My cousin's wife

[Mytical]

Note : There will be a disclaimer at the end of this, and there is a possibility that it might become NSFW.so I tagged it that way.

Ok here is the situation..which has been sort of ongoing for awhile...My cousin married female..and since I met them .. they have been saying strange things, and even flirting with me. Now I want to be clear..I don't flirt back. It even makes me very uncomfortable. Here are some of the things that have happened that I can safely post here. Note that my cousin has been present for some of the things that happened..which made it even a bit more disturbing.

She has two darling little girls, and one time me, her and my cousin was driving somewhere. Here is the conversation.

CW - Cousin's wife
M - Me

CW - "Mytical if something happened to <cousin>, would you be interested in me and you?"
M - "What the heck are you talking about?"
CW - "If <cousin> died would you hook up with me?"
M - "Lets not worry about that, <cousin> is gonnabe around for awhile."
CW - "I could rock your world."

That is one example.

CW - "If something happens to me and <Cousin> we know you would take care of the girls. We are going to make a will stating we want you to take care of them."

Not "Would you take care of the girls."

Or "Would you mind doing x?" just this is what is going to happen.

I like kids, they like me, and under the right circumstances I would have no problem taking care of a child or children..but you know..it would be good if it was a kid of somebody I was married to, or you know..if asked.

She jokingly says things like "Where is my child support?" because 'one of the kids is mine'. In front of my cousin, who doesn't say a thing about it.

Now admittedly he knows I have a hard and fast rule. If somebody has been with a close relative, they are off limits..period. Even if they and the relative break up. Just not gonna happen. Not to mention I wouldn't betray my cousin either. Mostly though she is one of those rare people that even if that was not an issue .. I wouldn't touch with a 10' pole. Remember I believe that everybody can be beautiful, so that is saying a LOT.

It's not because she is not attractive physically, but she is one of the ugliest people I know where it counts. Personality.

I can't count the times she talks about how so and so wants her, etc..and then turns around and flirts with me. Even though I have told her that one rule that I will never ever break. Nobody that has been with somebody I am closely related to.

I've told her no, went to my cousin with it, and nothing changes. Any advice?

[Plaidman]

Flat out state it to her. Sometimes you just have to be harsh to get your point across that you have no intention of ever dating her period. No intention of sleeping with her. Etc.

Yeah, it's harsh, but people can be surprisenly resilient to rejection.

[Rapscallion]

Let's see...

Quite willing to suggest a permanent arrangement with you while in a permanent relationship with someone else. Doesn't quite sound like she's going to be faithful if she ends up with you.

Rapscallion

[Mytical]

Disclaimer * - I am very open minded about things. I honestly wouldn't care if she was taking guys into the bedroom and him watching. I would just prefer they NOT get me mixed into it.

[Amina516]

If youre uncomfortable, please tell her so.

Also, possibly pulling your cousin aside and telling him how you feel. It may make things awkward for a bit, but no more than his wife is already doing.

[trailerparkmedic]

This conversation kind of sounds like you're leading CW on. You need to straight up tell her you aren't interested.

CW - "Mytical if something happened to <cousin>, would you be interested in me and you?"
M - "What the heck are you talking about?"
CW - "If <cousin> died would you hook up with me?"
M - "Lets not worry about that, <cousin> is gonnabe around for awhile."
CW - "I could rock your world."

Better version:
CW - "Mytical if something happened to <cousin>, would you be interested in me and you?"
You: No.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I wouldn't even pull the cousin aside. He knows what he married.

I'd tell her to knock off with the creepy, innappropriate shit straight up in front of them both.

Let's illustrate how creepy this is: switch everyone's gender.

A woman should be creeped out by this and not tolerate it. It's no different if you are a man. It's gross. And him sitting there letting it go down in front of him makes it all the more nasty. He's either into it, or he's a complete py.

Next time she goes down that road, you ought to say something to the order of "Hey, you know what? I don't really feel like being harrassed by you. How about spare me the whore routine, it's old." Loudly, and in front of anyone present.

Then avoid her and your cousin until they get their shit in order.

[Amina516]

I wouldn't even pull the cousin aside. He knows what he married.

I'd tell her to knock off with the creepy, innappropriate shit straight up in front of them both.

Let's illustrate how creepy this is: switch everyone's gender.

A woman should be creeped out by this and not tolerate it. It's no different if you are a man. It's gross. And him sitting there letting it go down in front of him makes it all the more nasty. He's either into it, or he's a complete py.

Next time she goes down that road, you ought to say something to the order of "Hey, you know what? I don't really feel like being harrassed by you. How about spare me the whore routine, it's old." Loudly, and in front of anyone present.

Then avoid her and your cousin until they get their shit in order.

As usual..awesomesauce advice.

[Mytical]

May have to come down to the avoiding part. Which is unfortunate since the cousin is like a brother to me. I've done the straight out "Not in a million years" approach. Think the cousin doesn't care, because he knows me and knows my rule. Even when I've come straight out and told him its creepy, he blows it off like she is joking. Don't care if she is, it is downright disturbing.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I know if I had a cousin who's husband was doing that to me, and she knew it, I would avoid the hell out of them both. Close bond or no, it clearly ain't close enough to make him respect that it makes you uncomfortable.

[Seshat]

As for the whole 'you will be taking careof the kids' thing; my mother had a comment about that.

If my brother and my sister-in-law are both dead, they're not going to be around to be in on the decision, are they?


In other words, my parents, my sister-in-law's parents, her brother, myself, and (because they're old enough now) my niece and nephew will be having a big conference about it. Probably the godparents too, since they were the free choice of my brother and sis-i-l.


So yeah, if you get told 'if we die, you ARE doing this', you can either call her on it, or just smile and keep your own counsel.

[Andara Bledin]

I know if I had a cousin who's husband was doing that to me, and she knew it, I would avoid the hell out of them both. Close bond or no, it clearly ain't close enough to make him respect that it makes you uncomfortable.

This.

^-.-^

[iradney]

Honestly, I would say something like "The thought of being physically intimate with you makes my balls crawl back up into my body" but maybe that's too subtle for her.
I think you also have to sign some sort of document in order to be a legal guardian in the event (deity forbid) something happen to both parents.

[taxguykarl]

I think you also have to sign some sort of document in order to be a legal guardian in the event (deity forbid) something happen to both parents.

That can be placed in one's will. In most states the guardian named nominated in a will becomes the family court's first choice.

[Seshat]

In Australia, blood relatives are also strongly considered, as are the wishes of the children if they're old enough to express them.