Battle of Depression.

[Mytical]

Some good things to have/know when battling depression

A support group. People you can talk to who won't judge you, and you can just let go in front of. My PM door is always open. Yell, scream, cry, I won't judge..but I will listen.

Realize that depression is an Illness. Some people get 'down' occasionally and think they know depression. It may not be something you can fight on your own. Be willing to accept this. Medication might be needed, or therapy. It is NOT you or your fault. It is a medical problem!

Write. Even if you are an absolute horrible writer, write. Sharing that darkness, makes it less dark. Even if it is to nothing more then a piece of paper, or word processor. Even if you delete it or burn it right after. Write.

All the above will help, a little..but don't expect it to be a cure all. Have somebody you can call when things just get too bad. Anybody..and talk.

Socialize. Yes, believe it or not..even if you dread it, fear it, or don't feel like it..having people around you can help.

Know that you are not alone, even if we can't be right beside you. It's better if you can find people who CAN be right beside you, however.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Socialize. Yes, believe it or not..even if you dread it, fear it, or don't feel like it..having people around you can help.

This is definitely one I have to work on. Dread, fear...sounds about right...

[Seshat]

Hopefully it'll change sooner, rather then later. At least my hip problem. If that goes away, and I get a girl, then world will finally be color rather then the pitch black hateful place it is.

I missed this.

Plaid, I hate to ruin your dream - I really, really do - but as you know, I have both a husband and a wife; and the world is still not colour for me.

Yes, they are what keeps me going. But what made the biggest difference recently was not them themselves, but the pain management program. (Admittedly, they helped me find it, supported me through it, and are helping me maintain the physiotherapy and OT and so forth that the program prescribed.)

Another person is not the solution. Other people can help with the solution, but they are not *the* solution.

Next month I have a psychiatric appointment. We'll work on stronger meds than my family doctor feels comfortable prescribing, and see where that gets us. Unfortunately, the psychologist I tried didn't work out (she was an absolute FLAKE about turning up to appointments!), so we're going to have to try again with an -ologist.

A - my wife - is VERY confident that the psych work will take me up to 'seeing in colour'. The pain management course changed my life from pitch black to shades of grey, so ... cross fingers.


My main point here, though, is that other people - loves, family, etc - are not a solution. They're partners to help you find solutions, but they are not, in and of themselves, solutions.

I've heard this belief called 'Cinderella syndrome'. Helpless little Cinderella waits around for a Handsome Prince to fix her life. She COULD do so many things. She could go out and find herself a husband for herself. She could go out and take a job elsewhere: by the time the story starts, she's fully capable of running a house on her own, including lady's maid duties! If the house was left to her, she could even go find a lawyer, claim the house, and kick her stepmother and stepsisters out. She could feed her stepmother the business end of the broom.

Don't fall into Cinderella syndrome, Plaid. You are your own handsome prince. Fix your own life, one bit at a time.

[Whiskey]

I've heard this belief called 'Cinderella syndrome'.

I had Cinderella Syndrome badly. I grew up similar, so much so my grandma went from calling me Cinderella to a more pop culture-esque 'harry potter', and it just stuck. Finally I realized, all the relationships, the turmoil, the being rescued only meant I was dependent on someone else for.. something. I wasn't even happy.

You know what makes me happy? Paying my god drat rent. Putting gas in my car. Going to get a matching wall cabinet for my bathroom. Weird, right? You know what they have in common right now? I have to ask zero permission for shit. I don't have to ask for money, I don't have to coordinate my schedule, I don't have to worry about anything but me. When my ducks are in a row, i'll worry about someone else too, but right now I am the most important thing in my life. You need to be the most important thing in yours. People are unstable, you can't rely on someone else being happy to make you happy.

[Seshat]

And that's a freedom I have to envy. I can't do that.

Sure, I don't have to ask for permission, but me and D and A needs to have overall agreement for all non-essential expenditure. And in tight times, for essential expenditure as well.

People often don't talk about the down-side of relationships, even the happy ones. It exists. For every lonely Saturday night a singleton has, there's a frustrating Saturday night someone in a couple/group has where they just want a quiet night but the living room is occupied by their loves watching Kingdom Hospital. Loudly.

Or the money you'd counted on to get your new (and needed) bras is suddenly spent on a broken tooth. And not yours, either.

Or SOMEONE used up all the hot water. Or left the toilet seat up/down. Or let the unused pasta get dried up and stuck in the pot. Or....

Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't give them up! But every choice in life has its for and its against.

[Taboo]

Hey, Plaid. I saw this before and have actually been putting off on replying to it because... well, I'm incredibly depressed right now myself, and I'm not sure I'm really able to give much good advice right now. That said though, I'm pulling for you and hoping things improve.

Seshat and Whiskey both have really good advice.

*hugs*

[BookstoreEscapee]

I'm reading this book at the moment:
Undoing Depression: What Therapy Doesn't Teach You and Medication Can't Give You by Richard O'Connor. The latest edition just came out in January of this year (I've had it since then but just started reading it this past week).

This is the author's website. http://www.undoingdepression.com/


I'm not far enough into it to say if it'll help, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

[Iris Kojiro]

Good luck, Plaidman. Depression is hard to deal with, and I've dealt with it for a while too. It takes a lot of courage to admit you need help.

I'm calling my doctor now, who I haven't seen in about four years (for a well visit). This is scary, I must admit...

ETA: Crap...I just realized I was a necromancer and bumped an old thread. Sorry!

[Plaidman]

It's fine Iris Kojiro.

I'm still keeping an eye on it.

I'm even on new meds, though it hasn't quite kick in. Even had some nice PM's with other members.

I'm still depress at times. Mostly at two things now rather then the world. Though world still makes me angry alot.

[Magpie]

I'm still depress at times. Mostly at two things now rather then the world. Though world still makes me angry alot.

Hey, you're down to two things from the entire world. That sounds like a good step. When "Walter" found one type of anti-depressants that actually worked for him he was still angry all the time (perhaps more often). Thank you for keeping us updated .

[Iris Kojiro]

(clean for 14 years, folks) .

Congratulations on being clean for so long. I can't say that I've had to battle an addiction that strong...I could not imagine how tough that was.

As far as pills go, I'm hoping to take pills for only a while...I've never taken a med that wasn't an antibiotic or a vitamin. Perhaps the pills will jump-start the brain and everything else will come natural. Or so I hope. I have an appointment set for the end of the week, so we'll see what happens.

[Seshat]

In some depressive cases, the pills can be a temporary thing. In others, it's more as if the pancreas isn't making insulin - you need the insulin, you have to get it from somewhere, and if your body doesn't make it, you need to get it from outside.

Be prepared to accept that you may need to take meds your whole life; and be prepared to accept that you might not. You and your psychiatrist will work out which type you are.

(Unfortunately, this can't be done by blood test - there's a special filter inside the skull that ensures the brain's blood supply and the body's blood supply are chemically different. Short of drilling a hole in the skull, there's no way to check your brain chemistry directly. A lot of psychiatry is still informed guesswork, it's just much more informed than it was half a century ago.)

[Maximillion]

Hello Mr. Plaid

I myself have been going through a rut. I feel depressed and it's like a roller coaster sometimes. I can't afford therapy so I don't even know if it's clinical depression or me just being extremely moody. I'm moving in a month to another state to stay with my boyfriend and I'm a little scared. I was there for a week in July. I know it's risky but if I don't go i'll feel like I'm missing out on one of the greatest adventures of my life.

Also, I'm knee deep in medical bills that have already been sent to collections because I'm too chickenshut to call and make payment arrangements. It seems very immature but it's true. I also have tow ankles that are always in pain. The right one I twisted when I was 8 and the left one I sprained when I was 19 then sprained it again right before my 21st birthday. Since I only got medical attention for the second sprain, they both plague me daily. Though it isn't at all like the pain you're experiencing with your hip, it's still pain and walking long distances is hard for me now.

I finally had them looked at yesterday only for the doctor to tell me I'm overworking my ankles. (I work at least 5 graveyard shifts a week, at least 3 back-to-back. This week is 5 in a row because the other graveyard person has company coming in. Lucky bastard but anyway...) they gave me a light duty note that will piss off my GM because I'm the most reliable graveyard person she's got right now.

I don't know much about you since I was inactive for a very long time until recently, but I can tell you have a big heart and it breaks mine to see anyone in pain. Seeing so much support from evewyone should be a sign right there. Even if you can't see us and vice versa, we care. everyone is deserving of love and kindness, no matter the situation. I'm probably not making much sense but I want you to know I believe in you. You're going to end up on top of this though it will take time.


And believe me, relationships will only do so much for how you feel. They aren't the answer. Though my boyfriend is very supportive, his physical absence makes things difficult for me.


I'm always around to PM if you want. It'll give me a good reason to sit my ass down at work like the doctor suggested.

Hope this helps.