Dealing with someone who's Bipolar

[Seshat]

In my own family, when one of us is having a bad day, all of us feel it.

And yes, you sound like you're suffering from "carer's blues". AKA caregiver strain, aka .. oh, whatever.

It's very, very real. It's well known in the disability community. And it's very treatable. Provide the caregiver with sufficient support.

Financial, physical, emotional and spiritual.

You may well be eligible for:
* respite care (professionals take him for a few hours, a day, a week, etc)
* community carers (who do housework for you, cook meals, other domestic chores)
* nursing or personal carers (if he needs assistance dressing, bathing, etc)
* financial aid of some sort (or some sorts)
* charity assistance of some sorts
* someone to help you work through the maze
* multiple people, both professional and other carers, to lean on emotionally
* the care of your church/spiritual advisor of choice.

[Teysa]

Thanks again for the support everyone. I have my first visit with the psychiatrist tomorrow. She seemed real nice on the phone.

As far as respite care and such goes, I don't think we need that. He's perfectly able bodied and prefers doing as much as possible himself.

I think the stress of being the only breadwinner is getting to me more than anything. I'm at the don't exactly hate my job but don't like it all that much either stage. At the same time, steady paychecks qualify as a good thing. Once they unfreeze the transfers and I can get a store closer to home, that will help quite a bit.

[blas]

You have my sympathy. I think it's almost contagious, if you're around someone whose mood can change at the drop of a hat that quick, it's almost like you can inherit the same thing if you're around it enough.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Actually, blas, there is a thing in psychology that basically says, yes, mood and even things like stress, post-traumatic stress disorder, and worse, are 'catch-able.' It's like secondary traumatic stress or something like that. Ain't the brain wonderful?

[Seshat]

As far as respite care and such goes, I don't think we need that. He's perfectly able bodied and prefers doing as much as possible himself.

Your mind needs respite too!

[teh_blumchenkinder]

As far as bringing in another carer... you might just need to schedule a small vacation day for yourself, without bringing in another person. I get the impression he can be by himself for a few hours, at least. If you can relax and be more at ease at home (like I am), then send him to a camping trip or something he wants to do-- but is away from the house, and that he can handle and you don't have to worry about him. If you get more relaxed and recharged out of the home, then send yourself on that camping trip... or ski trip, or shopping, or just a day and night in the Big City, just to chill and walk around. Try to watch how you feel, and when, maybe even why, and you can head off major blowups. ... But sometimes major letting off steam is needed, and that's why the Japanese have places you can pay $100 and smash vases and shit with baseball bats.

[Teysa]

The first visit went real well. The counselor is real personable and if I want to continue seeing her after the employer paid sessions are over, she has very reasonable rates.

I have been needing another what I call a 'me day' for a while now. Depending on what my tax return looks like, I'll probably take one in the near future. I'm spending the day with my mom next week, so that will be good too. Moms make everything better. (Well, at least mine does.)

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Good! Glad you got a winner! That doesn't always happen.
"Needing a me day for a while"-- yeeahhh... that explains the stress. You'll probably need more 'me days' than is 'typical,' simply because of negative stress levels. (Like, conventions are a blast, but are still stressful-- positive stress. Everything causes stress, but whether it's good or bad, yeah... woo psychology.)

[Seshat]

"me days" is what respite care is for.

Almost everyone (certainly everyone sensible) in the disability field knows that carers need "me days".

Unfortunately, a lot of respite care is structured for the intellectually disabled; those of us who are intellectually adult but 'merely' physically or mentally disabled don't want to get involved in the kindergarten-level activities on offer. But you do get fed, medicated, and protected from manic/depressive states.