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**jnd4rusty** · 10-12-2010, 09:05 AM

I know how you feel, you are best buds, you hang out, you like him to be more but he does not give you any indication that it could go that way. I think, since you have been friends for more than 7 years, that you should tell him your real feelings. Chances are that he feels the same way and is too shy to bring it up further. It sounds like your friendship is solid, so bringing up the subject should not cause harm to the friendship. You may feel a little awkward if he turns you down for a romantic relationship, but if you are willing to settle for just a friendship if he says he is not interested in you that way, then go for it. One never knows where they might find their soulmate. Mine was living three doors down and I was good friends with his mom before him and I even started to talk to each other, now 11 years later I could not imagine life without him!!

**Whiskey** · 10-12-2010, 01:02 PM

The situation is going to be awkward regardless. You could just ask him outright, "Hey, people have been asking me if we're going out now, whats the deal?" If he says he's still not interested, let it go.

**MaggieTheCat** · 10-12-2010, 01:12 PM

My husband and I have known each other for about 13 years. When we were in our late teens (I was maybe 17-18, he was 19-20) I told him I was interested in him, but he did not feel the same way (okay, he really did, but for various reasons, told me he didn't at the time.) Then about 5 or 6 years later we had "the talk" and both realized that we were interested in each other and now we're married.

So stuff like that can happen.

I don't remember "the talk" very well but I'm sure it was awkward. Neither one of us had dated much at that point so we were both kinda shy. But there were signs and hints that he liked me so I finally asked him. I think just asking your guy friend straight up is the best approach, you will (hopefully) get a straight answer and if he is still not interested, no harm done. I had a male friend back in my hometown who I was really close to and we would do stuff that looked like we were on a date (he'd take me out to dinner, etc.) but we never actually dated.

**sarasquirrel** · 10-12-2010, 03:51 PM

thanks gals for your input, it has given me some ideas as to how to approach it

im trying to see if i can get him to hang out with me sometime this week, and so i can talk to him then

**Jester** · 10-16-2010, 06:31 AM

There are 3 possibilities here.

1. He is interested in you. Bonus! Go for it!

2. He is not interested in you. Shit! Oh well, at least you got that behind you now.

3. He is "confused about his feelings." In other words, an indecisive jerkwad. A lot of times, this type will jerk you around like a yo-yo, sometimes intentionally, sometimes it's not intentional or malicious, they are just idiots. Don't play this game. If he starts this shit, say fuck this, and move on. Save the drama for his mama!

Now, no matter what, things are going to be awkward. The only way to avoid awkwardness is to avoid the situation, which you seem to be doing so far. Cut this crap now. All you're doing is building yourself up for a bigger fall. Trust me, I used to be the expert at this. I see by your most recent post that you do have some plans to broach this subject with Mr. Wonderful. Good for you. Now, how do you go about doing this?

1. The Chat. Sit him down, tell him your feelings, see if he's receptive.
Pros: Gets things out in the open in a mature and adult way.
Cons: Very awkward for both of you, and if you get reaction #2 or #3 above, far more awkward for you.

2. Sending Signals. Use all your flirtatious powers to convince him to make a move on you.
Pros: Avoids the awkward part about expressing your feelings.
Cons: Never fucking works. First of all, those signals are rarely as obvious as you think they are. More importantly, guys are generally as clueless as a dead hamster about such things, even if those signals were being broadcast over the air with 50,000 watts and accompanied by balloons, flashing neon lights, fireworks, and Ashton Kutcher giving away a Brand New Car!

3. The Ambush. Make the first move. You can be subtle, and coyly snuggle up to him on the couch, eventually giving him a light kiss on the cheek, then lips, etc, etc, progressing along. Or you can hit him over the head with a sledgehammer, basically pouncing on him without warning. I once had a girl grab me by my shirt, throw me up against the wall of her (parents') house, and slam her tongue down my throat. That was 21 years ago, and trust me, I have never forgotten THAT afternoon!
Pros: None of that awkward talking about feelings crap.
Cons: If he's not interested, you're going to feel sillier than an opera fan showing up at a KISS concert.

Good luck!

**sarasquirrel** · 10-16-2010, 09:09 PM

Quoth Jester View Post

There are 3 possibilities here.

1. He is interested in you. Bonus! Go for it!

2. He is not interested in you. Shit! Oh well, at least you got that behind you now.

3. He is "confused about his feelings." In other words, an indecisive jerkwad. A lot of times, this type will jerk you around like a yo-yo, sometimes intentionally, sometimes it's not intentional or malicious, they are just idiots. Don't play this game. If he starts this shit, say fuck this, and move on. Save the drama for his mama!

Now, no matter what, things are going to be awkward. The only way to avoid awkwardness is to avoid the situation, which you seem to be doing so far. Cut this crap now. All you're doing is building yourself up for a bigger fall. Trust me, I used to be the expert at this. I see by your most recent post that you do have some plans to broach this subject with Mr. Wonderful. Good for you. Now, how do you go about doing this?

1. The Chat. Sit him down, tell him your feelings, see if he's receptive.
Pros: Gets things out in the open in a mature and adult way.
Cons: Very awkward for both of you, and if you get reaction #2 or #3 above, far more awkward for you.

2. Sending Signals. Use all your flirtatious powers to convince him to make a move on you.
Pros: Avoids the awkward part about expressing your feelings.
Cons: Never fucking works. First of all, those signals are rarely as obvious as you think they are. More importantly, guys are generally as clueless as a dead hamster about such things, even if those signals were being broadcast over the air with 50,000 watts and accompanied by balloons, flashing neon lights, fireworks, and Ashton Kutcher giving away a Brand New Car!

3. The Ambush. Make the first move. You can be subtle, and coyly snuggle up to him on the couch, eventually giving him a light kiss on the cheek, then lips, etc, etc, progressing along. Or you can hit him over the head with a sledgehammer, basically pouncing on him without warning. I once had a girl grab me by my shirt, throw me up against the wall of her (parents') house, and slam her tongue down my throat. That was 21 years ago, and trust me, I have never forgotten THAT afternoon!
Pros: None of that awkward talking about feelings crap.
Cons: If he's not interested, you're going to feel sillier than an opera fan showing up at a KISS concert.

Good luck!

ive been trying to make plans with him this week, but hes been busy with work and family. so im hoping he can hang out soon , and then i can talk to him

i will need a lot of luck lol

**Jester** · 10-17-2010, 03:43 AM

Fuck luck.

Confidence and assertiveness work far better.

**Andara Bledin** · 10-17-2010, 05:00 AM

Quoth Jester View Post

Fuck luck.

Confidence and assertiveness work far better.

Yeah, absolutely.

Although, a little bit of luck in that the person you're interested in is also interested in you won't hurt.

^-.-^

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