how does one explain.......

[KellyHabersham]

......to your child why you don't date/aren't married? Not quite sure how to word that, but since Heather has gotten to the age where she's interested in boys, this is something which she has noticed and asked me about, and it's a tough issue to get into because she doesn't have the same problems which I did at that age, and can't always relate.

What I HAVE told her is that I'm not single by choice, but I've just never been the type who easily attracted guys,and it would be rather difficult to find someone whom I was happy with, and who would fit in with the family. (Plus, the fact that I have Aspberger's syndrome makes social situations harder for me to deal with)

[Trjgul]

"I haven't found someone I like yet." Most kids, especially if they're still pretty young (how old is your daughter?) will be fine with a simple answer. Hope that helps!

[KellyHabersham]

She became a teen this past fall, so simple answers don't always work with her anymore.....much as I'd like them to sometimes.

[surreal20]

One day, it may be beneficial to just have a real heart to heart talk with her. My mother never sugar coated a lot of things, but she was a nurse, and felt education in all ways was important, no matter your age.

And i gather, right now, that's a little difficult for you to do.

Perhaps you could simply say "I'm single because mom has an illness that not many people can understand, so for now, it's best that I focus on you growing up. I'm sure one day I'll find someone who will understand me as much as you do, but I'm just not really looking yet."

Or some form of that variation. I suppose "illness" could be changed to something more like "a lifestyle" or something else. Kinda glossing over the details, but not really sugar coating it either.

[jedimaster91]

Mr Jedi's mother passed away when he was three and FIL never remarried. Of course, he had six boys to raise in between making sure they had enough money. Sure, you only have one (at least that's what I gather). Not dating allows for so much more Mommy-Daughter time.

[KellyHabersham]

Well, it's also kind of hard to explain that I don't work in an area where it's easy to meet guys (I'd have to move up a position/work in a different library), and my work hours/the bus schedule make it hard to get to places where I might be able to meet someone.