How to survive Christmas.

[Taboo]

I know that there are a lot of us who have issues with this time of year - either we're stuck alone and hate the comments people will make about it, or we're dealing with uncomfortable family situations. I figured a thread with tips from people on how to get through the holidays might be good right about now. I'm going to throw up my own awkward situation, but feel free to post your own and ask for advice - this thread is for anyone who thinks holidays may be rough on them to share and help others.

I'm going to be spending holidays with my aunt and her family. My uncle's mother will be there, and her Alzheimer's has gotten so severe that she has trouble recognizing her children. Since my uncle's brother has Down's, he's going to be very confused and upset, and probably acting out, so there will be a lot of drama and a lot of her wandering out of the house and us needing to go find her. I'm glad that family is still making an effort to include them but... urgh, drama. My father will also be there and we don't get along well in closed quarters. My mother is not celebrating Christmas and when I offered to spend it with her anyway, she refused, but I'm sure she'll still call me the day of to guilt trip me for going with my father... even though she told me to in the first place...

Coping: laptop (to play WoW), Skype (to talk to the new sort-of-boyfriend), and possibly drinking my way through the end of the holidays if all else fails. I also am showing some of my kid's book work to publishers and editors in January so I can always claim I need to polish up my books and just hide in a room and 'work' while actually on here. Anything else?

[Midnight12]

i guess this might help for those who are away from family for christmas
I want to see my mom and stepdad for christmas but as they live in texas that won't be possible so I plan on having hubs family close here as they seem to have accepted me for the most part and at least that way I won't have to worry about depression so much as december in general brings me down and its not because of the holiday.

Sending out personalized cards. And I don't mean cards with a little note per person I mean write a page of whats gone on in the last few months or the major events or with a few pictures and send them out. I have gotten one or two from people who moved away and kept in contact. They print one page of a personal message as if we were catching up and either on the back of that page or another page, pictures of the latest events. I did that with family last year. In a way its a thoughtful gift plus it carries memories on paper.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

I might be making this worse/more awkward, but, I'd consider what you think Christmas is, and go from there. Or even any holiday/time off from work/ time a nation/group of people set aside a day to celebrate.
Christmas to me is an official celebration of the birth of the Christ. Granted, it probably happened sometime in April (sheep, field, etc.), but people will never really know when (whoI believe to be) the Savior was born, so, the 25th of December is as good as any. (Although, given the knowledge, I'd totally go for that date!) It's also a day for me to more formally recognize what those in my life mean to me, by me giving them presents, cards, anything-- or just kind words that are genuine and emphatic. That's why I buy presents, that's why I like presents (aside from the "duh, they're fun") and that's why I try to spend it with people I love/like a whole lot.
I also like LexiaFira's idea about cards. I need to do that.
If you sort out what exactly any holiday/time officially off means to you, it might help, oooorr it might make it worse. Yay if it helps... boo if it makes it worse.
EDIT: I'm so sorry Taboo-- Alzheimer's is the worst! I shudder to contemplate the loss of my mind... with your other relatives, I think an organization/proximity break pattern would be good-- like, a break from your dad and taking your Uncle's brother (your other uncle?) out with you to play in the snow if he's into that sort of thing, every hour or something. I have to do that, I get ansty with the same room/people if I'm forced to be there, like at a party.

[b2addm]

...I'm so sorry Taboo-- Alzheimer's is the worst! I shudder to contemplate the loss of my mind...

I second that. I've witnessed Alzheimer's firsthand and it's heartbreaking the way it changes a person, when you've known them for what seems like forever. You kinda lose them as they lose themselves. It's just incredibly sad. I feel much sympathy for people going through that with a loved one.

[Taboo]

I second that. I've witnessed Alzheimer's firsthand and it's heartbreaking the way it changes a person, when you've known them for what seems like forever. You kinda lose them as they lose themselves. It's just incredibly sad. I feel much sympathy for people going through that with a loved one.

It's been really awkward for us because I'm not related to her directly - she's my uncle (by marriage's) mother - and she keeps thinking I'm her daughter, meanwhile actual grown-up daughter will be in the room with us being ignored.

[protege]

I'm not sure what we're doing for Christmas this year. I do know, that I'm going to eat way too much at my mothers, and yes, wine and Crown Royal will be present

This is the first year that my grandmother won't be with us. She passed away after a stroke in August Both of my maternal grandparents are gone now--her husband died of a heart attack back in '89. Granted, my grandmother's mind was failing, but her presence helped keep the insanity levels to a minimum. With her gone now, I'm not sure really what to expect.

My brothers and I were always closer to my mother's side of the family. For whatever reason, my dad's side never paid much attention to their only grandkids. They rarely visited, rarely called, etc. Unless they needed someone to fix a faucet No calling us because it's "expensive," yet she talks to my aunt (dad's younger sister) daily

Because of how my paternal grandmother (Grandpa died in 2001) acts towards her only grandchildren at times, she's earned a spot on my mother's shit list. What has happened in the last couple of years...is that my mom will go to all the trouble of putting together an awesome dinner (big sandwich from the supermarket, wine, dessert, stuffed shells, etc.) and then Grandma and my aunt...don't even bother to show up. Instead, they go to Friendly's!

I grew up in a dysfunctional family. That's fucked up in itself, but add the rest...and there's no wonder arguments and/or drama start. With that said, it's no wonder the holidays are stressful.

But, at least when my parents start arguing...I don't have to deal with it. I can simply walk the two blocks and get away from it.