Help me help me

[Becks]

There's always Wisconsin Dells. (Not all of it is water parks!) I seem to remember a nice little boat tour on the Wisconsin River.

Oh, and the Circus World Museum in Baraboo...

[AdminAssistant]

Kansas City, Missouri has gambling boats, since legally, they can't have a casino on LAND. so they put a boat over a river. It doesn't float or sail, but legally its in water.

I don't think many of the casinos are actually out in the water any more, most of the casinos are up in the northland in neighborhoods that, frankly, I wouldn't want to be in. Too many other fun things to do in KC, IMO. Oh, and if you do swing through this way you have to eat at Oklahoma Joe's in either KCK or Olathe. It's the best barbeque in the world, srsly.

[Whiskey]

I don't think many of the casinos are actually out in the water any more, most of the casinos are up in the northland in neighborhoods that, frankly, I wouldn't want to be in. Too many other fun things to do in KC, IMO. Oh, and if you do swing through this way you have to eat at Oklahoma Joe's in either KCK or Olathe. It's the best barbeque in the world, srsly.

Its not actually out on water, nor is it an actual boat. I'm talking about (and now the name comes to me) Ameristar and the other two (?) around there. I could never explain that law or those casinos very well. Theres another BBQ place in Olathe (i used to live in that city! OP/Olathe for 2 years ) that starts with a Z..

[Eireann]

Other suggestions?

[Jester]

Any more? There must be more... right?

Tons more. Let me tell you......

My suggestion is that you stick with the smaller highways, like Route 66, that go thru a lot of small towns rather than major interstates that only go thru the big towns.

Yes and no. If you just want to meander, take the smaller roads. If you decide on specific places to visit, the Interstates will get you there faster. All depends on what your goals are.

That being said, I spent the better part of a year and a half in 1998 and 1999 roadtripping around the U.S. I not only have suggestions of places to visit, but also, if you need them, I have Road Warrior Survival Tips.

For now, some of the better places to visit:

Boston. It's Boston.

Chicago. It's Chicago. The Lakefront is awesome to walk/jog/bike/rollerblade/people watch.

New York City. It's New York City. (And it has one of the two coolest book stores ever, Strand's, which is right up there with Portland's Powell's Books.) These first three should not require much elaboration.

Cape Cod. Beautiful place, lots of cool towns, great beaches, great seafood, and Provincetown, one of the more offbeat places you may ever get to.

Key West. See "Cape Cod," then add more quirkiness, more bars, and better year round weather. And, of course, ME.

Washington, D.C. I never saw the cherry blossoms, and I never cared. Although I always assumed I would never really like DC, I fell in love with it my first time there. If you are even vaguely into history or architecture, this place has both in spades. I am more a history guy myself, but the brilliance in the layout of the Mall is simply astounding. I can't explain it, but if you're ever there, you'll understand. Museums up the yin yang, more to see than most places that aren't named "New York" or "Boston," and just an all-around good time.

San Francisco. I could never live there, for several reasons, but one of the coolest places I have ever been, except for the screwy and bizarre weather there. I've been there three times, and had a blast every time. Best Chinese food you'll get in this country, period. (If you go, ask me or others for recommendations...not every place there is worth it.) Great seafood, great collection of bars....major beer town. Good sports town. Lots to see. Try the sourdough bread....though being from Oregon, you may know this already. And if you like garlic, you HAVE to have a meal at the Stinking Rose on Kearny....it's a garlic restaurant, and it rocks.

Seattle...the only cold weather city I've been to I would consider living in. But you're from Oregon. I don't need to explain.

The Grand Canyon. Highly recommended, but if you don't like heat, don't go in the summer....you'll fry. Either way, I have some desert dweller tips that will put you ahead of most if you decide to hike the canyon. If you're in northern Arizona, also check out Flagstaff, Prescott, and/or Sedona. Very cool.

Phoenix. My home town. I have often said of Phoenix that it's a great place to live, but I wouldn't want to visit there. It's a place where you really need to know where to go, because unlike Key West, just wandering around won't get you to cool stuff. Avoid the Zoo. It sucks. The Desert Botanical Gardens next to the Zoo are, however, definitely worth it. Ditto Taliesin West east of Scottsdale, Frank Lloyd Wright's winter retreat. I was taken there thinking I would hate it, and have been recommending it to anyone and everyone ever since.

Jack Daniel's Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee. Ya know all those magazine ads for Jack Daniel's, portraying Lynchburg as this tiny little town? No way something as known worldwide could still come out of there, right? Wrong. It really is that small, that cool, and that funky. But of course, if you go, you have to take the Distillery tour. Which may be lost on a non-drinker like you, but still very cool.

Florida's Gulf Coast (Tampa, Clearwater, Fort Myers, Naples). The coolness that is Florida without the lameness that is Miami and the rest of the east coast of Florida. Less people, more fun, less bullshit.

Austin, Texas. Hard to believe this little college town is the center of power in the vastness of Texas. Fun town, fun downtown strip, great music scene.

Sandusky, Ohio. Home of Cedar Point, the greatest amusement park if you are into roller coasters, because that is the majority of their rides. They are the Coaster Capitol, and it shows. If you don't like roller coasters, skip this....you'll hate it.

The Jersey Shore. Despite the tv show that is putrid, lame, and obnoxious, this is the one part of New Jersey I will defend against all detractors, for the Jersey Shore is awesomeness incarnate, despite all the bad accents you'll hear. And if you go to Wildwood....."watch the tram cars, please."

Savannah, Georgia. Wish I had had more time and better company when I was there, and I desperately want to go back. Great history, great architecture, great personality, great scene.

Fort Lauderdale/Hollywood, Florida. If you find yourself on the east coast of Florida, these are the places to go. Fun, fun, fun. Unless you don't drink, which you don't. Nevermind. Head up the coast to St. Augustine for history and museums, or to Cape Canaveral for the whole NASA thing.

New Orleans. Much like NYC, Boston, and Chi-town, this requires little explanation. And despite the party atmosphere, a non-drinker can have much fun in the Big Easy. Some of the best food you'll ever find, not just the native cajun places, but even eateries of other locales and ethnicities....food is as much a part of Nawlins as music, and both are exemplary here. Probably the best party town for a non-partier ever.

L.A. Venice Beach. Hollywood Boulevard. Clubs. Food. Shopping. People watching. Beautiful weather. Everything you could ever ask for in a major metropolis. I'd live there, if it wasn't for the fact that they also have the worst traffic EVER.

Rapid City, South Dakota. When I first drove up the road to Mount Rushmore, it looked puny and I thought, "What the hell? Another thing they lied about?" It was a letdown.....until I got up closer, and realized the sheer amazingness of it. Absolutely worth stopping in if you are anywhere near it. If you go, don't miss the huge Maze that is in town, just away from Rushmore. Fun times!

The Cheese Palace, somewhere in east South Dakota. Sounds horribly tacky, and I only stopped in because I was due for a stretch and a break from driving, but surprisingly cool roadside attraction.

Las Vegas. It's Vegas, baby! Keep in mind, I Don't Gamble. (And casinos frown on magicians gambling, anyways.) And I had a blast. Sure, I was being paid to be there. (Yes, seriously.) But it was still fun. Great shows to see, great fun to be had. Some things are overpriced (most expensive sushi lunch I've ever had, and while good, not the best by a long shot), but there is just so much to DO in Vegas!

Twin Cities. I had a surprisingly fun time in Minneapolis/St. Paul. Lots to do, never got bored. I would personally never go there in the winter (they plug their cars in to keep them from overheating!), but I was there in the summer and it was awesome!

Canton, Ohio. If you are a football fan, you HAVE to go to the Pro Football Hall of Fame here. If you can time it so you are there for the Induction Ceremonies in August, so much the better. If you are not a football fan, ignore this suggestion, and definitely avoid the area in early August.....the traffic will bog you down.

Cooperstown, New York. Baseball Hall of Fame. If you are a baseball fan, GO! I didn't love it nearly as much as I loved Canton, but the history is longer and more storied...they just don't display it as well as Canton does. If you are not a baseball fan, ignore this.

San Diego. Lots to do there, plenty of fun in the Gas Lamp District, lots of beaches. I myself am NOT a fan of Diego, but I kind of get what so many people see in it. I am in the minority of people who don't like it, by the way. Also a hop, skip, and a jump to Tijuana for cheap shopping (and cheap drinking, but that's more my bag than yours).

Tucson. The Airplane Graveyard. If you've seen "Can't Buy Me Love" (or several other movies featuring the Boneyard), you've seen this place. Amazing place.

Tombstone, Arizona. Self-explanatory.

St. Louis. I personally did not care for this town at all....EXCEPT for the Gateway Arch, which is amazing. If you go, you have to go UP IN the Arch. The view from in there has melted away my anger, frustration, and annoyances. Twice. Which is the same number of times I've been up in the Arch. The view from up in there is breathtaking, and like nothing else you'll ever see.

Orlando, Florida. If you like amusement parks, this is Ground Zero. If you don't, skip O-town.

Mystic, Connecticut. The pizza place is cool, but you need to go for the boat yards. Both as a child and as an adult they mesmerized me.

The Redwood Forest in northern California. It silenced ME. 'Nuff said.

I have not been to, but have heard wonderful things about Myrtle Beach, Dallas, Hilton Head, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Maine, Galveston, and the Maryland Shore.

I am going to get slammed for this, but in my opinion, you should avoid northern New Jersey (other than passing through to go to NYC, or to visit the Six Flags there), Miami, St. Louis (unless you are going to the Arch), and Houston. Lame and rude; lame, rude, and violent; boring and lame; huge and boring as hell. These are just my opinions, and I am often wrong. (Except Miami. It really does blow.) I also don't like San Diego, but I think that is more of a me thing than an SD thing. I am also anti-Alburquerque, but again, that's probably more me.

I think that covers my adventures in this country.....the ones worth mentioning, anyway.

[Plaidman]

Portland Ore! I'll like, walk around a park with ya.

[Jester]

Plaid, you DO know that she is FROM Oregon, and is undoubtedly very familiar with Portland, right?

[r2cagle]

Niagara Falls is always worth the trip. But it's been years since I've been there, couldn't tell you where to stay or eat up there.

[AdminAssistant]

Jack Daniel's Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee. Ya know all those magazine ads for Jack Daniel's, portraying Lynchburg as this tiny little town? No way something as known worldwide could still come out of there, right? Wrong. It really is that small, that cool, and that funky. But of course, if you go, you have to take the Distillery tour. Which may be lost on a non-drinker like you, but still very cool.

*snip*

St. Louis. I personally did not care for this town at all....EXCEPT for the Gateway Arch, which is amazing. If you go, you have to go UP IN the Arch. The view from in there has melted away my anger, frustration, and annoyances. Twice. Which is the same number of times I've been up in the Arch. The view from up in there is breathtaking, and like nothing else you'll ever see.

It's worth mentioning that Lynchburg, Tennessee is in a dry county, and at the end of the distillery tour you get very nice homemade lemonade. If you're in that part of the world, you would be remiss to skip out on Memphis. Beale Street is usually overrated, but it can be fun. There's also tons of blues (of course), BBQ (skip any place associated with Food Network), the National Civil Rights Museum (very cool), and pretty much everything Elvis-related that you can possibly imagine. If you like country/bluegrass music, then Nashville is a must-do. It also has an awesome zoo (or at least it did when I was a kid). The Smokies are gorgeous, but if you're already doing the Ozarks, then you might get your fill of hill culture.

St. Louis - I didn't care much for the Arch. If you're at all claustrophobic, then it is not for you. (And I didn't think the view was that great.) The City Museum is pretty awesome from what I've heard. But overall, there's more stuff to do in Kansas City. And, well, I live near there, which raises the awesomeness factor of Kansas City to unknown heights.

[Plaidman]

Plaid, you DO know that she is FROM Oregon, and is undoubtedly very familiar with Portland, right?

Just... offering someone to hang out with for a day.... I'll back off. Sorry.

[Jester]

It's worth mentioning that Lynchburg, Tennessee is in a dry county, and at the end of the distillery tour you get very nice homemade lemonade.

Eireann doesn't drink, so this would not matter to her, methinks.

However, it is also worth mentioning for others that the county is not completely dry. For one thing, the alcohol ban only applies to liquor, not beer or wine. Secondly, at the Distillery itself, you CAN buy bottles of Jack Daniel's, due to a special dispensation the Distillery received from the county. This is as of my tour there in 1999. I have heard that the dry rules have gotten even more relaxed than then, though I can't provide precise details, as this was related to me by a customer, and I can't recall exactly what they said about it.

St. Louis - I didn't care much for the Arch. If you're at all claustrophobic, then it is not for you. (And I didn't think the view was that great.)

AA is right about the claustrophobic part...the trams that take you up through the leg of the Arch to the top is rather....cozy, to be polite.

That being said, opinions vary. I loved the Arch. I know not everyone does. I also know lots of people love Miami. I just don't happen to be one of them. Etc., etc., etc.

Just... offering someone to hang out with for a day.... I'll back off. Sorry.

Dude, stop. Seriously. I was just saying that if you were suggesting Portland as a place for her to visit, she's been there. I was in no way saying she shouldn't hang out with you.

Pick your self-esteem up off the floor and stop being a dork, ya goof.

And for goodness sake, stop apologizing. To me or anyone else. Especially to me.

[Plaidman]

Dude, stop. Seriously. I was just saying that if you were suggesting Portland as a place for her to visit, she's been there. I was in no way saying she shouldn't hang out with you.

Pick your self-esteem up off the floor and stop being a dork, ya goof.

And for goodness sake, stop apologizing. To me or anyone else. Especially to me.

Belive me, past few days my self esteem has never been so low. Just gets worst every passing moment I just wanna scream.

[Seshat]

One of my most memorable US experiences was walking through a temperate, deciduous, northern-hemisphere forest (ie, incredibly exotic to me!), with a biologist who'd grown up next to the that forest.

I can strongly recommend popping by any ecosystem that's exotic to you and touring it, ideally with a guide who knows it.

Places I would like to go in the States, from that POV, in no particular order:

The glacier-flood region in Washington State and its eastern neighbour.

The mesa/badlands area of the southwest desert.

California redwood forests.

Yellowstone. (Preferably not when the caldera volcano blows! )

Any of the 'classic' northern temperate forests, in Spring or Summer. (I was there in Autumn.)

The Mississippi. If I'm feeelthy reeech, a houseboat down the full length, with a hired boatsman/guide.

The bayou. With insect repellent.

The everglades. Also with insect repellent.

The Great Lakes.

Probably the Florida Keys - they're a separate ecosystem from the everglades.

And yes, while I'm dreaming, the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, etc etc. But it's more the ecosystems for me.

[Eireann]

Whoa - such good suggestions!

First, Plaidman: With your hip in the condition that it is, why not meet at the cafe in Powell's, or at Old Town Pizza, where you don't have to do any walking?

Jester: THANKS! I'd forgotten that you had put in all that mileage cross-country. Such wonderful tips!

Everyone: There are certain places I'm not overly interested in visiting, so I'll list as many as I can think of here, so that you don't feel the need to suggest them.

Vegas (and most of Nevada)
Salt Lake City (though if I do, Smiley's getting a visit!)
Wyoming
Michigan
Indiana
Mississippi
Alabama

Now, if you can think of good reasons to visit any of these places, please go ahead and tell me what they are. I'm still open to suggestions.

One of the great things about this thread is, it's good for anyone planning a vacation, not just me. I like the idea that I can provide a service to the wonderful people on this site.

One other very important thing: I am deeply, vitally interested in haunted tourism. So hauntedheadnc, heads up! I'm definitely going to visit your neck of the woods. I also want to see Salem (Massachusetts), the haunted sites of New Orleans, and basically, every place that has a ghost tour. I also thought of visiting Bobby Mackey's Bar in Kentucky. Anyone been there? Can anyone recommend ghost tours and/or haunted places to visit?

[Plaidman]

One other very important thing: I am deeply, vitally interested in haunted tourism. So hauntedheadnc, heads up! I'm definitely going to visit your neck of the woods. I also want to see Salem (Massachusetts), the haunted sites of New Orleans, and basically, every place that has a ghost tour. I also thought of visiting Bobby Mackey's Bar in Kentucky. Anyone been there? Can anyone recommend ghost tours and/or haunted places to visit?

Shanghai Tunnels. Right under Portland. DId a tour before. Pretty spooky sometimes, and ya learn alot about Portland's past as a slaving operation.