need positive thoughts/advice

[KellyHabersham]

*I know I've posted about this situation briefly before, but since it's still going on.....any advice, suggestions, or just positive thoughts would be appreciated*

"Heather" (my daughter) has been going through a rough time lately........apparently she's not doing well in school, has had some issues regarding Facebook/computer usage, and it's NOT working out with her living with my mom. (there's also some personality conflicts involved.....let's just say that Mom seems to be making the same parenting mistakes she did with my siblings and I)

Problem is, Heather really doesn't have anywhere else to go - I can't support two people on my income, and in fact, I'm having to move back in with my mom when my lease is up. And "Jeremy" (the father) couldn't be counted on for help........he's never been in the picture, and wouldn't be a good influence at all.

So......according to my sister's Facebook status, she and her husband are apparently thinking about having Heather live with them, and perhaps adopting her.

[Midnight12]

if your sister and her husband are equipped mentally emotionally financially and all other areas to take her in and be able to raise her then yes.

I don't know the whole situation and am not implying anything just saying. And with computer usage it may have to go to the computer is a reward/privelage not a right and she can only use it when she has good grades or does chores or the positive reinforcement. I suppose that would be for the person in charge of her care and/or legal guardians

[KellyHabersham]

Well, the only problem with that is they don't really have the room in their house - they've got three young kids of their own. But, they ARE willing to help out, so I'm definitely grateful for that!

For now though, the plan seems to be to see how things go when I move back into my mom's house, and go from there if the situation doesn't improve.

[Midnight12]

Its a start at least. Glad that you have family willing to help!
Sending good vibes your way.

[Seshat]

They can take Legal Guardian status without actually adopting her, if that suits the family best.

That way, when your own situation improves, you can resume being the legal parental figure (assuming it works out for you all) without having to do anything more than notify the courts.

[Taboo]

They can take Legal Guardian status without actually adopting her, if that suits the family best.

That way, when your own situation improves, you can resume being the legal parental figure (assuming it works out for you all) without having to do anything more than notify the courts.

This seems like the best idea, because it sounds like her home situation could be changing again whether you eventually take care of her yourself or not. Suggest this to them, perhaps, and then play it by ear when you move back and see how things are going.

[KellyHabersham]

So far, things have calmed down a bit - Heather's been much better about getting homework done, and my sister & her husband are trying to work out being able to do more things with her. And she's admitted that she doesn't want to move out of my mom's house since I'm moving back in, so I'm hoping that will help things.

The only negative bit is that her father is still kind of trying to get back into her life, which is NOT what is needed right now......I can see that opening up a whole other can of worms.

[Seshat]

She's probably old enough to specifically ask the courts not to get him back into her life, if that's what she wants.