I just want to feel real again...

[JoitheArtist]

I feel completely disconnected from my life, like I'm watching it on tv, or like I'm doped up on something. I've been sleeping even less than usual for me (down from 6-6.5 hours to 5 hours per night) I'm not quite sure how long this has been going on: since the beginning of this year for sure, maybe as early as last November. My friends think it's probably a defense mechanism to the ever-increasing insanity of my job (applied for yet another job today, one I really want). I don't know if that's it or not. I just want to feel fully present in my own life again.

Anyone else gone through something like this? Any ideas for how to snap out of it?

[Mytical]

It may not be something to 'snap out of'. It could be depression. Depression isn't just sadness, it can also be numbness of emotion (ie not feeling anything). I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on tv, but I would suggest you seek a real doctor out about it.

[JoitheArtist]

It may not be something to 'snap out of'. It could be depression. Depression isn't just sadness, it can also be numbness of emotion (ie not feeling anything). I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on tv, but I would suggest you seek a real doctor out about it.

It's possible that it's related to my (diagnosed) bipolar, but I'm not overly inclined to think so. For one thing, the usual emotions/symptoms that I have with my depression have cycled through like they usually do, just muted from the feeling of disconnect. I supposed it's also possible it's just a reaction to the stress, though it would be a new one for me.

[Food Lady]

Exactly what I'm going through, but for me its grief.

[Mytical]

Stress and/or depression can sometimes react differently depending on the circumstances. I am a bit bipolar myself. I have periods where I feel 10' tall and bullet proof, or sometimes everything is funny..and I mean everything. On the flip side of things, I feel like a want to crawl into a hole or I just feel..nothing. At all.

It might not be depression, I can't honestly say that is what it is. All I can say is I hope it gets better for you.

[Kheldarson]

See if getting a new job helps. If so, then it was your reaction to stress. If not, then it could be depression. You could just be in a rut as well. Same old, same old, everything's just boring, so you're out. Do you exercise?

[Food Lady]

Stress and/or depression can sometimes react differently depending on the circumstances. I am a bit bipolar myself. I have periods where I feel 10' tall and bullet proof, or sometimes everything is funny..and I mean everything. On the flip side of things, I feel like a want to crawl into a hole or I just feel..nothing. At all. It might not be depression, I can't honestly say that is what it is. All I can say is I hope it gets better for you.

I've experienced your everything's-funny phase and it's....interesting. :P

[Kara]

If it's job-related, a change may be just the ticket. In the meantime, is there any way you can disconnect from the stress rather than life itself? Like, take a step back and put your focus elsewhere. Take some free time to do something you enjoy that you haven't been able to do for awhile because you were just too busy and/or worried about other things. For example, when I started to feel just so... overwhelmed by life, particularly money problems I couldn't seem to fix and dealing with my marriage that kept inching closer to falling apart every day sometimes, I'd go fishing. I suck at fishing. I've never caught anything, and wouldn't know what to do with something if I did. But when I was little, I loved fishing with my grandpa. He taught me the joy of fishing for the sake of fishing and not catching anything. Maybe he just sucked at it too, but up until a couple of years ago, it was something I hadn't done since long before he passed away. And it all came back, that sense of just enjoying the peace and serenity of the lake and being away from the city and all the stress it held for me. It was like taking a break from life for a few hours. It was refreshing.

Even if I really do suck at it.

[Seshat]

Whenever I'm overloaded and overstressed, I disconnect like that. I come back to 'myself' when I manage to get the stress levels down.

[XCashier]

Anyone else gone through something like this? Any ideas for how to snap out of it?

I'm going through it right now. I hate my job, am trying desperately to find a new one, but there are none in my area right now. I may have to go back to the fabric store (that'd still be better than where I am now!). I've been feeling like things are out-of-kilter for months.

If I had any advice for you, I'd take it myself. But you're not the only one in that boat; I'm sure there are hundreds of thousands of people in the same position.

[Dips]

I think I know what you're talking about. I have often stepped out of myself when I'm was in a situation that was extremely overwhelming. It's a coping mechanism that allows you to manage without going insane and perfectly normal.

From everything you've written about your job, it's completely understandable that you're experiencing overwhelming stress. I'd still bring this up to your therapist just to be on the safe side. I'm not a professional and can't provide the insight a professional could.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

As I've read through the original post and this thread I think I've been disconnecting a lot lately too. In my case I sleep too much and I'm usually tired, but I don't get much done. On work days I get up and go to work and when I get home I do the bare minimum, then sack out on the couch with the laptop and the TV on. On days off I sometimes get more done but most of it is still frittered away. I FEEL things, but I have no energy.

In any event, as the others said you are definitely not alone...do talk to your counselor about it. I'm planning to ask my psychiatrist more questions when I see him next week. (((HUGS)))

[raw456]

I went through something similar about 6-7 years ago.

Complete disconnection to anything around me. Mine got to a point that I convinced myself I was actually dead and was a ghost.

I had very little contact with people (even at work) and felt completely alone and unloved (even though I wasn't) It took me while to get out of it. It wasn't until a few years later that I realised that for me, it was a way of coping while I worked through a lot of emotion baggage.

I found I wrote alot during that time. I had journels full of dark and disturbing stuff, but for me it was better to write it down, than act it out. I was desperate to talk to someone, but never did as I didn't know how to start or what their reaction would be.

Everyone's situation is different, what I went through will not be exactely the same as what you are experiencing. I would recommend talking to someone. IF you dont feel comfortable talking to your doctor or family/firends, see if there are any over the phone services that you can call. most of them are anonymous.

Or feel free to PM me. I may not be able to help much, but sometimes getting things off your chest to someone who is outside the situation can help.

Don't lose faith, you will get past this stage.

Take care Joi

[Spork4pedro]

In my case I sleep too much and I'm usually tired, but I don't get much done. On work days I get up and go to work and when I get home I do the bare minimum, then sack out on the couch with the laptop and the TV on. On days off I sometimes get more done but most of it is still frittered away.

I also have been feeling emotionally disconnected lately but, like BTDT, I have the lack of energy and will to get up and do anything. I sleep alot (which to be honest isn't really abnormal...I've always loved sleep) but I can't seem to really get myself to do anything but sit in my chair with my laptop. I WANT to clean my house, play with my son, work out, etc....but I just can't.

This has been going on since the middle of my pregnancy (mid 2009) when my work crashed down on me (on top of full time school stress and hormones). At first I thought it was just me being emotionally tired from working 40-50 hrs and doing schoolwork but I still feel empty after going through birth, hell at work, 10 months of unemployment and the start of my new job.

For me, I believe now that I have depression that is affecting too many people for me to just hope it goes away. I'm not sure if that is the same cause for you but like others have said go talk to your doctor.

Just know that you are not alone in feeling this way and I hope that things get better for you.