Flirting?

[Shangri-laschild]

I am absolutely horrible at noticing subtle social stuff and fairly bad at noticing if someone is flirting with me. There's someone I met through work (he works for an outside company that we don'y really use anymore and I very rarely interact with him because of work anymore) and I am not only confused but also at a loss for what to do.

He's always been nice and friendly and we joke around some. We don't get a chance to interact much other than about work stuff though. These days, anytime I see him is when I go to where he works rather than him coming to my job. The time before last that I saw him, I had my hair down and when we were talking, he suddenly says "you've got something in your hair" and pulls out the tiniest nearly not there piece of fuzz. Granted I could be missreading but it seemed like flirting. Last time I saw him we talked for a while and he teased me about my phone because it was making the same noise as his.

Now it could just be that he likes flirting. It could be that I'm completely misreading. It could also be that he's being nice because of work (his boss really wants us to keep doing business with them but it's not going to happen). I don't really know. Add to that the fact that I'm shy and I have no clue what to do. I mean if he was flirting and interested, he sort of made the last move or effort to put it out there or whatever you want to call it. I'd really rather avoid being really out there at the very least because there are stron odds if it went bad, the guys I work with would hear and tease me but also because I don't think I have the guts for something really out there. I'm kind of stumped.

[Treasure]

the next time you see him, let him know that you know your company won't be doing much business with his in the future, and you are disappointed, b/c you enjoy chatting with him... and should try it outside of the work setting, would he maybe be interested in getting coffee sometime?

this way, this way you've left it open to be just casual, but it can go beyond. He may be unsure of how to approach things, and is trying to gauge your reaction to see if you're open to more flirting etc.

and good luck.

[Plaidman]

What Treasure said. Assuming you wouldn't mind seeing him more though.

He is flirting with you however. Men love women's hair. We like to touch it, and smell it. But it's difficult to do if we do not want to ruin anything we have. He used a minor opening, and you didn't freak out, and he gave you a hint. Kinda open to you now to do another flirt, like what Treasure suggested. If he agrees, or tries to set something up as a hang out? He flirting. If on other hand, he just brushs it off? Perhaps not.

Ya should have given him your number, or ask for his, to ask if your key pads make same noise, or how similar your numbers are. Though that's what I woulda done had positions been reversed.

[zombiequeen]

See, I'm one of those people that apparently flirts with everybody, but I don't eve know. I'll be talking with someone, fine as can be, then later on my husband will ask me if I knew I was flirting with so and so. Not that I meant to, I was trying to be friendly.
It could be he's like that, but I don't know, he seems to be flirting with you. Maybe leave it open for him to try again?

[Food Lady]

See, I'm one of those people that apparently flirts with everybody, but I don't eve know. I'll be talking with someone, fine as can be, then later on my husband will ask me if I knew I was flirting with so and so.

I can just see hubby asking you this in a completely bemused fashion.

[zombiequeen]

I can just see hubby asking you this in a completely bemused fashion.

Exactly. He's like "Ok, did you mean to flirt with [person]? They came and tattled on you."
It gets worse because his friends use me for flirting practice! I don't even know half the time until somebody says something.

[Andara Bledin]

It's a shame that some people can't tell the difference between being just friendly and flirting.

I suspect the problem is that so many people aren't friendly unless they are flirting.

^-.-^

[Shangri-laschild]

Well, I've been back twice now to see him. Apparently my brain is much too chicken to do anything as forward as ask if he wants to hang out some time. He definitely seems to enjoy talking to me so while I am still confused, there at least hasn't seemed to be any negative feedback so far. Planning on trying some more and trying to figure out what all I can do. I tried the whole handing him something and making more hand contact that usually necessary because it was all I could think of at the time but I fumbled that and just ended up looking slightly clumsy oh well. I figure at the very least, I'm brave enough to keep going in and chatting with him and getting to know him a little better which may lead to learning about something we have in common othe than work that I could use to make me comfortable asking if he wants to hang out sometime. Granted, best case is that I get up the nerve but my brain tends to blank out under pressure so who knows. The fact that I am very aware that this would be ten times simpler and easier if I could just muster up the courage doesn't help but on the plus side, I definitely like talking to him anyway.

[Treasure]

thought of another suggestion - since you and him apparently play with each others phones - get his, and go into his date book, add a reminder, with alarm, for him to call your number (not your name) at like 730pm 2 nights from when you're doing this - like if you go in on Tuesday, set it for Thursday

(does not have to be those times or dates, just something reasonable for both of ya'll's work schedules.)

[Shangri-laschild]

thought of another suggestion

We weren't actually messing with each other's phones. I got a text and an email on mine which both had the same dings as his. He mentioned it but neithe of us had the other's phone at any point it was a nice idea though.

[blas]

It's very easy to talk to people of the opposite gender. Just be confident and approachable. Confidence is very attractive, and being approachable is a great way to make and keep friends, so even if nothing ever becomes of it, you'll always have friends.

You don't have to be extremely gregarious or hilarious or flashy to get people to be attracted to you. Being confident in who you are, not being afraid to meet and talk to people, knowing who you are and letting it shine....that attracts people.

Flirting vs being nice......everyone is wired differently and everyone interprets interaction differently. You may have been flirted with many times and just never knew it. Being nice is being pleasant/approachable. Flirting is making you feel special or wanted, sometimes without being obvious, sometimes being completely obvious.