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Christmas Gift Help
Like a lot of people I've seen on this forum, I too have a tendancy to want to go "underground" for the winter months. For me, it's a combination of growing up in retail and living with an extended family that hates each other - but still insists on spending every holiday together.
Anyway, I'll get on with my question.
In my family, I have free-loading uncle. Back when he had a job, he was a pretty neat person to hang around with. Ever since he's had kids, he's kind of given up. My aunt lost her receptionist job when the Dr she was working for retired and now they both mooch off my grandmother. My grandmother is in her late 70's as is becoming increasingly senile. Basically my uncle has trained my grandmother that whenever she sees his car pull up, she gets out her checkbook. In the past year she's given him $40,000 cash and last Christmas she bought him a new $30,000 truck. This spring he convinced her to give him her house. So she's living with my mom right now. We've tried to talk to my grandmother, but she doesn't understand why we would want to break up her family. So the rest of us just lay low and silently fume when he calls her "his ATM". I've threatened to call Adult Protective Services, but I don't know if I actually could.
So here's my problem. I have to buy gifts for these people and I'm at a loss. I know I can't afford to buy him a new boat or whatever else he wants this week. I also know that no matter how much money I spend on him and his kids, that they will still hate us and bad mouth us to everyone. Part of me just wants to sponser a local family in thier name or do some other chairity work, because it would make me feel better then spending money on people who A, don't need anything. and B, wouldn't know gratitude if it slapped them in the face with a tuna.
(How do I know they don't like us? Last year my mother overheard him telling my grandmother "I don't want Kanalah's family coming over for Christmas this year. They never get me anything good!". Later in the week I got a phone call from my grandmother saying we were no longer welcome at her house.)
What would you do?
Anyway, I'll get on with my question.
In my family, I have free-loading uncle. Back when he had a job, he was a pretty neat person to hang around with. Ever since he's had kids, he's kind of given up. My aunt lost her receptionist job when the Dr she was working for retired and now they both mooch off my grandmother. My grandmother is in her late 70's as is becoming increasingly senile. Basically my uncle has trained my grandmother that whenever she sees his car pull up, she gets out her checkbook. In the past year she's given him $40,000 cash and last Christmas she bought him a new $30,000 truck. This spring he convinced her to give him her house. So she's living with my mom right now. We've tried to talk to my grandmother, but she doesn't understand why we would want to break up her family. So the rest of us just lay low and silently fume when he calls her "his ATM". I've threatened to call Adult Protective Services, but I don't know if I actually could.
So here's my problem. I have to buy gifts for these people and I'm at a loss. I know I can't afford to buy him a new boat or whatever else he wants this week. I also know that no matter how much money I spend on him and his kids, that they will still hate us and bad mouth us to everyone. Part of me just wants to sponser a local family in thier name or do some other chairity work, because it would make me feel better then spending money on people who A, don't need anything. and B, wouldn't know gratitude if it slapped them in the face with a tuna.
(How do I know they don't like us? Last year my mother overheard him telling my grandmother "I don't want Kanalah's family coming over for Christmas this year. They never get me anything good!". Later in the week I got a phone call from my grandmother saying we were no longer welcome at her house.)
What would you do?
Why not spend it on either (in no particular order)
)
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