That's... disturbing...

[Imogene]

I worked a closing shift last night, and, during a quiet moment, was sitting there, listening to the silence and the thoughts drifting through my head. I very briefly 'heard' a thought that I pulled to the front of my mind...
"I'm not sure I've ever actually been happy..."
That alone creeped me right out, but as I started to think about it... I really can't remember a time I've ever been genuinely happy. I've put on the facade, I do the peppy bubbly stuff... I just don't know.

[Whiskey]

Everyone gets that thought. Its either fake it till you make it or wallow in despair. From personal experience, the latter doesnt improve things much.

It also depends on what kind of "happy" youre referring to.

[Imogene]

I don't really know how to describe it beyond I don't really express emotion, it seems... I'm not entirely sure I even have emotion, some times...

[Seshat]

Flatness of mood does exist, and can be a problem.

But as Whiskey said: that is a thought that everyone has, from time to time.

The difference between normal and abnormal is whether you're content as you are, and functional as you are. If you're basically content, don't drive yourself into discontent trying to fix what ain't broken!

[Whiskey]

I don't really know how to describe it beyond I don't really express emotion, it seems... I'm not entirely sure I even have emotion, some times...

ive seen you express emotion on the boards. Right now you're displaying "concern"

[Imogene]

Okay, so I do have some emotions... It might just be the more light hearted ones I can't/don't do...

[Megg]

People can be blinded to their good points just as much as they are blind to their faults. I'm just sayin' ...

[teh_blumchenkinder]

I think I have an idea of what you mean, Juwl.
I don't usually get happy about something-- it's excitement or hyperness. I'm enthusiastic about said event, and it's a positive emotion-- but not happiness (usually). I have fun, and during said fun, I can experience happiness-- and even more rarely, joy -- but just like anger and depression (the small kind of depression, not any of the other 3 categories I've experienced... I need a bigger lexical access to 'depression') I don't experience them often.
(I've also experienced joy/happiness unattached to a 'fun' situation-- like more recently, the moon around my neck of the woods has been amazing lately!)
Seshat, what you said about normal and abnormal stuff helps. As it is, I'm still trying to get a hold of 'it's okay not to experience anger like most of the population,' ie able to hold onto it. For me, it always slides away after I'm done thinking about it; or even at the tail-end of thinking about what ever made me angry.
Also, I think I've gone 'round the bend, or am starting to: during my Latin test (the first one of the semester, both in all my classes and in Latin; I was way behind and had not a whole lot of time to cram-- or it at least felt like cramming...) during my Latin test, I had a brief flash of 'fun'-- I guess it was the thrill of being able to correctly decline a masculine noun (populus, if you must know! ). I don't recall having fun when testing.