Other People's Children

[AnaKhouri]

I've discovered that having a kid of my own doesn't make me like other people's children any better than I did before.

We took Khan (20 months old) to a place that had a couple of the big Thomas train tables (we are acquainted with every train table in a 20 mile radius around our house, I think- Khan loves trains more than anything else in the world. For now.).

Usually little kids seem to play amazingly well around these tables- I've seen very little snatching or fighting. But today there was this one kid, maybe 5 (I can't guess ages well; at any rate he was considerably older than Khan) who was a whiny little train-grabber. He snatched a couple engines from Khan; I didn't say anything at the time because Khan didn't fuss about it (he hasn't hit the 'mine' stage just yet), he had others. But then the kid collected almost every train at the one table, until he seriously had 22 engines stuck together- I counted. Khan at that point had one engine. As the kid was trying to maneuver his very long train around the track, Khan reached over and plucked the last one from the train- Percy, if you're familiar with Thomas the Tank Engine.

The kid lost his mind. He tried to snatch it back from Khan, who pressed his lips together and turned away. The kid then went running to an older woman, presumably his grandmother, crying and screaming (literally) that the boy took his train. His grandma pretty much told him to take a chill pill, he had more than enough trains. Khan stared at the kid like he had two heads for a moment, then began playing with Percy and his other engine, putting them in and out of the roundhouse. He ignored the tantruming kid. So did I. He went on crying for about 15-20 minutes, until we left for lunch.

Now usually if Khan takes a toy from another kid I take it away and give it back. I know children don't really understand the concept of sharing until they are 5 or so, but seriously, this kid had half the train cars from both tables and had already taken toys from my son, my kid had already handled it his way and now other kid's grandma seemed to be handling him, so I figured, hey, life is tough kid.

Am I mean? Should I have given Percy back? I feel bad because I felt resentful of a kid, but I have to stand up for Khan too, don't I? But how far is too far?

[Thatgirl71]

I don't think you were mean at all, if anything, you were very patient with that other kid, I don't think alot of other parents would have been. I will say good for grandma for telling the kid to chill, the parents I usually come across usually take their pwecious angels side and would have given you and your son the stink eye, sounds like grandma is good at grandparenting and is of the "can't always get what you want kid" variety, good for her!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I think you did fine, I personally would have probably done the same thing.

You're probably either already aware or learning that when you go out to place where your kid is playing with other kids, there is always at least one of "that kid" in every setting. At least his granny was being reasonable. Kid need to learn to share at his age.

If your kid took it out of his hand, or if the stockpile of toys was more even, that would be one thing. But your kid taking the last car out of the other kid's stockpile when the other kid was being that greedy was not an unreasonable move.

On one hand, yeah, got to learn about sharing and manners and the concept of "he had it first." But the other equally important lesson is that one must stand up for themselves when someone else is being that unreasonable.

[Aethian]

I think you did right.

[Jester]

Am I mean? Should I have given Percy back?

No, and fuck no.

The other kid was a greedy, mean little shit. Had I ever acted like that when I was a kid, my mother would have lectured me, and my father would have killed me.

Khan did nothing wrong. Big Bully Kid was hogging all the trains, all Khan did was take one from his mountainous horde. As for you, while normally I would say you should teach your kid not to take from others, Khan was, in his toddler way, standing up for himself and telling the Bully to stick it.

I love the fact that Grandma also told the Bully to stick it. And by you not scolding Khan, you also, in effect, made it clear to Bully that he could stick it. Had you lectured Khan and made him give back Percy, you would have been validating Bully's actions to him and to Khan. That would have been wrong.

There is nothing wrong with wishing misery on miserable people. I am not at all ashamed to say I am glad that the Bully had a tantrum and was hating life. Fuck him. Time to learn that the rest of the world exists, and that you don't always get your own way, ya little snot. In essence, fuck him. The only injustice I see is that the little fucker got his train horde that large before he realized any consequences.

[Mytical]

Not much I can add that the others haven't said. I think you handled it better then I would have.