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This is part looking for advice but mostly just ranting/venting, since I don't think there is much advice to be given in this situation. But if anyone does have any suggestions, I'm all ears!
My husband has a co-worker, K. I've talked about (and complained about) K before, both here and on Fratching. He's part of our D&D group, and every single time we (or anyone else) gets together with him, for ANYTHING (going to dinner, or a movie, or getting together for D&D, anything), he is ALWAYS late. I've known him for several years now (ever since my husband and I started dating) and he has never once been on time to anything. I think the closest he's been is 15-20 minutes late, and he is frequently 40-60 minutes late for get-togethers and has been as late as two and a half hours.
It absolutely infuriates me, and my husband. We are very punctual people. We like to be on time. We don't get pissy with our other friends when they're up to half an hour late for D&D...there's traffic, or you get up late, or whatever. No big deal. Plus they usually don't make a habit of being late every single week. But when K is consistently, every single week, an hour or more late... it is really starting to grate on our nerves. It's even worse when we make plans to go out to dinner with him; we'll get to the restaurant at, say, 6, which is when we planned to meet. K will show up at 6:30...maybe. For that half hour, we wait, and we wait, and we wait, and we don't order, and we keep the wait staff waiting as well, and it makes me, personally, feel like an ass for holding up a table for half an hour.
When I invite him over to our house for dinner, I don't bother waiting for him; if everyone else has arrived and is hungry, we eat, and if K shows up 45 minutes later and the food is cold, well, he has to heat it up in the microwave if he wants it hot.
My husband is especially annoyed with him today, because K apparently took over an hour to eat lunch. My husband and K, and usually a fairly large group of people from where they work, will go out to lunch together a few times a week. Their work is really lenient about lunch hours and even when everyone comes in in the morning (they're all salaried so as long as they work at least 40 hours a week and get all their work done, the company doesn't really care how long they take for lunch or when they come in in the morning. The managers generally want everyone in by 9am at the latest, but K usually shows up around 10am or later; something I really wish his manager would buckle down on, since it might make him more punctual in general if he had to actually be in to work at a certain time.)
Anyway, so today they went to lunch and apparently K sl-ow-ly picked over his food for an hour before he decided he was finished. (including travel time to and from their company, they were gone an hour and 45 minutes.) Everyone else had long since finished and were waiting for him; my husband was pissed by the time they actually left, because the longer they take for lunch, the longer he has to stay past 5pm to get all of his work done that he could've been doing if they had gotten back sooner.
I asked my husband why he and his co-workers don't just leave K at the restaurant if he wants to take so long to eat (seriously, it's what I would do if I went to lunch with him as often as they did, and he always takes the longest to eat out of everyone.) They all car pool, so I suggested they tell K to bring his own vehicle since he always takes the longest. Husband said that he would be willing to tell K that, but the rest of his co-workers wouldn't go for it; he said they're "too nice." So instead, they all get to sit there for an extra half hour waiting for one person to pick at his food.
I don't know how to handle this situation. I don't even know if it's possible to do so. We have told K, repeatedly, in varying degrees of niceness, how annoyed and upset we get when he is constantly late to functions (we really lost it with him the one time he was two and a half hours late coming over to our place for lunch and D&D.) He just. does. not. get. it. One of the other guys in the D&D group says that he's known other people like this, who just cannot be on time to anything ever to save their lives. He says they're just..."wired" that way. No matter what you say or do (letting the food get cold if he's late coming over for dinner, starting D&D without him and him missing out on loot and experience for all the time he's gone, etc.) they will always be late. You can't change it.
I really want to kick him out of our D&D group, but I think we're all too nice for it (I would if everyone else in the group would get behind me, but the other guys are kind of like "well, whatever, he's not really hurting anything by being late"...which is kind of true, because even when he is there, he doesn't actually do anything. Seriously, he's one of the worst role players I have ever met...)
And he's so nonchalant about it too. "Oh, well, sorry I'm late, traffic was bad" is his normal excuse. When he's an hour late. And we meet at the same time, at the same place, every week. Seriously, you would think that if traffic is bad at noon every Sunday going the route you go to get somewhere, that you could learn to leave half an hour earlier to get there on time. But no. Not K. Still late every week. Still blaming it on traffic.
I swear he has the IQ of a rock.
My husband has a co-worker, K. I've talked about (and complained about) K before, both here and on Fratching. He's part of our D&D group, and every single time we (or anyone else) gets together with him, for ANYTHING (going to dinner, or a movie, or getting together for D&D, anything), he is ALWAYS late. I've known him for several years now (ever since my husband and I started dating) and he has never once been on time to anything. I think the closest he's been is 15-20 minutes late, and he is frequently 40-60 minutes late for get-togethers and has been as late as two and a half hours.
It absolutely infuriates me, and my husband. We are very punctual people. We like to be on time. We don't get pissy with our other friends when they're up to half an hour late for D&D...there's traffic, or you get up late, or whatever. No big deal. Plus they usually don't make a habit of being late every single week. But when K is consistently, every single week, an hour or more late... it is really starting to grate on our nerves. It's even worse when we make plans to go out to dinner with him; we'll get to the restaurant at, say, 6, which is when we planned to meet. K will show up at 6:30...maybe. For that half hour, we wait, and we wait, and we wait, and we don't order, and we keep the wait staff waiting as well, and it makes me, personally, feel like an ass for holding up a table for half an hour.
When I invite him over to our house for dinner, I don't bother waiting for him; if everyone else has arrived and is hungry, we eat, and if K shows up 45 minutes later and the food is cold, well, he has to heat it up in the microwave if he wants it hot.
My husband is especially annoyed with him today, because K apparently took over an hour to eat lunch. My husband and K, and usually a fairly large group of people from where they work, will go out to lunch together a few times a week. Their work is really lenient about lunch hours and even when everyone comes in in the morning (they're all salaried so as long as they work at least 40 hours a week and get all their work done, the company doesn't really care how long they take for lunch or when they come in in the morning. The managers generally want everyone in by 9am at the latest, but K usually shows up around 10am or later; something I really wish his manager would buckle down on, since it might make him more punctual in general if he had to actually be in to work at a certain time.)
Anyway, so today they went to lunch and apparently K sl-ow-ly picked over his food for an hour before he decided he was finished. (including travel time to and from their company, they were gone an hour and 45 minutes.) Everyone else had long since finished and were waiting for him; my husband was pissed by the time they actually left, because the longer they take for lunch, the longer he has to stay past 5pm to get all of his work done that he could've been doing if they had gotten back sooner.
I asked my husband why he and his co-workers don't just leave K at the restaurant if he wants to take so long to eat (seriously, it's what I would do if I went to lunch with him as often as they did, and he always takes the longest to eat out of everyone.) They all car pool, so I suggested they tell K to bring his own vehicle since he always takes the longest. Husband said that he would be willing to tell K that, but the rest of his co-workers wouldn't go for it; he said they're "too nice." So instead, they all get to sit there for an extra half hour waiting for one person to pick at his food.
I don't know how to handle this situation. I don't even know if it's possible to do so. We have told K, repeatedly, in varying degrees of niceness, how annoyed and upset we get when he is constantly late to functions (we really lost it with him the one time he was two and a half hours late coming over to our place for lunch and D&D.) He just. does. not. get. it. One of the other guys in the D&D group says that he's known other people like this, who just cannot be on time to anything ever to save their lives. He says they're just..."wired" that way. No matter what you say or do (letting the food get cold if he's late coming over for dinner, starting D&D without him and him missing out on loot and experience for all the time he's gone, etc.) they will always be late. You can't change it.
I really want to kick him out of our D&D group, but I think we're all too nice for it (I would if everyone else in the group would get behind me, but the other guys are kind of like "well, whatever, he's not really hurting anything by being late"...which is kind of true, because even when he is there, he doesn't actually do anything. Seriously, he's one of the worst role players I have ever met...)
And he's so nonchalant about it too. "Oh, well, sorry I'm late, traffic was bad" is his normal excuse. When he's an hour late. And we meet at the same time, at the same place, every week. Seriously, you would think that if traffic is bad at noon every Sunday going the route you go to get somewhere, that you could learn to leave half an hour earlier to get there on time. But no. Not K. Still late every week. Still blaming it on traffic.
I swear he has the IQ of a rock.
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