Food/diet advice

[Eisa]

Just because I think CS might be better at this than me...

So: I have gastroparesis. Which basically means that my stomach doesn't empty as fast as it should. [Actually. I had a gastric scan where I had to eat radioactive eggs and then just lie there while it measured the digestion rate or whatever. Normal time for 1/2 the eggs to leave tummy is about 90 minutes. They had to extrapolate mine out to 192 minutes. Yikes.] The doctor put me on Reglan and Prilosec and gave me some dietary guidelines [which I shall get to in a moment.]

The drugs didn't really work. He had me up to 4 Reglan pills a day, which I didn't like because Reglan has a really high risk of giving you tardive dyskinesia and I don't particularly want to be twitching all over the place when the drug doesn't even freaking work. Plus, I visited my bf over the summer and had a very different diet that consisted of a lot of homemade stuff, and a lot of meat. I didn't take my meds, and I felt great. Of course, I think part of that was due to alleviation of stress and the fact that I could actually breathe on the East Coast, what with all that oxygen y'all have down thar.

Anyway. The dietary guidelines say low-fat, low-fiber. This is impossibly difficult. Not the low-fat part, but have you ever tried to eat healthily on a low-fiber diet? I can't have whole grains. I can't have raw vegetables [and the only cooked veggie I can have consistently is potatoes...good state for me to live in, huh? ]. I can't have most fruits, particularly citrus. Pineapple actually makes me feel like there's a thousand paper cuts in my mouth and has actually made my mouth bleed. I don't believe that's related to the gastroparesis, but still. EEK! And to top it off, I'm lactose intolerant. I still have stuff I'm not supposed to, like cheese, but I have to take a fuck-ton of lactaid pills, and it sucks.

I was doing semi all right this summer because I was learning how to cook. I've decided I actually really like to cook. However, when school started, I moved into the dorm. Anything I want to make is restricted to a microwave and a plug-in skillet I'm not even sure we're allowed to have. I have a meal plan...but the dining hall sucks at healthy meals in general, never mind something that can be considered healthy without loads of fiber.

I've been exercising in that I have a dance basics class twice a week, and I walk a lot all over campus. But...it's definitely not enough. I just don't know what I can EAT that's healthy. I want to lose some weight, but kind of have no idea how now. And to top it off, I used to have an eating disorder. I lost...a lot of weight, shall we say. I wasn't underweight, but I was probably pretty close. I loved that. Unfortunately, that was when I was eating less than 1000 calories a day. I know that's not healthy. But in the process of trying to learn how to eat like a normal human again, my weight crept back up. And for all I know, my eating-disordered behavior is what gave me gastroparesis in the first place.

But yeah. Long story short: does anyone know of low-fiber foods that I can eat to try to eat healthy? Especially things that don't need an oven or stove-top? And of any other exercise I could add? I must warn you, I'm asthmatic and have severe foot problems. And I can't swim, unfortunately--I've heard that that would be great exercise for me. *sighs* Oh, well.

I'll give cookies...?

[Whiskey]

As for food, the atkins diet is fairly low fiber since its low carb. I don't do atkins, but i do stick to a low carb diet and I do not get a lot of fiber that isn't supplemented.

I googled around and MayoClinic.com has this sample meal plan

If you're eating a low-fiber diet, a typical one-day menu might look like this.

Breakfast:
One glass milk
One egg
One-half cup canned peaches

Snack:
One cup yogurt (without seeds or nuts)

Lunch:
One glass milk
One serving pasta topped with tomato sauce, cooked spinach and onions, and Parmesan cheese

Snack:
Two slices toasted enriched white bread with smooth (creamy) peanut butter
One-half cup applesauce

Dinner:
Six to 8 ounces grape juice
Three ounces lean meat, poultry or fish
One-half cup white rice
One enriched white dinner roll with butter
One-half cup cooked vegetables, such as carrots or green beans

also, they list good low fiber diet foods

he following foods are allowed on a low-fiber diet:

* Enriched white bread
* White rice
* Plain pasta, noodles or macaroni
* Cereals with no more than 1 gram of dietary fiber per serving
* Most canned or cooked fruits without skins, seeds or membranes
* Raw fruit without skin or membranes
* Fruit and vegetable juice with little or no pulp
* Canned or well-cooked vegetables without seeds, hulls or skins, such as carrots, string beans and peppers
* Tender meat, poultry and fish
* Eggs
* Smooth (creamy) peanut butter — up to 2 tablespoons a day
* Milk
* Yogurt or cheese without seeds or nuts
* Fats, oils and dressings without seeds

As for working out, I don't know the severity of your foot problems, but I'm a big promoter of lifting weights. I've never looked more feminine in my life. I'm curvy as all get out, in the right places. My calves are the definition of svelte, my arms are starting to get a really great shape to them. And I lift heavy weights. With your medical issues DEFINITELY run EVERYTHING by your doctor first and foremost.

I'm with you on the ED. There was a period where a handful of grapes was my food for the day and I was underweight. Coincidentally, its a really nice feeling to eat 2300 calories a day (of the right food) and consistently lose weight. Theres none of the ED back and forth guilt cycle.

edit: you said you can't swim, but can you do water aerobics? Its a really great low-impact exercise.

[Seshat]

Most forms of dance are excellent exercise. Practice your dance basics stuff every day, even for just ten minutes, and that'll help a lot.


WHOO! Someone else who feels like their mouth is being peeled off with pineapple and citrus! I'm not a freak after all!
(Ahem)


Okay. Microwave and skilled meals.
Skillet:
Omelettes, fried eggs, meat, stir-fried vegetables.
Depending on what sort of skillet it is, you can do a lot more. Some of them, you can do a roast in. Look up online recipes for 'electric skillet' or 'electric frypan'.

You can actually make sauces from vegetables: get one of the squashes (eg zucchini), cook it (on the skillet or in the microwave), then mash it up with a little butter or olive oil, add any herbs and/or spices to taste, and spoon it over your meat. Or over other veggies.
You can do the same with any other veg or fruit - some will taste better than others. Experiment!

A microwave you can do almost EVERYTHING with. It's a great cooking tool. I know fancy chefs tend to dislike them, but for basic home cooking, go ahead.

Make a stew or casserole or soup: chop stuff up, put in a big bowl, add enough water for the type of thing you're making, stick in microwave at medium power for ten minutes. Come back, stir and check it, give it another ten minutes (and more liquid if needed). Repeat until everything's cooked and the flavours are all blended.

Again, plenty of microwave recipes out there. Just don't do the 'serve with rice' or 'serve with pasta' - like, have the bolognaise sauce without the spaghetti.

I think your biggest thing is going to be to have variety in the veggies you use. That's what's going to keep your diet from sucking. Explore vegetables, and experiment with different ways of cooking them. Get to know a greengrocer, if that's at all possible where you live, and ask their advice.

[Cazzi]

I can't add much to the diet tips, but you don't need to be able to swim to get use out of a pool for exercise

If you can find aquarobics classes locally, they're brilliant & fun, plus just walking as fast as you can manage in water or hopping or generally bouncing about gets the heart pumping too. The pool I use has a few non swimmers that do this and best of all, the water supports you and doesn't stress you joints as much as convention aerobics/bouncing about will.

I took up aqua on the advice of my physiotherapist, to replace the breast stroke swimming I was doing that was hurting my knees & elbows and I've enjoyed it a lot!

[Seshat]

One note: while you're not able to swim, stay in the shallow end, or a hydrotherapy/aqua-aerobics pool. (They're no higher than shoulder deep on most adults.)

I'd recommend basic learn-to-swim classes. You don't need to become an expert, just capable enough to be confident in the deep end of a normal pool. From memory (I did mine when I was a young child!), these classes have floating exercises, and give you a basic 'dogpaddle' skill. They probably also provide one of the classic swimming strokes - most likely breaststroke or Australian Crawl.

[trailerparkmedic]

Try not to sweat the calories. People who have had eating disorders generally end up with super fast metabolisms, so they can eat more than regular people. Just think about that when you're worried about eating "too much."

[AdminAssistant]

As far as exercise go, of course, check out what the student gym has to offer. Mine offers personal trainer sessions at a very discounted rate.

[Whiskey]

Try not to sweat the calories. People who have had eating disorders generally end up with super fast metabolisms, so they can eat more than regular people. Just think about that when you're worried about eating "too much."

I have never in my life heard this from anybody. In fact all I've ever heard is the opposite since starving yourself causes your metabolism to slow down . Whats your source on this?

[trailerparkmedic]

I have never in my life heard this from anybody. In fact all I've ever heard is the opposite since starving yourself causes your metabolism to slow down . Whats your source on this?

Two of my nursing professors. Your metabolism speeds up after you start eating regularly again (it's slow while you're starving yourself). Sometimes the effect only lasts a few years and sometimes it's very long term. It's also apparently seen in cancer patients who go into remission but are super skinny from low intake/increased metabolic demands of the cancer.

[Eisa]

Well, speaking of dance...we did stretches today where you sit on the bouncy ball or lie across it and stuff...WOW is that a workout. It doesn't look like it should be, but it's actually really hard to keep your balance and not fall off. Which I did, actually. Multiple times. Anyway.

As for food, the atkins diet is fairly low fiber since its low carb. I don't do atkins, but i do stick to a low carb diet and I do not get a lot of fiber that isn't supplemented.

I googled around and MayoClinic.com has this sample meal plan

also, they list good low fiber diet foods



As for working out, I don't know the severity of your foot problems, but I'm a big promoter of lifting weights. I've never looked more feminine in my life. I'm curvy as all get out, in the right places. My calves are the definition of svelte, my arms are starting to get a really great shape to them. And I lift heavy weights. With your medical issues DEFINITELY run EVERYTHING by your doctor first and foremost.

I'm with you on the ED. There was a period where a handful of grapes was my food for the day and I was underweight. Coincidentally, its a really nice feeling to eat 2300 calories a day (of the right food) and consistently lose weight. Theres none of the ED back and forth guilt cycle.

edit: you said you can't swim, but can you do water aerobics? Its a really great low-impact exercise.

Huh, I hadn't thought of the Atkins diet for some reason. It actually looks pretty good in terms of what I can eat and what I actually LIKE. Same for low fiber foods. I did find this low-fat low-fiber food plan, but it was like...a cancer diet. So everything was on it, pretty much.

Lifting weights might work. At the moment, I think my muscles are like limp noodles, so I definitely couldn't just start out with anything heavy. My foot problems are...well, in a nutshell they're this: I was born with clubfeet. I had surgery at ten months, but I pretty much need surgery again or I'm gonna end up in a wheelchair. I had an MRI scan of both feet done, and they are whacked inside. My ankle bones are all fused in weird places and my feet are weird. Plus, my left foot's flat and my right has the bones curving up to some place Gawd-knows-where. To add to this, I carry a lot of tension in my knees, my hips are tilted, and one leg is shorter than the other. So when I stand up, I'm basically tilted to one side. This has been causing some problems in my dance class 'cause I can't do demi-plies properly. I can't keep both heels on the floor. Thankfully, I told my dance teacher I have pretty severe problems, so she's not like yelling at me for it or anything, but...there you have it. So lifting weights shouldn't be a problem, it's mainly stuff like running or jogging or even taking too-long walks. I remember being in PE class in junior high and having to run the mile...it was hell.

That does sound nice. I don't know if I could eat that much [because my sense of hunger and appetite is way off still], but I do remember when I would eat like...a granola bar. The weird thing was at that point, I was just depressed and couldn't manage to eat anything more. Then it just kind of transformed into its own version of living hell. I still feel the guilt cycle try to creep back in sometimes and I have to thwack it firmly back in place. Plus, I have to remind myself that setting a HEALTHY weight goal is key. For example. 120-125 lbs would be pretty good for my height. My little ED voice says 110. To be fair, I've been almost that weight and wasn't desperately underweight and bony, but I was definitely getting too thin and basically subsisting on what a finicky toddler eats. Not good.

I don't know about water aerobics. I might be able to do it, as long as I don't freak out about the water. I actually almost drowned in sixth grade and had to be rescued by the lifeguard...in front of both sixth grade classes. Yikes. I'm not terribly afraid now...do you know what depth of water it's in?

Most forms of dance are excellent exercise. Practice your dance basics stuff every day, even for just ten minutes, and that'll help a lot.
WHOO! Someone else who feels like their mouth is being peeled off with pineapple and citrus! I'm not a freak after all!
(Ahem)

Okay. Microwave and skilled meals.
Skillet:
Omelettes, fried eggs, meat, stir-fried vegetables.
Depending on what sort of skillet it is, you can do a lot more. Some of them, you can do a roast in. Look up online recipes for 'electric skillet' or 'electric frypan'.

You can actually make sauces from vegetables: get one of the squashes (eg zucchini), cook it (on the skillet or in the microwave), then mash it up with a little butter or olive oil, add any herbs and/or spices to taste, and spoon it over your meat. Or over other veggies.
You can do the same with any other veg or fruit - some will taste better than others. Experiment!

A microwave you can do almost EVERYTHING with. It's a great cooking tool. I know fancy chefs tend to dislike them, but for basic home cooking, go ahead.

Make a stew or casserole or soup: chop stuff up, put in a big bowl, add enough water for the type of thing you're making, stick in microwave at medium power for ten minutes. Come back, stir and check it, give it another ten minutes (and more liquid if needed). Repeat until everything's cooked and the flavours are all blended.

Again, plenty of microwave recipes out there. Just don't do the 'serve with rice' or 'serve with pasta' - like, have the bolognaise sauce without the spaghetti.

I think your biggest thing is going to be to have variety in the veggies you use. That's what's going to keep your diet from sucking. Explore vegetables, and experiment with different ways of cooking them. Get to know a greengrocer, if that's at all possible where you live, and ask their advice.

Oh, really? Cool...I knew dance basics was a good class to take! It's actually really fun because it doesn't give me an asthma attack like most "health" classes would, and yet I still move...and hurt. I can't forget the hurt.

Nope, you're not a freak, or if you are, we're freaks together. I don't know why that started happening, but for whatever reason, it did...so now I'll maybe have orange juice or something, but that's it. Not supposed to have oranges anyhow because they're too fibrous...and when pineapple makes me feel like I stuffed a handful of broken glass in my mouth, I'm definitely not trying that again! Except maybe on a pizza. Mmm, I love Hawaiian pizza...

*cough* Anyway. I'm kind of wary/afraid of trying too many veggies, just because I know that I've actually gotten a stomachache from eating like...one broccoli floret. That MIGHT have been a coincidence, but...It sucks because I actually like veggies. I don't like raw so much since I can't stand salads [my mother swears I'm not her child ], but like every time we had dinner and had veggies, unless it was brussel sprouts or spinach, I was good. Same with milk, actually, I loved milk. Lactose-free milk just isn't the same. And I can only stand chocolate soy milk. [On the other hand...mac n cheese made with vanilla soy milk? Tastes VERY interesting. ] Mashing up veggies into a sauce sounds good, though. And making stuff on the skillet. My cooking repertoire is kind of limited, though. So far, I've been able to make spaghetti, tuna mac [to die for], tuna casserole [and that one, I used the microwave!], hamburgers, a hamburger noodle bake my bf dreamed up that was amazing, chocolate chip cookies [heh ], pork chops, and...assorted side dishes. I think that's pretty much it. And it's hard to make some of that without a stove top or an oven. But I definitely should improvise more, I'm tired of getting sick after every dining hall meal. [Almost literally. I practically plan it by now, actually. And I don't get why because it's the same dining company that runs ALL of the school's food and if I eat elsewhere, I'm fine. It's JUST the dining hall. Wtf?]

I can't add much to the diet tips, but you don't need to be able to swim to get use out of a pool for exercise

If you can find aquarobics classes locally, they're brilliant & fun, plus just walking as fast as you can manage in water or hopping or generally bouncing about gets the heart pumping too. The pool I use has a few non swimmers that do this and best of all, the water supports you and doesn't stress you joints as much as convention aerobics/bouncing about will.

I took up aqua on the advice of my physiotherapist, to replace the breast stroke swimming I was doing that was hurting my knees & elbows and I've enjoyed it a lot!

Having the water support me would be brilliant. My joints hurt a lot [I feel so old or something...it's ridiculous]. My roomie was actually talking about how surprised she is to wake up and feel achy from track, and I was thinking, "I feel like that every day. From just getting up and walking around." But yeah, I think I'll look around for some aqua aerobics classes then. I don't know if my school offers any--if they do, they might require that you know how to swim first. I don't want to learn through the school...

One note: while you're not able to swim, stay in the shallow end, or a hydrotherapy/aqua-aerobics pool. (They're no higher than shoulder deep on most adults.)

I'd recommend basic learn-to-swim classes. You don't need to become an expert, just capable enough to be confident in the deep end of a normal pool. From memory (I did mine when I was a young child!), these classes have floating exercises, and give you a basic 'dogpaddle' skill. They probably also provide one of the classic swimming strokes - most likely breaststroke or Australian Crawl.

Hmm. I'm 5'3", I'm not sure if it would still be shoulder-height... But if it's not, you know, like a wave pool, I think I'd be ok. I've been in 5 feet of water before, I just stayed very close to the side and was very careful.

I tried taking basic swimming lessons when I was 9. I was actually the oldest kid in the class! But all they taught was how to do float on your back and stomach for ten seconds...they didn't teach anything else, really. It was pretty much a waste of money. They also had this kind of trust thing where you had to jump off the side into your instructor's arms...in 9 feet of water. I almost couldn't do it, I was terrified. [Although I'm glad I wasn't my sister, as her class did that in 12 feet!] I almost remember I kept getting yelled at because I would let go of the side...well, I'm taller than the water by like 9 inches or something, what do you want me to do? :P

I want my bf to teach me, but if he does, that has to wait until next summer. I have major trust issues with people teaching me how to swim. My friend Jenny tried to at one point and she could get me up to the actual swimming point, but then couldn't think of what else to do to actually get me swimming. And my other friend tried teaching me, but first she tried in an extremely crowded public pool and then in a wave pool. Yeah, that's going to make me learn properly.

Try not to sweat the calories. People who have had eating disorders generally end up with super fast metabolisms, so they can eat more than regular people. Just think about that when you're worried about eating "too much."

I hope that's true for me so, so much. That would be awesome. I mean...not awesome that I had an eating disorder, but...yeah. [And it would have been EDNOS...since I thankfully didn't meet the stringent requirements for anorexia...]

As far as exercise go, of course, check out what the student gym has to offer. Mine offers personal trainer sessions at a very discounted rate.

I don't know if ours actually even has personal trainer sessions, but I could probably find out. My roommates go over to the gym all the time, maybe I could ask them. I think that just to use the gym, it's free if you're a student. But classes and stuff cost money [and sometimes, you can even get college credit for them! ].

[42_42_42]

Your school most likely has a nutritionist on staff through the student health clinic. I recommend you see him/her.

As for being lactose intolerant, the good news is that there are dairy products are still okay to eat because the process that makes them uses up all the lactose. Yogurt, for example is okay to eat w/o lactaid because the yogurt cultures eat up all the lactose. Hard and long-aged cheeses are ok, too, because the lactose is used up in making these types of cheese. Soft and young cheeses still contain a large amount of lactose and may require you to take a lactaid with.

Have you tried rice or almond milk? You might like those better than the soy.

I'm wondering why the dr. gave you prilosec. Were you having acid-reflux? If not, it just doesn't make sense to give it to someone who needs all the digestive action going on as possible. Reducing the acid in your stomach isn't going to help the food get out faster.

If you feel achy all the time, chances are you aren't getting enough potassium in your diet. You might want to try taking a potassium supplement in addition to your regular multivitamin (which you absolutely should take, if you aren't, since you can't eat a lot of veg and fruit).

[Andara Bledin]

If you feel achy all the time, chances are you aren't getting enough potassium in your diet. You might want to try taking a potassium supplement in addition to your regular multivitamin (which you absolutely should take, if you aren't, since you can't eat a lot of veg and fruit).

There are a lot of good foods across a range of types that are great sources for potassium.

It's also worth noting that intense muscle use, heavy sweating or other things that cause a person to lose fluids, and salt intake can cause a person to need more potassium for balance.

WH Foods appears to have a decently detailed and balanced information page on it.

^-.-^

[Amusement Gal]

For your cheese needs, fear not. Because I have just recently learned that Cabot brand cheeses are naturally lactose free. Their sharp cheddar is to die for. Another trick for lactose intolerance is to take a daily dose of acidophilus. It's the same probiotic found in the good yogurts, so taking a daily will build up in your system, and eventually nullifies most of the stomach issues. I would know. Today I've had a 4-cheese pizza, a cup of icecream, and good chunk of cheese. Not a problem here.

[Andara Bledin]

Oooh... I will have to look into that.

I figured out that milk didn't agree with me the hard way, after realizing that the only time I didn't feel awful by morning break was when I had skipped my morning cereal. But I love cheese (and have had Cabot - my aunt sends a care package west every year *nom* ) and ice cream enough to put up with the discomfort.

^-.-^

[Seshat]

Well, speaking of dance...we did stretches today where you sit on the bouncy ball or lie across it and stuff...WOW is that a workout. It doesn't look like it should be, but it's actually really hard to keep your balance and not fall off. Which I did, actually. Multiple times. Anyway.

And it works out your core muscles - the ones you rely on for posture and to keep your spine in order.

Lifting weights might work. At the moment, I think my muscles are like limp noodles, so I definitely couldn't just start out with anything heavy.

Somewhere else in Life Advice, recently, I posted a long bit about starting out lifting weights.

Essentially, you start as low as you need to. 3 repetitions using no weights at all and focussing on form is fine, if that's where you need to start! Do learn proper form - that means how to stand, and how to move the body parts you're moving. And which body parts to keep still!
Form is what keeps you from wrenching your back out, and ensures that the muscles you mean to work are the ones you work.

If you're aiming for the bulk shape, or the ability to do rapid but non-sustained movements, your target is 2 sets of 5 reps (or something like that).
If you're aiming for the leaner muscled shape, or the ability to do endurance work, your target is 2 sets of 15 reps (again, or something like that).
In either case, the weight you use is the one where you're just starting to lose form on the last rep of the last set.

Once you're at your target strength, the weight you use should be the one you were using just before you decided this is where you're happy. (IE, the one that used to cause you to just start to lose form.)
You'll keep doing this for the rest of your life - because it'll make sure you STAY at that fitness level.

That does sound nice. I don't know if I could eat that much [because my sense of hunger and appetite is way off still], but I do remember when I would eat like...a granola bar.

I've been learning how to know how much to eat.
If I leave the table and feel 'full', I ate too much. If I'm still 'full' an hour later, I ate far too much.
If I leave the table and feel just a bit hungry, I wait and see how I am in half an hour. If I'm still hungry, not mildly peckish, I'll eat a banana or something. And yes, that means I ate a bit too little.
While I'm trying to lose fat, I am keeping myself to 'mildly peckish' most of the time. It's not a problem to feel that way, now I know what it's for.
Once I'm at a fat/everything else ratio that I and my doctor (and Anna, cause she's my best friend and she's smart about these things) are happy with, I'll have half a banana when I'm peckish, too.

Oh, really? Cool...I knew dance basics was a good class to take! It's actually really fun because it doesn't give me an asthma attack like most "health" classes would, and yet I still move...and hurt. I can't forget the hurt.

What matters is not what SORT of exercise you do, but THAT you exercise. And that it's something you can sustain and enjoy.

I sympathise with 'every type of activity hurts'. I really do.

Nope, you're not a freak, or if you are, we're freaks together.

*cough* Anyway. I'm kind of wary/afraid of trying too many veggies, just because I know that I've actually gotten a stomachache from eating like...one broccoli floret.

You're probably going to need to experiment. A food-and-reactions diary might help you a great deal - keep you from repeatedly discovering that broccoli gives you stomachaches.
Buy the smallest size or portion of a veg - or explain to the greengrocer that you're trialling new veggies, and ask if he can cut a small piece of pumpkin for you. (Or whatever).

Mashing up veggies into a sauce sounds good, though. And making stuff on the skillet. <snippage> But I definitely should improvise more, I'm tired of getting sick after every dining hall meal.

How do you think those TV chefs get new recipes? They improvise! Oh, you'll have failures. You may even have spectacular failures. Do your most experimental experimenting when you have the time & resources to make another meal, in case the experiment turns out inedible.
But once you've experimented for .. oh, about a month, you'll be able to turn out edible experiments almost every time. In six months, they'll almost all be yummy.

Having the water support me would be brilliant. My joints hurt a lot [I feel so old or something...it's ridiculous]. My roomie was actually talking about how surprised she is to wake up and feel achy from track, and I was thinking, "I feel like that every day. From just getting up and walking around."

See if there's a pain management program anywhere near you. Your doctor should be able to refer you to them, if there is.
I don't know if you're in a part of the world where you have to pay for such programs or not, though.

But yeah, I think I'll look around for some aqua aerobics classes then. I don't know if my school offers any--if they do, they might require that you know how to swim first. I don't want to learn through the school...

Hmm. I'm 5'3", I'm not sure if it would still be shoulder-height... But if it's not, you know, like a wave pool, I think I'd be ok. I've been in 5 feet of water before, I just stayed very close to the side and was very careful.

<snippage>

I want my bf to teach me, but if he does, that has to wait until next summer. I have major trust issues with people teaching me how to swim.

At my local pool, there's the hydrotherapy/aquaaerobics/etc pool. Classes have top priority in that pool, then people wanting to do their hydrotherapy or aqua or whatever.

The pool has a shallow end and a deep end. The deepest part is shoulder height on a tall man, the shallowest part is shallower than shoulder height on a small Asian woman. It's designed so that as many adults as possible can find a place to do the arm exercises of hydrotherapy - it even has a ramp section to the kiddie pool so that 'little people' (those with dwarfism or other growth issues) have somewhere to stand, see the instructor, and be shoulder height in the water.

If your local pool has a hydrotherapy pool like this one, you should be able to find a comfortable height for yourself.

If we were anywhere close, I'd take you to my local pool and teach you some of the head-out-of-the-water swimming strokes that would let you feel confident that you can always reach the side (at least in a still water pool).

Tell your boyfriend that I recommend sidestroke as an efficient head-out-of-water stroke, and dogpaddle as a simple one to learn (but it uses more effort per metre of distance achieved).

(Note of interest: sidestroke is a good rescue stroke. Instead of using both hands to propel, your upper hand holds your rescuee's head out of the water while you move the pair of you to safety.)