Depression sucks

[Kanalah]

Some of you guys know that I am having a shit-tacular week.

Without going into too much detail, I am incredibly overwhelmed and there is no help in sight.

I'm so upset about everything and knowing that I have to start school soon and that it's just more stuff piling on top of everything else that I have to do without any help and I just snapped.

I dropped all my classes. I'm not going to waste my time and money when I know I'm just going to fail anyways. I hate depression and it sucks.

And feel free to laugh at me and call me names, I'm used to it.

[Seshat]

Why would we?

A significant proportion of CS suffers from depression or other mental disorders ourselves.

If you're ready to take on advice and support, let us know.

[Cat]

I will never laugh at anyone who suffers from depression. I have it, well, mine is the seasonal variety, but its there. It does suck indeed.

*hugs* Stay strong.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Why would we do that?

One of the few things that has kept me from just not showing up to work lately is the fact that I need to pay for the roof over my head. Trust me, I know the feeling.

If you have the option, sometimes the best thing you can do is take a break.

[Der Cute]

What I did, earlier this year, when I had a shit load dropped on me AND a mass pile of depression was to write every single issue out as a list. Then again, I like lists.

1. Losing job
2. Too many classes (93434874597 credits)
3. parents being turds (yelling, no help)

Stuff like that.
Give it a few days. I had to give it a few days - I was in shock, literally. After the shock wore off, I started tackling it. One by one. My counselor even told me that REGULAR non depressed people would have been in shock with my list.

You don't have to tell us what the pile of shit is. Remember that something that bothers me may not bother you, vice versa. BUT the main 3 triggers to a depression crash are: Loss of Job, Loss of Life, Financial Issues. I had 2 of those 3. No wonder I was cross-eyed.

Although you may have dropped your classes, you are still enrolled at school. See if you can get to the school's medical/clinic/counselors. Get some help. Or if you're still on your parent's insurance, go there. This may be a temporary shit storm, or it might be longer...or even might be your depression (if that's a permanent one) making you unable to deal with the mess.

Get help, write it out, and there is no super uber epic deadline for school. Remember that.

[Kanalah]

I'm not still living at home, I'm married and trying to juggle housework, kids, and running my own business.

I'm just really upset because I found out that my "loving and supportive" hubby seems to think that I can just breeze through a 4 year degree and he doesn't need to help out at all with the housework or children so I can have more time to focus on schoolwork.

Plus he'd shit a brick if I did poorly. So I decided that it's probably for the best to just drop out. If I'm not going to have any support then I WILL fail.

[Mytical]

*hugs* I will keep my opinions about a non-supportive special other to myself for your sake, and the sake of not going into fratching. I'm here if you ever need to talk, though sometimes a flake...

[Seshat]

Housework
+
Kids
+
Business
=
Two or three full time stress loads.

Add school, and that's up to another full time stress load.

Get depression counselling, and discuss the possibility (with your counsellor) of having a counsellor hit your husband upside the head with a clue-by-four.

[Sapphire Silk]

I'm not still living at home, I'm married and trying to juggle housework, kids, and running my own business.

I'm just really upset because I found out that my "loving and supportive" hubby seems to think that I can just breeze through a 4 year degree and he doesn't need to help out at all with the housework or children so I can have more time to focus on schoolwork.

Plus he'd shit a brick if I did poorly. So I decided that it's probably for the best to just drop out. If I'm not going to have any support then I WILL fail.

I understand this perfectly. This was my situation in nursing school, and it was a big factor in my divorce.

However, I don't agree dropping out is the answer. I think you need marriage counseling. If he is refusing to help you, yet has high expectations then there is a disconnect between what is possible and what is not. Even if he won't go you should.

Some husbands use this kind of passive aggressive crap because they feel threatened by the potential of their wife being more "successful" than they are. I've seen this happen to many of my nursing students. They want their wives to fail.

Or it could simply be a case of "I don't want to change my life while wife is in school". Either way it's passive aggressive, and it's crap.

You deserve to be successful in life. You deserve to accomplish your goals. Never forget that.

A college degree would probably mean a rise in your standard of living. That's something worth fighting for.

But first you have to deal with this depression. You are clearly unhappy. Go to marriage counseling. Go now, with or without hubby. Be kind to yourself . . . you NEED this.

[ArcticChicken]

I'm just really upset because I found out that my "loving and supportive" hubby seems to think that I can just breeze through a 4 year degree and he doesn't need to help out at all with the housework or children so I can have more time to focus on schoolwork.

What the fuck is wrong with that man?! You listed four jobs there, how many is he working?!

When my mom decided she wanted to go back to school and become a midwife, my dad stepped up and made sure she was able to, and they were divorced!

[Kanalah]

I think in his world, hubby just thinks that everything I touch just turns out so wonderful that he thinks I can breeze through school and still handle everything else. I gues it's a compliment?

But he knows how stressful things are for me, even though we're planning a meeting today to see if we can get our kids into private school. Our daughter is special needs and I've been homeschooling both kids on top of all the housework, etc.

I also have 2 semi big orders to finish this week, and I've been working around the clock whenever I get 5 minutes to myself to get them done. I'd say that he has no clue actually how much work that I do get done, but when I do 'really big craft show' he stays home and watches the kids.

Anyway, so because of all the drama/stress, etc I was up all night, and then this morning when he got up I recieved another lovely lecture.

To be honest I'm scared of counseling. My mother put me in counseling from the age of 6 - 19 to try to "stop me from ruining her family". Instead of actually listening to me about what was going on and getting my abusive parents some therapy, they just listened to whoever was signing the checks and taught me to be a doormat. So forgive me if I'm a bit wary of counselors now.

[Sapphire Silk]

I think in his world, hubby just thinks that everything I touch just turns out so wonderful that he thinks I can breeze through school and still handle everything else. I gues it's a compliment?

This is precisely why you need to get him into counseling . . . so he can understand it is not a breeze.

But he knows how stressful things are for me, even though we're planning a meeting today to see if we can get our kids into private school. Our daughter is special needs and I've been homeschooling both kids on top of all the housework, etc.

I can understand wanting to homeschool a special needs child. The public schools often just can't or won't meet the individual needs of the child sufficiently.

Anyway, so because of all the drama/stress, etc I was up all night, and then this morning when he got up I recieved another lovely lecture.

To be honest I'm scared of counseling. My mother put me in counseling from the age of 6 - 19 to try to "stop me from ruining her family". Instead of actually listening to me about what was going on and getting my abusive parents some therapy, they just listened to whoever was signing the checks and taught me to be a doormat. So forgive me if I'm a bit wary of counselors now.

I've had bad counselors, too. In which case, you find another counselor. There are good ones out there . . . lots of them. The key to finding the right one is to have a frank discussion on what you want to get out of counseling, and ask the counselor how he plans to help you meet your goals.

I get that it is scary . . . I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. But please try again. I think if you find a compatible counselor it will help you.

Good luck!

[Seshat]

Special needs child, makes that an extra difficult job. Homeschooling the children adds even more difficulty.

As for the counselling, remember that this time you are the one signing the checks. If you're not getting the help you need (and deserve!), see a different counsellor.

[ArcticChicken]

I think in his world, hubby just thinks that everything I touch just turns out so wonderful that he thinks I can breeze through school and still handle everything else. I gues it's a compliment?

Doesn't mean he's not being a jackass.

Anyway, so because of all the drama/stress, etc I was up all night, and then this morning when he got up I recieved another lovely lecture.

This being my point. Your husband needs a clue-by-four to the back of the head, STAT. I'm not trying to say he's doing it on purpose or anything, but the man desperately needs to touch base with reality.

To be honest I'm scared of counseling.

So was I. I swear to you it will help, once you find the right counselor. Remember, you're the one wrighting the checks, you get to decide. If you don't like the first one, go on to the next, and the next, and the next if need be. It's worth it. I swear to you, it will help.

[crazyofficeclerk]

I will keep my comments to myself except to say this. You do have a support system. Us. Granted we can't do your laundry or watch your kids but we are here to listen. It really sucks being depressed. It is a shame that you had such a crappy counselor before, but believe me they aren't all like that. Its too bad that you aren't in NW Ohio or I would send you to the person I saw as a kid, then again as an adult. She made me realize a lot about myself. Keep looking. If you don't like one, try another.