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My father back when he was a teen had a brother who ran away from the family, I can't really blame him Dad's side of the family is toxic. We never heard from him again but knew he lived in the area. I went to school with a girl with the same last name as me, teachers used to say we kind of looked alike and we spent years being asked if we were related. We always said no, since she never knew her Father's family and there are others around with the same last name.
My Father has been wanting to reconnect with his missing brother, the toxic family has died off and he misses his brother, he always has. So since I was friends on Facebook with the girl with the same last name as mine I asked if she maybe knew of a man with Dad's brother's name. Her father has that name, but he said his family died in a car accident when he was young and he was raised by grandparents she never met.
I asked if he remembered any family members, maybe a cousin with my father's name. Both my father and his brother had shared names with others in the family. She never replied to it, so I'm afraid I might have upset her.
Today when I was looking at pictures of new son I found a picture of her father (it was tagged and he is also on Facebook), the resemblance was rather shocking, he looks like my other uncles and father. My father looked at the picture and said it was his brother. He said he would like if I asked to see if it's him, but he doesn't know that he claims to have no family. Dad always assumed he said that, saying that the one time cousins had heard from him he said that the family was dead to him. I wish Dad hadn't seen the pictures, I'm afraid he might be hurt if he gets his hopes up.
I want to contact this man but I'm afraid I might loose a friend in the process, and that might Dad might be hurt by the reaction. I don't want to see my Dad hurt most of all, I can live with loosing the friend but to see my Dad hurt kills me inside. The family is gone, the toxic people who ran this man off are gone, my father cared deeply for his brother and can't blame him at all for leaving and wishes he had done that himself. I just don't know what to write, I'm afraid he might stop reading anything I send. I want this to end happily but the family has caused bitter feelings and I'm afraid it won't.
Any advice would be helpful, I just need to tell someone about this. Both my Mother and I are torn about it, she knows about the car accident story and is afraid of my father being hurt but wants to see him be reunited with his brother too.
My Father has been wanting to reconnect with his missing brother, the toxic family has died off and he misses his brother, he always has. So since I was friends on Facebook with the girl with the same last name as mine I asked if she maybe knew of a man with Dad's brother's name. Her father has that name, but he said his family died in a car accident when he was young and he was raised by grandparents she never met.
I asked if he remembered any family members, maybe a cousin with my father's name. Both my father and his brother had shared names with others in the family. She never replied to it, so I'm afraid I might have upset her.
Today when I was looking at pictures of new son I found a picture of her father (it was tagged and he is also on Facebook), the resemblance was rather shocking, he looks like my other uncles and father. My father looked at the picture and said it was his brother. He said he would like if I asked to see if it's him, but he doesn't know that he claims to have no family. Dad always assumed he said that, saying that the one time cousins had heard from him he said that the family was dead to him. I wish Dad hadn't seen the pictures, I'm afraid he might be hurt if he gets his hopes up.
I want to contact this man but I'm afraid I might loose a friend in the process, and that might Dad might be hurt by the reaction. I don't want to see my Dad hurt most of all, I can live with loosing the friend but to see my Dad hurt kills me inside. The family is gone, the toxic people who ran this man off are gone, my father cared deeply for his brother and can't blame him at all for leaving and wishes he had done that himself. I just don't know what to write, I'm afraid he might stop reading anything I send. I want this to end happily but the family has caused bitter feelings and I'm afraid it won't.
Any advice would be helpful, I just need to tell someone about this. Both my Mother and I are torn about it, she knows about the car accident story and is afraid of my father being hurt but wants to see him be reunited with his brother too.
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