.
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