Child Rum scared to death of restaurant bathroom

[CaroPhoenix]

Last Friday (4/22), the Rum family went to their local Smokey Bones restaurant. We go 1-2 times a month 'cos we like the food, and Child Rum has a crush on one of the waiters.

So, maybe 10 minutes after we were seated, Child Rum decided she needed to use the bathroom. (She says it with an accent ala Dame Edna - don't ask, or do, it doesn't matter. )

I had to go to the bathroom too. So she & I got up, walked into the bathroom, and I proceeded to herd (for lack of a better term) her into the handicap stall. This way we both go potty & I can keep an eye on her and make she's not doing naughty stuff.

We get to the doorway of the handicap stall. Child Rum screams bloody murder, refuses to go in, turns around and the other stall is about to be vacant so I tell her she can use the other stall. Nope, refuses to stay in the bathroom. She runs out of the bathroom, back into the restaurant, and I'm so worried about her, I don't look at the toilet, I just turn around, book it out of the bathroom, pause at the hostess station letting the girl know something scared my daughter in the handicap stall and then proceeded to our table.

Okay, now onto the reason of the post: we went to Smokey Bones again tonight. (Billy wasn't there, and though that made Child Rum sad, she accepted it - whew!). However, at one point she had to go potty. We got up, but the closer to the bathroom we got, the more frightened she became. We got to the front of the door, I was trying to push her along, but she made a break grid it and ran back to the table.

She was shaking like a leaf! I have no clue what traumatized my daughter and no clue on how to remedy this situation. She was fine as soon as we got back to the table. She "flirted" with the waiter, she ate all her food (plus half of my fries). She just refuses to use the potty.

What should I do?

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Have you tried asking her? I know for the longest time I was freaked by the flushing, to the extent that I wouldn't use the toilets-- but it evolved to being freaked out when they flushed when I was on them, to "meh" that it is these last few years (I 'got over it' about 3 years ago, I'm 25.)
If she uses other toilets, excellent. So it's just the handicap stall at that one restaurant?
Hm. Maybe she's seen a horror movie snippet or drama snippet that happened in a place that looked like that to her.
It might also be claustrophobia. It happens with me sometimes in small rooms with other people, but not even smaller rooms (like my tiny-ass 'walk-in' closet) when it's just me.
I'm very glad she's fine once she's away from the situation!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Lot of kids find the loud flush to be very scary. Also, a lot of them are terrified by the "auto flush" feature. Maybe it's something like that?

[CaroPhoenix]

Nope. It wasn't the auto flush. There was something in the toilet bowl that terrified Child Rum and now she's too scared to go into the bathroom.

Thinking about it, I vaguely remember seeing the toilet water being yellow, and a flash of something else, definitely not a floater.

I guess we're just going to have to go potty before we leave the house and then go potty somewhere after leaving the restaurant?

[Seshat]

Maybe contact the restaurant, and plan to go at a quiet time when one of the people she likes at the restaurant is there.

Someone check the loo, making sure it's clean and 'safe'.

Then you and the 'nice restaurant person' try to entice her to go just to look. Just to see that the scary thing isn't there anymore.

Promise that you'll both be there with her.

Maybe give her a 'magic wand' that can chase monsters away?

Warning: I've never raised children, much less autistic children. This is me making guesses. I hope they raise ideas, at least.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

The "magic wand" thing is not a bad idea. I've used environmental scents as "Monter repellant" before. Maybe carry in a little atomizer of something that smells nice and tell her it gets rid of scary stuff?

Obviously, something startled her in there at one point and now she's associating that loo with being scared.

I don't know anything about autistic kids, so you mileage may vary with the "monster repellent" idea.

[CaroPhoenix]

I might try that. Either Magic Wand (which we have) or a little air freshener (do they make them from key chains?)

Her most favorite person at the restaurant is Billy. And Billy is a boy. No taking him into the bathroom, but maybe he can help me walk her there?

I might have to check out the bathroom first.

I did talk to her for a little bit this morning. She said there was "stuff" in the toilet bowl, and the people need to get rid of it.

I told her it was probably gotten rid of by now. But I don't think she believes me. I might just have to pick her up, kicking and screaming and shove her into the bathroom, but then that would definitely traumatize her even more. Right?

I don't know. I'm confused. Why didn't I get the Mother's Manual(TM) at the hospital?

[Shpepper]

I love the idea of monster repellant. When my kids were little, we had Mr, Moon ( a flashlight) that got rid of monsters. We also had an inspector Gadget McDonalds toy that got rid of nightmares. It's amazing what works for kids. As for the wonderful ChildRum, perhaps she would be better off talking to the person who cleans the bathroom and have them tell her that they did get rid of the stuff that was there.