Tweet
Life has been unkind to me lately, but I have many ambitious goals on the horizon, so I'm doing my best to take it all in stride. One of my guilty pleasures is grocery shopping in the middle of the night so that I have time to wander, brood, and generally be my goofy self without herds of cattle giving me the stink eye. Given that I'm kind enough to reserve my hunter/gatherer rituals to hours when most of society is at home sleeping, I would thank the gods not to play 4 songs in a row of "you're the only one for me" themed songs over the loud speaker to remind me of why I'm shopping for one these days.
Solitude I can deal with, but lately for reasons unknown I can't keep one of my exes out of my head. What's worse is that we still talk, we agree that we're absolutely perfect for eachother except that 1; she lives 5 hours from here, and 2; she just celebrated 6 months with the only decent guy she's found in the last few years, whom I respect.
When things get bad for either of us it's our custom to reach out to the other and talk about it in great detail and with full disclosure of heart, soul, and mind...this never fails to make even the darkest of situations seem not so bad. In a recent communication I told her that if I die first I want her to speak at my funeral because she knows who I really am better than anyone I know...myself included. Not unusual, I know, everyone probably has a friend that they can say that about, but she's the only person who has accepted me for everything that I am and never judged me for what I'm not.
This is getting incredibly sappy, I know, but it gets better.
"I wish you could just come up here and start a new life."
You have no idea how tempting that prospect is right now. Real life and responsibilities are one hell of a buzz kill and as much as it sucks I need to push through this one and hope the hell that somewhere in the great blue tomorrow we cross paths again under favorable circumstances.
It may sound callous, but my recent attempts at dating have been extremely boring and all around frustrating. Maybe it's because I'm comparing them all to her or maybe I'm just not in a good place to be half of a whole right now. In any event, I would prefer that this story arc be carried along by something other than alcohol or anger.
"...and like the angel you are left creating a brightness in my chest...."
Solitude I can deal with, but lately for reasons unknown I can't keep one of my exes out of my head. What's worse is that we still talk, we agree that we're absolutely perfect for eachother except that 1; she lives 5 hours from here, and 2; she just celebrated 6 months with the only decent guy she's found in the last few years, whom I respect.
When things get bad for either of us it's our custom to reach out to the other and talk about it in great detail and with full disclosure of heart, soul, and mind...this never fails to make even the darkest of situations seem not so bad. In a recent communication I told her that if I die first I want her to speak at my funeral because she knows who I really am better than anyone I know...myself included. Not unusual, I know, everyone probably has a friend that they can say that about, but she's the only person who has accepted me for everything that I am and never judged me for what I'm not.
This is getting incredibly sappy, I know, but it gets better.
"I wish you could just come up here and start a new life."
You have no idea how tempting that prospect is right now. Real life and responsibilities are one hell of a buzz kill and as much as it sucks I need to push through this one and hope the hell that somewhere in the great blue tomorrow we cross paths again under favorable circumstances.
It may sound callous, but my recent attempts at dating have been extremely boring and all around frustrating. Maybe it's because I'm comparing them all to her or maybe I'm just not in a good place to be half of a whole right now. In any event, I would prefer that this story arc be carried along by something other than alcohol or anger.
"...and like the angel you are left creating a brightness in my chest...."
Comment